My Weekly Learnings #30 (17.10 – 23.10)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. How to have a disagreement that opens minds instead of closing them:
How can you possibly believe that?
→ How did you arrive at that view?

That’s ridiculous!
→ I’m surprised to hear you say that. Tell me more

You’re wrong!
→ What would lead you to rethink that? [Adam Grant]

2. Forgiveness is a productivity accelerator. The great saints, sages, and spiritual geniuses all understood that the main aim on the path to awakening was to stand in any mess that life sends and remain centered, courageous, serene, and free.

As Robin Sharma wrote about in The 5 AM Club, everyone alive does the best that they can based on where they’re at in terms of their awareness and their understanding of life. And once you realize that, you won’t be upset with them – you can begin to forgive them.

So resolve to forgive those who have hurt you [they made you stronger and nobler]. And commit to letting go of what no longer serves you [it got you to here]. Remember that the past was perfect preparation for you to become who you now are and to grow the extraordinary life that you now face the opportunity to create. [Robin Sharma]

3. Colin Powell’s 13 rules of life
Rule #1: It ain’t bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
Rule #2: Get mad, then get over it.
Rule #3: Avoid your ego so close to your position that when your position
falls, your ego goes with it.
Rule #4: It can be done.
Rule #5: Be careful whom you choose.
Rule #6: Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
Rule #7: You can’t make someone else’s decisions. You shouldn’t let
someone else make yours.
Rule #8: Check small things.
Rule #9: Share credit.
Rule #10: Remain calm. Be Kind.
Rule #11: Have a vision. Be demanding.
Rule #12: Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
Rule #13: Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

4. Art (movies, plays, fiction, paintings, poetry…) exists to create a change. Often, that’s a change in the viewer, and sometimes, powerful art changes the culture.

Art with no intent can entertain us, and it can also reinforce stereotypes and simply help what is in our world persist.

Art with selfish intent exists to manipulate the viewer to serve the needs of the artist. It doesn’t often spread, but when it does, it can have a corrosive effect on the world around us.

But art with generous intent is different. It might not address an issue the way you would (in fact, that’s precisely why we need it) and it creates tension as it helps us look at things in a new way.

The plays of Sarah Jones or a book by Sinclair Lewis or music by Charles Wilson or a movie by Amy Koppelman exist to make us think hard. To think about what we’ve taken for granted and to think about what might be different if we cared enough.

I’m not sure it even matters what the artist thought they wanted when they sat down to create the work. The art itself seems to want something, to make a change in the world. And the ability to create art like that belongs to each of us. [Seth Godin]

5. The only two ways to make money:
A. Add value
B. Subtract suffering [Sahil Lavingia]

Finding time to understand yourself

How busy do we make our lives, especially with work, to say that we don’t have time for ourselves?

By not having time for ourselves, doesn’t mean not having time to relax or to eat or to escape (some people don’t make time for that too, but that’s a different topic altogether…), but not having time to understand yourself.

We focus on one particular area of life and we say that this is the area we have to grow in, invest all our time there and when the results come and when we are satisfied (which we never will be), then we’ll focus on our personal lives as well.

But the thing about understanding ourselves is more about self awareness about ourself. Understanding what we truly want, and in which area of life, where do we want to invest our time, what type of returns do we want to see.

The more we understand ourselves, the better our relationship becomes with ourselves, with others, the better we’ll be able to balance the personal and professional aspect of our lives.

All that happens with the most important decision any individual can ever take… To take some time to understand themselves (rather than to simply go with the flow or to follow the societal constructs and to let everything happen to you)

The vibes of your environment

The balance of our day to day and our macro lives hang between our emotions and how we manage through them. Our emotions form from our thoughts and our thoughts emerge from what we absorb and consume.

What we consume depends on the type of environment that is around us.

The environment further gets divided into your internal and external environment, with your internal environment being what you personally consume for your mind and for your body.

But, today we focus on the external environment and the vibes that we get from it.

Why is it said that you’re a sum total of the five people you surround yourself with, is simply because you subconsciously pick up the tiniest of their behaviors, their values and their traits and you start imitating them without knowing how.

Every single thing that immediately happens around you, affects you. Whether this is a positive environment or a negative environment or maybe even a toxic environment, it all gets to you eventually.

The vibes that you pick up from your external environment is going to have an effect on your day to day, on your thoughts, on your emotions, on how you act and behave, on your decisions, on your macro life as well.

Sometimes you understand your environment and you make a stance to act differently, but there’s only so much you can control, especially when you are in an environment you don’t necessarily agree with.

Those are the times when a hard call is made, with respect to your environment and you choose whether to let it be a part of your life or not.

Change doesn’t happen from 0 to 1

How many times can you recollect changing something about yourself? Could be some aspect of your life, could be a minor thing or a major thing.

How many times have you thought it’s taking too long? Or you might have thought that the results aren’t appearing at all?

We sometimes feel that we are the same even after putting in a ton of efforts.

It is because our primary focus is to see that change happen from 0 to 1, and we can’t wait to see that 1 and be joyous about it.

But, in all those thoughts, we forget that change doesn’t happen from 0 to 1.

The process isn’t so easy, the results don’t come so soon, and it takes a lot of time and patience too.

However, the biggest factor that we have to realize in all of this is… Change occurs from 0 to 0.1 to 0.2 and so on.

When you’re on that path of change, we have to focus on the smallest of wins, and those wins are the tiniest of things you have acknowledged, learnt, implemented, experimented with and will now see the outcome of it too.

That is the real change, when you are in the process, when you notice how you rose from 0 to 0.1 and you notice the fruits of your efforts, knowing the fact that it’s going to take a while to reach that 1.

Are you only thinking about yourself?

There are two types of scenarios, single-person scenarios where only you get affected, and multiple-person scenarios where either both the parties or they or you affected.

In most cases, we think about ourselves, as it should be, you should be the first priority for yourself. Is something affecting you negatively or are you doing something unwillingly? In scenarios like those, it should always be you first (whether it is pointing something out or creating those boundaries).

Always self first, your emotions first, your feelings first…

But the question, ‘Are you only thinking about yourself?’ becomes a problem too.

Whilst you put yourself first, the problem begins right there in that question itself, Are you *only* thinking about yourself. We prioritize ourselves first, but we often forget about the other person in the equation.

Whilst we should say what we feel, and whilst we should create boundaries that protect us, we must also keep the other person in mind and how you’re conveying to them what you’re conveying and how it’d make them feel after.

Yes, easier said than done, as is the case for most things that will make us better in the short and long run, and this is one of those things, when even in the heat of the moment, we must practice to not only think about ourselves… But to understand what the other person is trying to convey, the meaning of it irrespective of their approach, and then ultimately, how your words and actions will impact them.

Then the question becomes, Are you then ready to take the responsibility of thinking for yourself and for others?

Doing it all in a rush vs Scheduling it in Slots

Everyday there’s a ton of things to do for every individual. Some things get done, some get postponed, and some never even make it to the list in the first place.

Now, not everyone’s good at time management. When the time comes to actually do any of those tasks, either of the two things may happen… Either you are able to manage your day properly and schedule your tasks accordingly or you go ticking every item off that list one after the other, just to complete every task and there’s a larger possibility of many of those items going unchecked.

What happens in the latter scenario is that you’re doing it all in a rush. In a rush where neither your time is managed nor your energy. Some things may take more time, some less, some require more energy or more attention, some less, but in either of the scenarios you’re rushing towards every task, without being present, without being available for yourself, and in no time will you realize that the day is over and you now have to hover through the next day’s tasks now.

But, there’s another option. One where you manage your time and you manage your energy. Here, you’re more present, and more available too. The approach here is to schedule your day in slots… And then allot your to-do things or your tasks in those slots. Every slot has a time range, when that time is approaching you now focus on that slot, and the set of things alloted in that slot and that alone.

For example, a self care slot, where you can focus on your reading, or meditating, or workout etc.

Another example could be, of a smaller slot, one which is only assigned to read your mails, and none of your other minutes are assigned for this task then.

Now you aren’t rushing nor are you disorganized. Everything is managed properly, everything is in order, and now you know what’s to be done when and for how long, without seeming like things are going out of order.

In a scenario where you’re doing it all in a rush vs scheduling everything in slots, which one do you think makes more sense now? Which one makes you more organized, more present, more in control of your time and your life?

Your Thoughts are your Enemies

Our brains are designed to think, a lot. Where do these thoughts originate from?

Through our sensory organs, every piece of information (not just digitally, but every little thing around us) that we consume gets recorded in our brain.

Then comes learning from association (what do people talk about, what topics are popular, what do people dislike, what gets a conversation going), and learning from self-interest (anything that you get curious about).

Now, because we know the basics of mostly everything, the second part that comes in is how the brain already knows what you’re going to do next or what you’re going to do in specific situations, that originates from every action to every response being a habit and the brain recognizes that.

So when these two overlap, the learning, and the response, therein comes the thoughts. The thoughts around a certain topic, the depth of which depends on one’s curiosity, the quality of which depends on one’s internal and external environment, the quantity depending on their mindfulness.

So, now that we have shed some light on the concept of thoughts, are they our friends or enemies?

Here comes three important pointers that will determine that
– the consumption
– the environment
– the mindfulness

Most of what we willingly consume and not subconsciously is something that is designed to hit certain emotions for an individual. Based on how it hits, that certain information will be grabbed by your brain accordingly.

Because of that, you now consume more than you can imagine… The reason being it’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s making you laugh, etc.

What you don’t realize is the logic and the application behind the emotion are also being consumed by you.

Now comes the environment, internal and external. Who have you surrounded yourself with, what information is being discussed with individuals and groups, how do they tackle their emotions, how do they tackle certain problems, what issues do they create in the first place, there are tens, if not hundreds of pointers of our external environment that thus affect our internal environment, until both have been polluted to a point we aren’t aware of.

The third point is a silver lining for some, but full of dark clouds for mostly all… Introducing the concept of mindfulness. For mostly all of our lives, we live by certain concepts and traditions and associations, which we don’t question, thus them becoming the same habits, generation by generation, for most of the people without anyone questioning anything. We aren’t present to what is happening now because of the past, and what will happen in the future because of the present.

When the worlds of consumption, environment and mindfulness collide, is when either your thoughts serve you or they don’t.

When you start dreaming of your
– fantasies,
– alternative what-if scenarios of the past,
– imagined scenarios of the future,
– a scenario being run from your perspective when you fail to see what’s actually happening,
– starting to feel that everything is wrong only with you, or
– starting to feel that everything wrong only happens to you,

Are some of the classic scenarios when your thoughts are your enemies, feeding you something that keeps you in a shell protected, away from reality and you not being in control.

In such a situation, you aren’t able to grasp the true reality, nor are you able to change things around… Unless you are out of the ‘matrix’.

Unless you decide that I’m going to be in control, I’m going to be mindful, I’m going to choose my thoughts, I’m going to start living life as I choose it to be.

All of this is a lot easier said than done, it takes ages to become self-aware of who you are and understanding the situation that you’re in, it takes time and a lot of patience to first deal with yourself, and later on, start with the process of change, to make your thoughts your friends again… And eventually make your life better.

How are you doing vs How are you doing today?

A simple question that is often asked by mostly everyone, if not all is, “How are you doing?”

A question that is followed by a Hello or Hi before the real conversation begins. Sometimes the question shows care and compassion, but usually, it’s just part of a routine.

Even the reply has become a standard one, “I’m fine” or “I’m doing good”.

Whether you are or not is a different issue altogether. You want to respond and then get on the topic or situation at hand.

But let’s make a slight modification to that question, “How are you doing today?“

A potential response to such a question would be, “Overall I’m doing good. But today’s not so great. A certain something took place and now I’m feeling x because of it.”

Just by adding a word at the end of your question, you now ask something that opens up the other individual and allows them to share the real answer to that question. Not just that, but that simple addition of a word shows the difference in you and shows that it’s not a routine question anymore.

Try it out, next time when you have a conversation, ask “How are you doing TODAY?”

My Weekly Learnings #27 (26.09 – 02.10)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. We enjoy spicy food, roller coasters, and depressing music due to something called “benign masochism”. We feel a sense of pleasure from initiating negative experiences that our brain falsely interprets as threatening.

This realization that the body has been fooled, and that there is no real danger, leads to pleasure derived from ‘mind over body’. [Source: 8fact on Instagram]

2. There is something called organ comfort. There are various aspects to this. Just to handle one aspect of it – see right now, most of the vital organs of the body are in the chest and abdomen region. These organs are not rigid, they are not fixed with bolts and clams. They are loose, hanging in nets. Only if you sit with your spine erect, your organs will be in the maximum possible comfort.

Now, the modern idea of comfort is to lean backward and slouch. If you sit in such a posture, your organs will never be at comfort. They will not function the way they need to. This is especially true if you eat a full meal and sit in a reclining chair. A lot of travel happens in reclining chairs. I would say, if you travel a thousand kilometers on a reclining chair in a car, your lifespan will come down by at least three to five years. This is because the organs suffer so much, their ability to function will go down dramatically or you will at least be impaired in some ways.

Keeping the body erect is not because we don’t like comfort, it is because we understand and experience comfort in a completely different way. You can train your muscles to be comfortable, with your spine erect, but you cannot train your organs to be comfortable while slouching. There is no way to do it. So, we choose to train the body, so that our skeletal system and muscular system are comfortable sitting this way. [Sadhguru]

3. People think originality is a form of genius, but it’s not really about intelligence or talent – it emerges naturally from people who have absorbed this basic fact –

Conventional Wisdom is not very wise

Originality lives in all of us, but we keep it locked away behind the classic delusion :

‘If my weird ideas were actually special, they’d already be out there. If no one else is saying/doing it, there must be a good reason.’

We all come pre-programmed with this delusion. Originals are those who have learned to override it. [Tim Urban]

4. Saying no doesn’t always mean you’re letting someone down. It might mean you’re holding up your own boundaries.

You feel guilty when you focus on the costs of falling short of others’ expectations. You feel relieved when you consider the benefits of knowing your own limits. [Adam Grant]

5. Let’s say you want to teach someone how to play chess.

What most people do is explain how all the pieces work (which takes a while) before playing a game (which is a reward).

Instead, you could explain how two pieces work (which doesn’t take long) and play a mini-game using only those pieces (which engages the student and hooks them).

The more engaging (and rewarding) you make learning and the faster you do so, the more likely the person you teach is to care.

(via p. 48 of Write Useful Books) [Source: For The Interested newsletter by Josh Spector]

Inward and Outward

Every action of ours has an inward and outward effect.

What we think/ feel/ eat/ drink/ how we care for our mind/ body/ the words we communicate/ the work we do/ the experiences we have,

All of it has not just an effect on the outside, but it equally affects us on the inside too (our inner body processes/ organs/ brain activity, brain processes, hormone releases, neural activity, body energy, just about everything).

Every emotion we feel (as an outcome of anything that we choose to do) releases an energy of that sort in the body too.

Every thing we eat and drink is how our body processes it, and whether it is good for the body or not, then has an outcome accordingly.

Whether we exercise or not, not just has an effect on how “slim” we become, but it has an effect on our body processes too.

The words that we communicate, not just affects our character and our relationships, but also the quality of our mind and the type of voice that develops because of it.

In such a short span of a few sentences, it’s a lot to process… But eventually the baseline still stands the same, everything we do has an effect, not just on the outward, but inward too.

We usually don’t think about any of this, we weren’t taught to think in this manner, neither did we question the working of anything.

If we become a tiny bit more mindful than usual, then we can start taking care of our mind, body and soul, at least from now on, if not before (and experience life differently than before).

The mundaneness of a routine

Routines are good and fun. When you have a routine, you have basically collected all your habits and distributed them in a manner that suits your day well.

Having a routine actually gives you the freedom to do more, rather than worrying about what to do when. You now have systems in place, and you can either have time to do specific things more (self care, ideation, socializing etc) or simply work around the slots that you’ve already filled.

Routines happen like muscle memory, those things that you do daily just happen automatically in those timely slots. You can then spend less time scheduling a particular piece of activity, because there already is a slot assigned for it. You can spend less time worrying about missing out on something or just having to skip something, because it’s part of your routine and it will happen.

But, here’s a catch… Only those habits that you love doing will actually keep you on your toes everyday, and that is what keeps the system running.

Only when you enjoy doing it can you then enjoy doing all of those things every day.

Otherwise, the mundaneness of a routine starts seeping in your life.

Every day you wake up, and you have to do a particular activity, then another activity and so on (whether it is with regards to your personal, social, or professional life), your day will surround any of those sectors.

The moment you don’t enjoy any of those particular habitual slots, and it still has to happen, then you start forcing yourself towards those things. Now you aren’t in the right mood right from the start (irrespective of how things will shape up), now you aren’t doing it for your enjoyment, but because it has to be done with or without your personal wishes.

It is that moment when the mundaneness seeps in, and now you start looking at your life differently… You enjoy parts of your life and other parts you don’t. It is that moment when you look in the macro, when you wish things would be different.

One could also perceive it as a call to change, to shuffle things around, to replace your habits with something better, to spice up your life.

Judging your food by how it looks

We judge food by its outcome

We judge food by its outcome – how it looks in the end, how it tastes. This is also how corporations and food chains are able to take advantage, serving us any kind of food, working on their presentation and marketing and also scientifically manipulating the food items as well.

Because we don’t ask the right questions

How often do we care about the kind of ingredients being used for the food we’re eating, the source of those ingredients, whether they are organic or processed, what kind of benefits or disadvantages do they have on you or your mind or body, whether they’re hand made or machine made, etc.

Impact of everything you eat

Everything that you eat, how it’s prepared and stored, it’s quality, all of it has an impact on your life – how it affects your digestive system, nervous system, your brain, your body organs, your cells, your energy levels, the quality of your thoughts, the kind of emotions you cruise through.

At various times in our life, someone may have a disease, someone may be eating medicines, someone may have physical or mental issues – and while there are various reasons for any of it to happen – a good percentage of that also boils to the type of food items you’re putting in your body.

Eating everything you want

Sooner or later, everyone realizes this – just depends at which point of life. When you understand everything, you also realize you can eat anything and everything you want – as long as it’s the right kind of ingredients, it’s prepared in the right manner and if it’s in moderation.

My Weekly Learnings #26 (19.09 – 25.09)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. There is a commonality to all successful businesses and individuals. The commonality centres around a specific story they tell, believe in and what the story is in reality. The more these three are identical, the more successful the person and business will be in the long term. It’s a story that becomes synonymous with them in so many ways that it’s hard to disregard but unfortunately easy to be superficial.

The story comes from the answer to a straightforward question

“Why do you exist?”

And the answer could define your narrative, its success and also determine how satisfied you are with it. Guy Raz, in his book “How I built this” puts it eloquently when he says,

“The story must explain at a fundamental level why you exist. It is a story you have to tell to your customers, to investors, to employees, and ultimately to yourself.”

It is such a fundamental question to refine and focus on. If the answer is built on a foundation of reflection, passion, and an innate need to work on it in the long term, it will bring success, deep satisfaction, and happiness. And in times when the day gets clogged with things to do, interests become many and varied, and new bright shiny objects demand our attention leading to our sense of clarity becoming blurred, Ask yourself this simple question. An honest answer built on reflection can help you find clarity for a lifetime. [Unschooled with Varun Duggirala]

2.

Source: sketchplantations on Twitter

3. Life is easier when you know what you want—but most people don’t take the time to figure out what they want.
It’s not that we are completely lost, but our efforts are often slightly misdirected. People will work for years and ultimately achieve a lifestyle that isn’t quite what they were hoping for—often, simply, because they never clearly defined what they wanted.

An hour of thinking can save you a decade of work. [James Clear]

4.

Source : @ lizandmollie on Twitter

5. Seven lessons on wealth and happiness, by Naval
– Happiness is evident more by its absence than its presence.
– Spend your time in the company of geniuses, sages, children, and books.
– In an age of abundance, pursuing pleasure for its own sake creates addiction.
– Retirement starts when you stop sacrificing today for some imaginary tomorrow.
– Making money through an early lucky trade is the worst way to win. The bad habits that it reinforces will lead to a lifetime of losses.
– Persistent, non-specific anxiety is the result of wanting so much, talking so much, and doing so much that you lose touch with the quiet joys of Solitude.
– Code and media are permissionless leverage. They’re the leverage behind the newly rich. You can create software and media that works for you while you sleep. [Naval Ravikant]

Can you trust your inner voice?

The next time your inner voice tells you that you’re not capable of something or something negative comes to your mind, think where does it originate from?

Your inner voice is a collective of
– your experiences
– your learning
– the people around you
– the information you consume
– your opinions of yourself
– the expectations of the society

Once you know this, ask yourself, can you trust your inner voice?

Moreover, it’s not about ignoring your voice.

The thought should be, if you don’t like your voice, what can you do about it?

With practice and self-awareness, you can change this voice if you don’t like it, make a more positive environment in your head, everything is possible if you want something to change.

All of this takes a lot of time, a lot of patience, and there will be a lot of setbacks as well. Every time you fall, you will feel like why are you even doing this?

But the more you stand still, the more you get back again, you will be able to push one step further, you will be able to look back and be glad you practiced with patience, because you will be satisfied with the outcome.

“Embrace the Mess”

The beauty of film/tv and storytelling is that it has the power to move and influence you, change your perspective, the power to change your approach towards anything.

One such incident occurred while I was watching this TV show, ‘Only Murders in the Building’, and without giving any spoilers, there was this line in the show that just stayed with me, “Embrace the Mess”.

It got me thinking about the mess in our lives, in every area of our lives, and how our life is surrounded with any and all kinds of mess.

Most of the times, we are overwhelmed with this mess, and usually our first approach is to clean this mess so we can have clarity where there was none, or to blame this mess for things not turning out the way we wanted.

But, how many times do we think of embracing this mess? Making it a part of our lives and then driving through it? Instead of letting it hamper our path, making it the road for us to drive through?

Now, instead of this mess overpowering our lives, we’re in control, we have embraced these moments of our lives, and we can decide how do we want to move forward.

To acknowledge this mess, let alone embrace it is one of the biggest steps for anyone to take. It is difficult to accept that our life is in chaos, and to then think of these moments and situations and then embracing them as well, but then what is the better choice, to acknowledge and embrace, or to let it control us?

(P. S. There’s no one definition to explain this ‘mess’. Each individual has their own kind of mess in their lives, everyone defines it differently, and it affects each one differently. You get to decide what is mess for you and what isn’t.)

5 Questions to ask yourself at the End of the Day

Every day brings with its own set of thoughts, emotions, opportunities, ideas, problems, and much more. Every day can be the same and every day can be different, depending upon your approach.

How can you then know how did your day go? How can you evaluate each day?

At the end of each day, you can ask yourself a set of questions, even if they seem overwhelming at first, you can start with one and then keep adding one by one to your list.

You can ponder upon these questions, you can journal your answers, you can simply think about them… But a simple exercise of this sorts helps you manage your days in the micro, so the impact can look and feel even better in the macro.

Here goes the questions…

A. Do you, at the end of the day, look back and just observe everything that happened with you, around you?

B. How did this day affect you? How did it impact you? What did you get out of it?

C. How did your actions affect other people? How did their actions affect you? How did your words affect others and vice versa?

D. Were you satisfied with the events of this day? If not, what changes can you think of so the process of those events can be changed the next time around?

E. Were you able to manage your time? Were you able to allot some time for yourself?

Questions that may look complicated, but are actually simple questions in theory, questions that help you personally perceive your day and your life in a different manner and may ask you to take difficult steps that you wouldn’t have thought of in the first place.

How can you know if you haven’t tried it?

Often, and this happens with each individual, before trying anything new, they want to know how something is going to end, what the outcome is going to look like.

They look upon other people’s outcomes and seek to their opinions, judge the outcome by their outcomes.

That eventually boils down to adhering your life to another individual’s likes and dislikes, and how they want their life to be.

But everyone’s life is different, everyone’s perspective to their life is different and how they want to live it.

If that is the case, then how can you know anything if you haven’t tried it yourself? What if it suits you? What if the outcome is in your favour but wasn’t for the other individuals?

What if something looked difficult for someone else, but it’s only when you tried it and you find out it wasn’t difficult for you?

How can you know you won’t enjoy the process until you don’t try something out?

Eventually, the hard question needs to be asked for every decision you take based on how someone else did it… How can you know if you haven’t tried it?

Either you find out or someone points it out

Change is an essential part of life. It happens sooner or later. It happens voluntarily or involuntarily, that choice remains with you, but it happens.

But where does it usually originate from?

– Either you find out (something about yourself and you decide to change that certain something)

– Or, someone points it out to you (and then it clicks you)

It usually originates from these two key factors, which then further leads to a number of steps that evolve into a before and after change.

Expanding into those two factors, how does an individual find something out?

That itself originates from two factors, one, you’re on a path of becoming self aware and want to improve at certain areas of your life.

Second, either through any kind of an interaction with an individual or a certain event that took place becomes the catalyst that then evolves into you thinking about change.

Or if not by yourself, then a few fortunate people have closed ones around them who look out for them and are then willing to point out when something about you is bothering them or something that needs to be looked into.

Others, well, there are times when someone’s boss or a colleague, or a professor, or on social media, where someone who doesn’t know you personally will point out something and that is when you find out about something.

Either or, when you keep your eyes open, you will constantly find clues which tell you something about yourself, which become this catalyst of change. Only if you’re ready to look though.

Juggling your Set of Responsibilities

Any individual has their life divided into multiple sectors, and every day they have to juggle between them – their personal life – includes self time, family/ friends time, house chores and personal chores, relaxation and or escapism time, and their professional life – includes their work timing, projects, deadline, etc.

Mostly it’s branched between the personal life and professional life, and a ton of sub sectors then get added to those two branches.

Every day, any individual has to juggle each set of those sectors, because with each sector comes a certain set of responsibilities as well.

Sometimes there’s a choice, and sometimes there are certain things that has to be paid attention to, and amidst all the daily chaos, the individual has to maintain the balance between their personal and professional life, and equally juggle between them and the set of responsibilities that are asked/ required for the particulars.

So is life, and along with all dreams and deadlines, also comes this juggling that has to be done.

The Last Thought

Every day. Hundreds and thousands of thoughts. In an hour. Within a span of hours. In a day.

Some you remember. Some connect to one another. Many you forget. Some repeat again the next day.

In all this chaos of thoughts, the last thought that you sleep with is extremely important.

It’s that thought that stays with you throughout the night, throughout your sleep. That very thought is going to grow on you, without you even knowing it.

Where one may or may not be trained to command their last thought, one can definitely try to remember the last thought that they sleep with. And may be as an experiment, also notice how that very thought plays a role on the next day or generally in life too.

What’s that last thought you sleep with?

Looking back at your Day

Do you, at the end of the day, look back and just observe everything that happened with you, around you?

How did this day affect you? How did it impact you? What did you get out of it?

How did your actions affect other people? How did their actions affect you? How did your words affect others and vice versa?

Were you satisfied with the events of this day? If not, what changes can you think of so the process of those events can be changed the next time around?

Were you able to manage your time? Were you able to allot some time for yourself?

The questions might feel a bit overwhelming at first. You can start asking them to yourself one by one, and then add one every day or however you feel comfortable.

You can ponder upon these questions, you can journal your answers, you can simply think about them… But a simple exercise of this sorts helps you manage your days in the micro, so the impact can look and feel even better in the macro.

An Idea becomes Obsolete

The pace at which the world is changing and evolving at, with the advancement of technology, the trends keep changing, the platforms keep changing, the audiences’ tastes keep changing… It’s hard to stay at one particular thing for long.

Everything has a shelf life, unless it’s impact is long term, but even then, most of the micro things have a shelf life at least.

You have to constantly be updated, you have to constantly experiment, evolve with the times and bring new ideas into the picture.

An idea, if not shared in time, becomes obsolete with time.

As soon as an idea strikes you, you have to work on it, and bring it out as soon as possible.

Another individual could’ve a similar or the same idea. Another individual could execute at a faster pace than you. Not that there’s competition, but if ideas come to you at a slower pace than others, it’s always better to output them as soon as possible, so the identity of the idea stays with you.

All the iterations and extensions of that idea could then be worked alongside that particular idea. But that one has to go out before it becomes obsolete. Before it’s freshness is expired. Before it’s essence is eliminated.

Every idea becomes or seems obsolete if not shared or executed in time.

The thing about Exceptions

Whether it is with regards to our routine or habits or our style of living or thinking or communicating…

There comes a time, every now and then, when we have to make exceptions. Constantly.

What kind of exceptions? Well, day to day, there are obstacles that we have to adapt ourselves to, there are problems that keep occurring, and we have to make these exceptions (from our usual way of doing things) as per those moments and situations.

The thing about exceptions is, if we don’t make them, then we’ll not be able to enjoy or rather savour whatever caused the change in the first place.

The thing about exceptions is, if we don’t make them, then we’ll not be able to adapt and lose the tiny bit of control over what can be controlled of the moment.

The thing about exceptions is, we have to make them, because sometimes there’s no other choice.

Sit with ‘It’

You may be stuck with a problem, you may not like a particular emotion that’s staying with you, a memory that’s coming back to you…

Our usual instinct is to get rid of any of the particulars, so we escape, i.e. normally done with the help of any kind of distractions.

As soon as we get distracted, there’s a change in our thoughts or emotions, and what we were stuck with or rather what we didn’t want to encounter is now gone.

That road seems like the easier path to take. And as often as it works, the problem with that path is, it keeps popping up time and again.

What looks a tougher road to take even before we begin is to address ‘it’. ‘It’ could be anything – a emotion, a problem or a memory.

Amongst a bunch of processes that can be tried and tested for this, varying from individual to individual, a method that works wonders is to sit with ‘it’.

Instead of escaping and distracting yourself, sit with whatever you’re stuck with.

Usually, we avoid that distress only for it to dig even deeper and erupt on a larger scale next time.

When you sit with that ‘it’, what you also allow is to face that discomfort, and when you are ready to face it, is when you’re able to see things more clearly.

At those times, you’re able to understand yourself more, able to understand that ‘it’ more, and now with time, able to understand how do you tackle or face the ‘it’.

Only when you sit with ‘it’.

Does anyone know you a hundred percent?

We take into account other people’s choices before making our decisions. We get bogged down by people’s opinions. We feel hurt by people making fun of us or by people trolling us. We feel judged by people.

Moreover, we let all of those things affect us.

But in all this chaos, we forget the most important thing, do any of these people know you a 100% to take into account any of those things?

When people don’t know you, they look at a percentage of you (one they’re able to perceive) and make their opinions / judge/ decide or whatever based on that.

While it’s not okay for them to do that, you cannot do anything about it. But what you can do is understand that it’s an opinion on a perceived image of yours.

Let’s dig more into it. From your parents to your coworkers, from your siblings to your friends, from your social media audience to people you encounter on the streets, there are people at different levels of your life who know different things about you, who know a part of you or more than that.

But even the most important people don’t know you a hundred percent. That’s the thing.

Right from the deepest of your thoughts, to everything that you think and you do and you plan to do, it’s all within you. Even when you share, you can only share so much.

That’s what it boils down to. No body, not a single person knows you a hundred percent, than you.

So when you take anything exterior, that is outside of you, into account, then you must realize this… That no body knows you a 100% hundred except you.

Sure you can take their opinions into account, but at the end of the day you know yourself better, and you know what’s good for you and what’s not. What you want to do, what you must do and what you shouldn’t.

A moment of rest

In a day of attending to your personal and professional tasks, in a day of listening to others, in a day of constant noise, in a day of chasing things, in a day of deadlines and calls,

Don’t forget to take a moment of rest.

Don’t mix the concept of rest and sleep. Both are different concepts and both are important in their own right.

Rest is to just recuperate your breath, rest is to stay still for a while, rest is to not focus on anything, but to also not distract yourself with anything.

Rest is to take a break for yourself. Rest is to not burden yourself with personal tasks or self improvement or learning during your rest. The right way to manage your time is to balance everything and give some time, whether a few minutes or more for your rest as well.

A concept not spoken of enough, a concept that is looked down upon, and yet it is the rest that springs you back into action, puts you back into focus, gives you the stillness to be in action for the rest of the time, rest is important.

Rest for a while, if you haven’t already.

Mistakes are a Part and Parcel of Life

Every time we make a mistake, we feel why, why did I do this? What could’ve happened differently?

We regret over those mistakes, and wonder would things have turned out differently if we hadn’t made those mistakes?

We also wonder, are we the only ones making such “stupid” mistakes?

Alas, the reality is, there’s hardly anyone who doesn’t make mistakes. Literally no one.

Making mistakes are a part and parcel of life. Without such mistakes, none of us would be where we are, individually and as a civilization too.

No matter how much of an amateur you think you are, or how great you have become according to others, sometimes you feel some things are right and you do those things according to that thought process without realizing you’re making a mistake.

Sometimes you make that mistake, you learn from it and carry on. Sometimes, you’re about to make that mistake but the universe stops you from making it, it wasn’t supposed to happen that way.

Either way, you learn in both those scenarios and eventually you carry those Learnings in your other phases of life as well.

But, the more important thing to remember is, mistakes are a part and parcel of life. No one can avoid them. No one can get away from them, irrespective of your knowledge and success and what not.

Repetition of an Idea

How many times have you noticed a particular idea executed repetitively over time?

You feel you’ve already seen this before, or why should I read or consume this again? You feel why did this person imitate an idea already done before?

But, when you think of it, you peel off all the layers, and you boil everything down to its bottom-est layer, and you notice that there are a handful of ideas which have been broken down into, created layers of, and served into hundreds and thousands of ideas.

Sometimes, the roots of an idea remain the same, but what becomes different from person to person and from time to time are two things –

A. Every individual brings their set of perspective to the table. How they perceive the world and what they think the world provides to them is how they filter these ideas and express it through their lens, with a fresh set of eyes.

B. Now, there are some, who have an extra zest of curiosity within them who experiment with every idea, observe it in the open, and then combine multiple ideas into one packaged new idea, a layer someone didn’t think of before.

Either of the scenarios allow everyone to be introduced to newer ideas, to newer perspectives, to newer point of views, and to evolve with these ideas over time.

Whenever you dismiss of an idea being repetitive (some people just copy and paste but that’s an entirely different point altogether), just try and look at what could be different and what you can learn from it.

Just Write Something

Whether in the form of

– documenting your thoughts,

– documenting your day,

– sharing a piece of content,

– expressing your gratitude or in the form of affirmations in a journal,

Every individual should just write something.

When you write, it not only helps you instilling that same thing within you, but it also helps you give you a deeper perspective to what you think or rather who you are.

When you write, it helps you clear your mind, it helps you understand things better, it helps you see yourself in a third person perspective.

When the benefits outweigh the negatives, then there is some form of an advantage to try something out, to experiment with it and to see how it personally benefits you.

Why don’t you just write something, anything, and see how it makes you feel?

The intersection of yours and others time

Time is important. There shouldn’t be even a debate on that topic. Macro time, micro time, each individual should keep that in mind.

Macro, whatever you’re spending your time towards, is the process or the destination worth it?

Micro, every day we wake up with a set of tasks to complete, things to do, things to do when we’re free, and so on.

In the midst of that time management, there comes a time or many, when your time is intersected with others and their time with yours. Two scenarios, either you want their time or they want your time.

But, understanding this intersection is crucial. Because each person’s time is important.

When you want someone else’s time, you cannot “expect” it on your time, unless they’ve agreed for that time as well. Certainly so, because now person A wants something on their time, but B has their own things aligned according to their schedule (unless it was previously agreed upon), so how can person A expect person B to leave everything and follow person A’s schedule, just because it is convenient for them. And vice-versa as well. And same logic applies to multiple people in a group as well.

*A small segway to the topic… Another important factor to consider in this entire understanding is when your time impacts someone else’s.

When you’ve agreed to do something that involves other people, not just yourself, and there’s a certain time factor around it, then when your time impacts others, then that range of time is not worked according to you, but according to them. (not by being readily available to the other individual, but by respecting the timeline of the task)*

Quite often, because we feel time is limited, time is short and we’ve so much to do for the day, considering the micro perspective, we forget about this intersection of time with others, and how its not only about yourself.

When that is understood and implied, then eventually you see a distant improvement in how you operate with others and how any kind of personal or professional work or task or communication is done with ease. Just by understanding the intersection of your and others’ time.

Which side are you on, black or white?

We consider everything as black or white. Everything is either at one side or the other. Everyone chooses a side. Based on where they align with their values and what matches with their perspective.

There’s a lot to be uncovered in the middle, i.e. the gray area. But that requires time and efforts and a bit of digging to get around.

So, instead, people choose one of the two sides where they think they align with. Sometimes, the black, sometimes, the white.

But, what if instead of choosing a side and sticking to it, you try and wear both the colours for once? Check out both the sides, try and understand both the perspectives, both the point of views, and look at everything from the middle, being in the gray area.

When you do that, then you are not opting for a side, but instead you are the third person noticing what’s happening and creating a personal point of view with what your approach should be, instead of aligning with someone else’s or instead of thinking “what the right side” would be.

That approach starts with an open mindset of not wanting to be on a side, wanting to try out both black and white and maybe even try to align with both sides of the coin instead of shouting heads or tails.

If we don’t learn from the past

You can not travel back in time. You cannot change what has already happened. You cannot change its outcome. So there is one option left, to focus on the present and how it influences the Future.

As true as that may be, we cannot forget the past. That past is a part of our life. That past has made our present, however it may be.

Therefore, we must learn everything from the past, as much as we can. Ours and everyone else’s.

History speaks a lot. So when you think about yourself, your past says what you did to get here, and depending on your level of satisfaction, whether you must continue down those same steps or start changing them.

Similarly, thinking about the human race’s history, our country’s history, we understand the culture, the background, the mistakes made, how certain elements of history are always repeated.

The ultimate point being, if we don’t learn from our past, we can never influence our future in a way we want to. Sure the past is the past, but the present is because of the past, and in order to change that future, we must learn from that past so we can make those changes in the Now.

As complicated as that may seem, all answers lie in the past. And we need to learn from it.

Figuring out yourself is the biggest decision one has to make

The world is developing at a rate where at every step of the way, there’s chaos.

Chaos about all the necessary things in life, chaos about all the “luxurious” things in life, there’s chaos everywhere.

Fill in the societal pressure of doing a certain something by a certain age.

Now, for most people, with the chaos and the pressure, they start following a certain route, doing everything that falls along their way, without questioning too many things… And basically following all the norms.

But does that mean they have figured themselves out!?

In most cases, unfortunately that’s not the answer. Following a route and knowing yourself what you truly want are two different things.

Figuring yourself out is a task in itself. Some wait their entire lives to do so, some don’t at all. Some very quickly, and with some it happens at their own timeline.

But, a question of this stature falls down to a bigger question, What do you align yourself with?

Forget all associations, forget everything that society has taught, forget all institutions and forget everything that was externally built… Now ask yourself, what do you align yourself with?

Sitting down with a pen and paper and asking that question to yourself will help you jot down everything that comes to your mind, of course sitting stress-free and schedule-free.

What do you align with – values, character traits, interests, hobbies, tastes, type of people, wants, needs, etc.

This isn’t something that is obtained in a single sitting, but one that definitely get you started. You have your whole life to figure out yourself, and everyday you might discover something new, but that intention to start figuring out yourself is the biggest decision that one has to make.

Getting back on track

Life’s about ups and downs. When there’s an up, there’s a down as well. That is applicable to macro life, and micro to the days as well.

Some habits you love, some you want to get rid of. Some things you’re able to check off the list, some you aren’t able to.

And sometimes those micro downs get you down, with a feeling that you didn’t do it (when you could’ve), with a feeling of what now…

Sometimes you can’t do anything about it… Sometimes you have a bigger agenda to follow and you lose a track of those things…

But it is when you get back on track, that action, that feeling is something else. It gets you in the mood, it gets you in your groove. You feel like you were missing the action and now you’re back.

There’s nothing like getting back on track, when your mind is set to it, when you’re looking forward to it and you execute it.

My Weekly Learnings #20 (08.08 – 14.08)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. Sociologist, historian, and activist W. E. B. Du Bois with some life advice in a letter to his daughter: “The main thing is the YOU beneath the clothes and skin—the ability to do, the will to conquer, the determination to understand and know this great, wonderful, curious world.

Don’t shrink from new experiences and customs. Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bedroom. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not.

Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul.”

Source: The Correspondence of W. E. B. Du Bois (via James Clear’s newsletter)

2. There are countless ways to make a point. You can clearly demonstrate that you are angry, smart, concerned, stronger, faster, or more prepared than the person you’re engaging with.

But making a point isn’t the same thing as making a difference.

To make a difference, we need the practical empathy to realize that the other person doesn’t know what you know, doesn’t believe what you believe, and might not want what you want. We have to move from where we are and momentarily understand where they are.

When we make a point, we reject all of this. When we make a point, we establish our power in one way or another, but we probably don’t change very much.

Change comes about when the story the other person tells themselves begins to change. If all you do is make a point, you’ve handed them a story about yourself. When you make a change, you’ve helped them embrace a new story about themselves.

And even though it’s more fun (and feels safe, in some way) to make a point, if we really care, we’ll do the hard work to make a difference instead. [Seth Godin]

3. Time away from something or someone gives us perspective on that something or someone. [Mark Manson] (Check out more here – https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monthly-91)

4. Most people disagree on social media in the most undesirable way either because they’ve not learned about superior methods of disagreeing or just wish to outrage to get likes. This chart by Paul Graham is a good way to know if you disagree well. [via Kunal Shah’s Twitter account]

5. Things people aren’t afraid to say when they have psychological safety:

• I don’t know
• I made a mistake
• I disagree
• I might be wrong
• I have a concern
• I have an idea

[via Adam Grant’s Twitter and image from @ lizandmollie on Twitter]

More Writing, More Depth

How do you observe something at a deeper level? How do you notice what’s beneath the surface? How do you break the structures of these walls that are built around you and start asking questions?

The answer to that lies in writing.

The more you write, the more you understand your thoughts. You start laying down all these thoughts, you start connecting them, you start observing layers you didn’t before, you start pondering about different things here and there, and then comes the depth.

With more writing, not in a single day, but with practice and observation, comes more depth. The more you write, the more you think, the more you question, the more answers you seek.

Something on like, on such a deeper level, doesn’t come with your own thoughts, or by communicating with someone, but laying it all brick by brick and then witnessing this structure that you’ve built.

Whether you write for yourself personally, or you write publically like this blog, every time it unlocks something different in you, especially more, when you write with a purpose of why are you even writing it.

Are you really that person?

Every individual on the internet with a social media account has a persona that they put out there. Now, for some that’s their authentic persona, but for most that’s a modified image of them, or just one of the images for social media.

Now, why blame just social media, right? Whether it is in regards to your colleagues, or your friends, or your loved ones, most people have a different persona for each situation.

Each of these particular personas include a set of values, character traits and habits that represent the essence of that persona.

Now, bring in self-awareness, understand who you truly are, what your values are, what your character traits are, what is your purpose, what is it that you’re putting out…

Once that is settled, compare that with your other personas, and ask yourself… Are you really that person?

Because, if not, then how long can you act it out. Plus, what’s the reason for not portraying that authenticity? What are you trying to hide? With that also comes a bunch of other questions, which you can easily figure out once you’re in that spot.

But, moreover, the main essence of this question is to realize who you truly are, and so you don’t confuse your own identity in the midst of all these other portrayed identities.

Not thinking about the present, past or future

Aren’t we in a constant turmoil, always thinking about what’s going on, what’s going to happen next, how to plan for it, what happened before, etc.

Either in the form of memories, or tasks to do, or how something is affecting us, we are always thinking about the present, past, or future. Always.

That turmoil affects someone more who wants to be in control, who doesn’t want to let the situation control them, and eventually thinking more than others about everything in these three time scenarios.

It’s now of course very easy to say this, but what takes an enormous amount of practice and patience, but even a minute worth of not thinking about the past, present, or future is worth it.

To not think about yourself or how anything affects us, or anything that needs to be done, just to be with yourself and to stay in that silence, even if it’s for a minute is definitely a feeling hard to describe. But one that brings great solace to your mind and to you.

What is this moment telling you?

Every moment of our life, something or the other is happening, in the form of a thought, a communication or an action, every moment has something of its own.

But what is this moment telling you?

Either as a lesson, or a learning, what are you receiving from that particular moment?

Sometimes we rush so much from one moment to the next, we forget to take in what we are receiving. We don’t soak it in.

Sometimes, we have to stay still for a second (or learn stillness in general) to understand what that moment is telling you, and what we can take away from it.

Next time, simply ask yourself out of the blue… ‘What is this particular moment telling me?’, until it becomes a habit.

When more things are going wrong than right

You are making a list right now. A list about your life. A list that says everything that’s going right in your life right now. And besides it, everything that’s going wrong in your life.

But, all of a sudden, whilst noting down these pointers, you realise that more things are going wrong in your life than right. You are suddenly horrified at that feeling.

A sudden thought comes, ‘Why is everything so wrong about my life?’

Now, there could be two possible scenarios ahead.

Looking at this list, you could spiral down a pit hole just wondering how did everything go so wrong in every phase of your life, every tiny element against you and just worry about the what ifs and what nots.

Or, you could take a breather. Notice what right and wrong looks for you. Imagine how different life would be if all of those things had gone right for you… Do you like that life? Would you be where you are, with your learnings and experience, if everything that has happened with you, didn’t happen? How many of these situations are in your control, and moreover what can you do about it? If you aren’t doing anything about it, then well, can you complain?

When things start going wrong, and even the tiniest of things start going wrong and it starts piling up, a ton of thoughts and emotions rush through your mind. And you certainly don’t like them. But that path leads to a dark path which you certainly won’t like, because it’s just darkness, negative thoughts, negative emotions and what not. That starts affecting everything, starting from your mind and body to everything that you think and do, and how you interact and more importantly, what you think about life.

Because at that moment, what you think about life will also determine everything that happens to you in the now and in the future, irrespective of whatever happened in the past.

The date is August 3, 2026

The date is August 3, 2026. 5 Years from Today. You imagine today is that day. Just visualize it!

Now, ask yourself the following questions…

Do you want to be mentally healthy?
Do you want to be physically healthy?
Do you want to be free of all ailments?
Do you want a positive voice in your head?
Do you want to have less anxiety and/or less stress?
Do you want to be satisfied or feel fulfilled in life?
Do you want to have fewer problems in your life?
Do you want to evolve to a higher version than what you were 5 years ago?

In order to say ‘YES‘ to those questions 5 years from today, the work for it starts TODAY.

Your today’s actions may not have an impact today, but they definitely have an impact ONE year from today, FIVE years from today, and TWENTY years from today.

The life you live today affects your future, no one else’s.

The three focus points of my life

Mind. Body. Breath. The three most important aspects of our life. The three focus points of my life. Each of those areas plays an individual role in our lives. Moreover, in our lifetime, either beforehand or after, you have to start taking care or start paying attention to all those three areas. But here’s the important part, your mind, body, and breath play a role in each other’s areas as well. Your breath plays a part in the working of your mind and body. Your body plays a role in your mind and breath. Your breath plays a part in your mind and body. When one fails, all fail. When you work on one aspect, it has an impact on all three aspects.

Knowing that, understanding the advantages of working on those areas, understanding how those three aspects of our lives are interconnected, but also have an external impact on all areas of our life as well.

Whether it is how you live, how long you want to live, how well you want to live, what’s going on in your mind, is your mind well-fed, what is the voice inside your head telling you, how does your body regulate your energy, how often do the foods you eat cause a negative impact on your thoughts, on your day as well, how eating something nutritious immediately turns that scale, how is your breath affecting your actions, how is your food affecting your stress levels… These and more are questions that every individual should ask themselves… The sooner you start, the sooner you start seeing the results and the impact of these results on your life and the various external aspects of your life.

Mix all of this, with self-awareness, and I boiled down my life to three specific focus points and what do I need to about it, now, and how that affects my future. Thus, I focused on the following three areas… It took time, a lot of patience, and understanding, and experimentation, but eventually I realized the change once I started walking down that path.

1. I replaced the foods understanding their impact on my mind and body

2. I worked on the chemistry of my breath

3. I changed the voice in my head

All three individual areas of life, seem as if they don’t impact each other or the external aspects of our life, but they do, more than one can think of.
Replacing the foods helped not just my body, but also the health of my mind, and my breath. Working on my breath helped me realize how it impacts every moment of my life, how it impacts what I do in the very next moment, and how it’s signaling my emotions too. The voice in the head is the biggest work that can ever be done, one that is initially shaped by society’s prejudices, biases, and whatnot, and that’s how we grow up. But work on it, and that voice can become a positive, optimistic tone that helps you and pushes you to help others as well.

None of this has a destination though when you start working on it, it’s a lifetime work-in-progress, but every day you see the progress, and every tomorrow there’s an evolution waiting to happen.

Are you buying it for yourself?

How often do you buy something? How often do you post about it on social media? Oh, you aren’t active there? How often do you tell your friends then about what you bought?

We have this feeling that we really want something, then we buy it, then we’ll share it everywhere and more often than not, the happiness of telling everyone about it takes over the happiness of having that thing.

Where does that root from?

We have this dire need within us to be better than others, to be superior, to choose communities that have the same beliefs as us. When we are compared to someone else, we should be the one chosen. We want to constantly look down upon others. Because that makes us feel better about ourselves. Now how does that happen? Who cares about characteristics or values, right? Or who cares about being secure with themselves?

So, now we buy something that someone else couldn’t. We will go somewhere where someone else couldn’t. And talk about it, on and on and on. We’ll constantly post about it.

Now, let’s get one thing clear. Sharing something about your life isn’t wrong. You want your audience, you want your friends and your relatives to be updated with what’s going on with you. With that intent, sure, it’s a good thing.

But when it turns into, oh let me show that person what I bought, or let me tell everyone what I’m able to do, then it turns uglier. Now whatever you’re doing isn’t for your self at all. Now, there’s boasting about it, and what not.

When you don’t tell a single soul about it, and/or you don’t share it on social media or anywhere else, and yet you’re satisfied with what you’ve bought, well then, you have bought something truly for yourself.

Random Thoughts

All our thoughts aren’t focused in one direction. How can they be?

Our thoughts range between 12,000 to 80,000 in a day, depending on the individual.

In that quantity, they aren’t focused on one topic alone. From time to time, maybe in minutes or hours, those thoughts range between a ton of topics.

And most of them are just random thoughts.

So random, you wouldn’t know what to do with them. But what can you do? How many times can you even divert your thoughts to a particular topic only?

But here’s the thing… Every thought has something to say! No matter how random they are, how matter how meaningless they may seem, every thought has something to say.

More often than not, its these random thoughts that speak volumes. They may lead up to something about us that we didn’t see before, or maybe you’re ideating on something and these random thoughts bring something to light that help you in that direction.

The point being, instead of dismissing these random thoughts, we should admire them and cherish them, and try to extract what can be extracted from them, instead of being disappointed that you’re not in the right space, or that you’re distracted.

These random thoughts sometimes speak more than we can see.

A forceful break, regards the body

How its often told that you should balance your life, that you should take macro breaks in between things, and micro breaks in between different tasks during your day as well…

Sometimes we do it and sometimes we don’t.

Those breaks are as beneficial as the things that we were doing if not for those breaks. Both have their time and place and importance.

A break of that kind allows you to rest, to rejuvenate, to gather yourself to go all out again.

But sometimes, unknowingly, your body decides to give you a break as well (either because you didn’t know you needed it or because you were taking on too much).

A forceful break, temporary, is sometimes handed over to you, when you can’t take a decision but you just have to accept that break and wait for things to get back better again.

Such breaks could be of any kind, but instead of freaking out, may be we just ought to listen to our mind and body, and just understand the signals being sent to us, and the takeaways from those signals.

Sometimes, a break is forced onto you, regards the body.

Take a Minute

Do you have a ton of personal tasks to do? Do you have work projects pending? Are you running around a lot?

More than your physical output, all of this organizational mess of our day-to-day puts a pressure on our mental output.

Right from our energy to the output of our emotions, to our time, everything takes a hit.

And at the moment when you think everything is up to the brim…

You must take a minute.

A minute for yourself.

A minute to settle down.

A minute to take back control of yourself.

A minute to get back to you and focus on what truly matters.

This could be a minute or several minutes, but take it without feeling the guilt, without feeling the pressure, without thinking of the consequences.

Sometimes all you need is that minute is to get back on track.

One Dark Cloud vs the Entire Sky

Quite often, we look at a dark cloud and then describe the entire sky accordingly.

In our generic perspective, which applies to most of us, that one dark cloud is defining the entire beautiful sky. Even though that sky is still behind that cloud.

That same perspective is how we look at life as well.

We let our biased thinking define one particular moment into how miserable your life is or how nothing turns out the way you want it to be.

One moment describing the entire situation. That’s the way we look at most things in life. That’s the way we approach most situations in life. That’s also the way we handle most things in life.

Without even considering the entire sky behind that dark cloud, we have jumped to the conclusion.

Also because that’s easy to understand, that takes less efforts, everything else you will have to think, reflect and work upon. So why do that then?

Ultimately, One Dark Cloud vs The Entire Sky – what do you want your perspective to look like?

The Unspoken Act

Some things that are done shouldn’t be asked for.

Some things that are done shouldn’t be told after they are done.

Some deeds, even if they go unnoticed, add a ton of value in someone’s or your own life.

That is the Unspoken Act.

The magic of an unspoken act is that you should do it if you want to do it, don’t wait for anyone’s approval, don’t wait for anyone’s validation, if its on your mind, go for it.

Irrespective of the outcome, the fun is just adding that value with that unspoken act.

90% of the things require just this…

Whether your professional or personal life, whether you’re thinking about your self or a goal that you want to achieve, or a task yet to be completed…

90% of the things that we do in life or that we would like to get done require just one thing…

Discipline.

Whether it is a project at hand or wanting to workout, or meditate, or if you’d like to cook or journal, anything and everything that you want to do, you can create plans for it, you can jot down the steps, you can find sources for inspiration and get motivated in the short-term, but eventually it all boils down to discipline.

Discipline is that self-generating power that keeps you going, that keeps you on your toes, that keeps you motivated even when the outcome isn’t in your favour, you don’t fail, but you keep going. You keep trying, but you don’t stop.

That’s the power of discipline. It doesn’t allow excuses, it doesn’t allow a setback, no external affairs can create a hindrance.

Said that, being disciplined isn’t an easy process for all. It takes time, it takes patience, and moreover the mindset to get that discipline going.

To get disciplined, you need a strong why behind you. A purpose. And self awareness. Mix the right ingredients in the right proportion and it gets you going. Don’t and it’s a matter of time before you aren’t able to continue for whatever reason and there and then you are thinking why did this not work out.

Pick your Battles

All of us, every day, have a ton of stuff to do, and there’s a limited period of time to do them.

In the midst of managing your time, trying to complete your tasks, give enough time to every sector of your life, there will be moments with others, with yourself, with some situations, where it may not go according to your expectations, or you may not be on the same page with a certain someone, or you might be in the wrong.

The point is, when these moments do occur, you have to pick your battles.

Give more than enough time to one particular thing and you take away the time from the other things… Time, energy and peace.

So when you have to pick your battles, you have to let go of your emotions, and you have to choose which conversation is worth arguing for, which outcome is worth fighting for, which situation requires more of you, and for others you just let go.

Not every situation is worth winning, not every situation is worth fighting for. At those times, you have to be smart enough to pick the right battles and move on from the rest.

These battles happen every day, some are happening with yourself too… But if you just hold onto one, then how will you live the rest of the day?

One Mind, One Body, One Life

Whilst every sector of our life holds its own importance, with an alloted amount of time and efforts that need to go into it, there’s nothing more important than your mind and body.

The two sectors of our life, that we take for granted, and we pay attention to only when something goes wrong. Then we start the work towards it.

Instead, when you change your mindset, when you change your approach, you realize that focusing on your mind and body not only has an impact on those two areas, but the network effects fall on the other regions of your life as well, whether with regards to your thoughts, your emotions or your actions and more.

All of us just have the #OneMindOneBodyOneLife, and its high-time we take back the control of our lives, give the importance where its due and live life satisfied, happily, and peacefully.

The ability to see beyond

What’s the basic viewpoint of our individual selves? How everything and how everyone affect our lives is what we care about.

Everyone wants to live their life a certain way, and they want everything and everyone else to abide by those standards and expectations so their life can be lived according to how they fantasized it.

In a scenario of this sorts, the mindset becomes so limited, that we only see ourselves, and we see our own advantage in everything. Here’s where ego and jealousy and competition boils up.

Where an individual stands out is when they develop an ability to see beyond themselves.

This ability comes in when they develop a mindset of growth, a mindset of service, a mindset to help others.

This ability helps in seeing beyond their identity, beyond their beliefs, and now empathy grows in, perspective grows in. Now, they see other people, situations of their life in a different light, they approach themselves, within and exterior, in a way different than before.

The ability to see beyond themselves helps to think bigger, to approach life in a bigger manner, to see the world in a wider form than before, your viewpoint has here shifted from yourself to the world.

Accepting your Loss

Life is a balance of wins and losses. Either or isn’t even a choice. Sometimes you win at something, and sometimes you lose at something.

But, our society has created this narrative where everyone must win. At all costs. Irrespective of how you win. That’s the mentality that has been set.

And with a win put on such a pedestal, imagine how a loss is treated as! An individual is considered a failure if they lose at one small thing, they are made to feel as if they have lost at life.

Moreover, simply shutting down that noise and mindset for a second, when that individual just accepts their loss for what it is, then they’re free of the burden of it.

Accepting any kind of loss, in whatever form, in any sector of life, you understand that its okay to lose at something, you understand the mistakes and the lessons learnt from it.

You then develop a mindset where you understand the balance of life, you try more things because you feel free to lose as well. You shatter the structures on which the society is built, and live a life which is balanced with wins and losses, no matter how small or big.

The Best Examples

So many individuals, so many stories, some inspirational, so many to learn from, so many to not repeat again…

But, any day, any time, the best example is of oneself.

This isn’t about self-boasting or arrogance, but for every individual, the best example that they should give is of themselves. Especially when they look at their past selves and then look at themselves today, in the present.

Those are any day the best examples, because no matter how inspirational or motivational someone else’s story is, only you know the hard work and efforts and struggles you have put into yours.

Your best example is your today when compared with your yesterday, and to see how far you have come, how much you have overcome, how much you have changed.

Moreover, if you doubt of you being your best example, that is again an inspiration to make one for your tomorrow and when you compare that tomorrow with your today.

Random Appreciations

When you do something that works out, for someone or in general, as a deed or a cause, you’re then appreciated for it.

That’s the appreciation you get after the deed is done, after the outcome can be seen, after it all works out.

That kind of appreciation is almost guaranteed, irrespective of it being a validator for you or not.

But, the most beautiful and the most surprising thing are Random Appreciations.

Appreciations that are randomly made, irrespective of the outcome, irrespective of whether it worked out or not, irrespective of who it was for.

Such appreciations are genuinely made from the heart… They are made because you feel it.

One could be appreciated for their values, for their efforts, for their love and care, for their work in progress, there are a n number of things to appreciate for.

Just not the clichéd way of doing it at the end, but when they are Random Appreciations.

Self-created Shackles

Either through

– the identities we create,

– the thoughts we have,

– the limitations we put on ourselves,

– the narratives that are set by the society,

– the biases set in our brain,

– the fight towards wanting to be right,

– the fear of being judged,

– the need to be better than others…

There are a bunch and more of self-created shackles that we continue to put on ourselves, thinking this is how life is run, thinking this is how life is supposed to be.

But these shackles are put on ourselves by ourselves. With a choice.

This is a self-created prison and we continue to torture ourselves. We continue to go through it, and we continue to suffer through it.

BUT, that’s only until we realize that we have the keys to get rid of these shackles as well.

A path to create a new mindset, a path to have better thoughts, a path to not compare or judge and be judged, a path to be open and independent and free of the society narratives and biases, a path to grow and evolve, a path that will take time and patience, a path where results won’t be seen in a day or a week, but even if it takes a year or more, knowing the path is freer than before, you’re ready to walk on it, you’re ready to get rid of those self-created shackles.

Do you remember your thoughts?

60,000 to 80,000 thoughts in a day. That’s on average. Some say, thoughts range from 12,000 to 60,000 as well. Whatever may be the right number, they still are a lot.

The more habits you create, the more muscle memory of things you have, the more your mind will takeover during those moments, and you’ll end up thinking, having thoughts, not being in the present moment (unless one practices to be in the moment from time to time).

But, the more important question now remains, do you remember your thoughts?

How often does one thought lead to another and another, until there’s a chain of thoughts about a single topic and suddenly you jump to thinking about something else and now you have forgotten your previous thought?

Moreover, considering the quantity of thoughts we have in a day, its not a surprise that we don’t remember a majority of them.

As true as that may be for all of us, these thoughts do state something about us… How we think? The type of thoughts we have? The emotions behind them? The values behind them? Are they guiding us into something? Are they providing more ideas to you? Is there a deeper layer to them that you don’t understand yet?

The point is, an effort needs to be made to understand these thoughts, to make sense of these thoughts, to know whether these thoughts are even right for you or not.

Those efforts will be difficult, you won’t be in control to remember in the beginning, but it starts with remembering a single thought and holding on to it and trying to decode why it came to you.

Eventually we need to start remembering our thoughts, or else what’s the point of even having them.

The Accountability Exercise

Humans blame. We all do. For the tiniest of things. Everything that doesn’t turn out the way we fantasized about, the blame of that goes to someone, another individual, a group of individuals, a corporation, a government, a country, a religion or something else.

We are designed this way over the years. We cannot accept responsibility. Because putting the blame on someone else makes it easier to explain to ourselves, it becomes easier to put the blame on someone else, now you’re not accountable for what happened, irrespective of your percentage of fault.

Now the other party will bear the blame (in your imagination), every time, whenever an outcome doesn’t turn out your way. For every micro and macro element of your life.

Here you don’t have any control, you’re constantly looking for excuses, you’re constantly on a hunt to blame people, and it becomes an automatic mechanism for you without you realizing doing it.

When that is realized, when you decide to take control of your life, when you decide you want to be accountable for everything that happens in your life, without depending on external factors… Then you start thinking of steps to head in that direction.

Therein comes the Accountability Exercise.

The Accountability Exercise, where after every moment where you slip out, start losing control of the situation, when the outcome doesn’t turn out your way, you step back for a moment and say to your yourself that you’re accountable for what is happening, it is entirely on you.

No one else is responsible for that. Except you. Everything is on you. You’re accountable for each and everything of your life.

It takes time to accept this. It comes with practice. You do it consciously until it replaces the already-existing mechanism stuck in your brain that lets you think that everything going wrong in your life is someone else’s fault.

A day without learning

For someone who is obsessed with learning,

To learn, not particularly academically, but any form of learning, especially with the amount of content available on the internet, via audio, video or text, one can learn anything and anywhere, whatever topic they’re interested in.

Not obsessed per se, but who particularly looks back at the end of the day and notices what they’ve learnt, what are the takeaways from those learnings,

For someone like that, a day without learning is noticeable like a snap of a finger.

What if the day goes by and you didn’t get the time to learn something new and add something to your reservoir of knowledge?

But can a day really go without learning?

There could have been an experience with something, a conversation with someone, a thought in your head, that made you think… That made you ideate more… That was something new to learn.

Can a day really go by without learning, if you are really looking forward to learning something new?

Slip-ups

Slip-ups are a part and parcel of life. For everyone. Moreover, no one avoids them.

Now when a slip-up happens, you have to ask yourself the following questions –

1. Do you realize your slip-up?

2. Was it in your control or not?

3. If yes, what are you going to do it about it next? If not, then why dwell over it?

4. More importantly, does it change anything about your life, your plans etc? How?

The versions of ourselves

Quite often, all of us have multiple personas for different people, different situations and that is what we call our day-to-day versions of ourselves.

There’s one persona for your friends and family, there’s one for the public and the social media, there’s one for work and then there’s one for yourself.

Every version is different from the other and over time, you learn to swiftly switch between them, pertaining to the situation.

Every version takes something different out of you, and you usually aren’t the same between them.

But, out of all of them, the most important version is the one that you show yourself.

That persona needs to be the truest, so you can see who you really are, so you can accept yourself, and so you can live with yourself.

The other versions might have something extra, something that you portray for that version, adding a bit of spice and lies as well.

But it cannot be the same for yourself, because if that happens, then how will you ever recognise yourself.

One-dimensional Reality

Anyone who sees the world just by their own limited perspective, without wanting to see it from a third-person view, lives in a one-dimensional reality.

In such a scenario, everything is perceived just by that individual’s viewpoint.

So thereby, their biases and their narratives decide the outcome of a scenario even before it happens.

Whether this is through conversations, or actions, with people, or with generic scenarios, how the world reacts to them and how they react to the world is pre-defined in this one-dimensional reality (and it always goes the same way).

To broaden one’s horizon and to widen their perspective means to accept this reality they live in and then wanting to not that way.

Can I Inspire myself?

Right now, right at this moment, we have an unprecedented access to people and information and knowledge.

What are you interested in and you have one or more individuals who are experts in that field, sharing their knowledge.

Thanks to the internet or any other method, you have got that access and soon, you’re now inspired by that individual.

Either from what they have achieved or what you have learnt from them.

Everyone has these list of inspirational people they follow, whom they look upto.

But thinking about that, here’s a question that popped into my mind, “Can I inspire myself?”

Can my journey of everything I have overcome, everything that I have struggled through and come out on the brighter side of things, everything that I have achieved, can I inspire myself?

Can that be the motivation for myself? Can that be a lesson for myself?

Can I inspire myself?

A question I think everyone should ask themselves.

Embracing the Silence

In a previous post here, I wrote about how we fill the silence in our lives with various things and why do we do it.

Having spoken about escaping silence and running away from it… What can one do to embrace that silence?

That golden silence which is going to unlock so many things in your life, that you didn’t want to face but now you want to… How do you embrace it now?

The first step is one of acceptance. No matter what is revealed to you in this silence, you will accept it and not run away from it. That mindset of acceptance is the biggest key to embracing silence.

Once you have the mindset, then there are two ways to embrace it…

One, you do a lot of self-reflection. Sit to think, journal your thoughts, go deeper into them and when you face those deeper, darker thoughts, and you go deeper and deeper into them and take away their power, then you embrace the silence.

The other way is to meditate. Practice meditating, sit for longer periods of time, go in deep meditations, let everything come to you, feel it, feel those moments, and embrace that silence.

Once you experience it, then you want it more. You feel its power and what it does to you.

Embrace the silence.

Filling the Silence

In order to escape the mind, we fill the silence with

– talking (more than usual)

– music (contextual) and/or consuming content in general

– activities that you don’t want to do

(or anything else that one might do to fill their silence)

Why do we do it though?

It’s only when we are scared of that silence. The deepest questions that you don’t think of lie in that silence. The answers you avoid lie in that silence. The truths you run away from lie in that silence.

Silence speaks volumes.

And that is why we run away from it. Because we don’t want to face it. That’s why we escape. Its feels better to escape your reality than to face it.

Facing it means to take action, to pause and look back, to accept your mistakes, to change your tomorrow, that requires change in thoughts and actions and that’s a lot of efforts.

Instead, we avoid the silence.

// i write about how to embrace this silence here.

You don’t know how you sound

In all of focusing on that voice in your head, how your actions affect others and how others’ actions affect you, we forget how we sound like.

No, this isn’t about your vocals and about the literal sound of them.

But, the impact of your words on others.

You may say something casually, but someone else with a different perspective than yours might take it differently.

And that is a lifelong conundrum that we live in.

You don’t know how you sound and you may never know.

Your anger in your words might put someone down deeply than you’d think. Your appreciation in your words might be taken sarcastically by someone else.

Moreover, this is a vice versa case as well. Because you yourself might get affected that way too, by someone else’s words.

The answer to this conundrum?

Either deeper conversations so you understand something properly, or a deeper understanding of the person so you know their style of speaking, or on a macro level, not to give so much importance to who speaks what (a difficult task that will come with a lot of practice, and might not entirely be recommended because sometimes people need people, they don’t want to do it alone).

Coexistence

To thrive as a human, we must coexist. What do I mean by that?

We are designed to ensure that we keep ourselves safe and we get to eat and sleep. Keeping history in mind, we’d do anything to ensure those things.

Over time, that anything has evolved into pulling other people down, doing wrong by others, picking out flaws in others and making yourself feel good or even getting frustrated by others and maintaining a distance from them, amongst other things.

However, where does that take you though?

In order to thrive, especially keeping our human relationships in mind (friendly, romantic, professional, and others), we must learn to coexist.

Yes, being aware is good. Yes, being woke is good. Yes, taking care of yourself is good. But eventually, in order to feel fulfilled, in order to evolve, in order to thrive, that answer lies in maintaining a common ground with others and then walking on that middle ground together.

When that happens, there would be lesser arguments, lesser disagreements, lesser frustration and better relationships with others.

The answer is coexistence.

Better or Worse than we are?

We never seem to understand who we are. Our perceptions about ourselves are always on the either side of the scale, either we think we are better off than we really are, or we think we are worse than we really are.

That thinking stems from a ton of things, but that sort of thinking cannot be ignored which also counts a lack of self awareness.

Without self awareness, we are never really able to understand us. Subtract all the outer layers, and then understanding what’s left, because that’s the real us.

Better or Worse than we really are? That thinking will unfortunately never make us understand who we really are, and who do we want to be.

On the bright side, everyone does it, on the other side, we really need to stop doing it.

A life reset button?

If you could hit a button that would reset your life, would you hit it?

This button would reset everything, who you are, your thoughts, your habits, everything about your past and present and everything that you have thought of the future.

This button will create a new you, where you recreate yourself + a brand new subconscious memory (with no background of the narratives and biases you have in your brain).

But, this button will also make you forget your memories and your experiences, all your learnings from your mistakes and your successes as well. Everything you have built (not materialistic things).

Such a question makes you think the value of who you are, your life. So, if there was a button to reset your life, would you hit it?

Rough Roads

Rough Roads. Difficult Journeys. Hiccups. Everyone goes through such phases in life.

Such a phase teaches us the most important lessons, tests us in the toughest of times, and ensures whether we’re ready for the next step or not.

Has the rough road chosen us or have we chosen the rough road? That is surely debatable. But even if we willingly chose it, there must be a reason.

Such a phase is not understandable to ourselves, let alone others. But one can only assume that it gives a chance to strengthen ourselves, it gives us the opportunity to make decisions we otherwise wouldn’t have, it allows us to run when we are ready to run.

Often, you find a diversion towards a highway when you get out of the rough road.

Listening is an underrated skill

We talk. We like to blabber. We listen to reply, and not to learn and understand someone else. That’s how we have programmed ourselves to be.

If someone doesn’t talk, they’re labelled as arrogant, selfish, or what not.

But what is someone labelled as who listens well?

Listening is a skill that isn’t headlined enough and is surely lacked in many of us. Let’s call it an underrated skill. Those who have the skill understand its value, those who don’t never will.

When you actually listen, you observe, you understand that certain someone, you understand their perspective, their point of view. Moreover, you get to learn something yourself, you get to widen your perspective, you get to understand how people of a certain taste think or act for example. All of that happens when you just listen.

Instead of throwing up your opinions everywhere, how about just listening? How about polishing that underrated skill in your life portfolio?

According to the circumstance at hand

What is the circumstance at hand and what does it ask of you? Does it require you to stay the same or does it require you to adapt?

The situation could be in control or it could not be, but you need to act according to the circumstance at hand, and not how you would regularly react.

That’s what the circumstance at hand demands of you. To stay sharp. To stay atop of things. To not let things get out of your control. No matter what.

Once you are able to adapt according to every situation that life throws at you, then you’re in control, then you’re able to live life on your own terms, then you’re on a path of growth and improvement.

The past influences the Present influences the Future

Life runs in a cycle, where every moment affects another moment constantly.

Everything that we did in the past affects us today, every past action’s outcome is being lived today, in the present.

The same cycle will carry on for tomorrow as well. Our present thoughts, plans, and action will influence our future.

If the future needs to be better than the present, then we need to make the present better in order to make the future better.

The past influences the present influences the future.

Staying neutral is picking a side

There are two sides to a coin. For and against. People are on the either side of it, either for or against, and very rarely (if not, never) would you see everybody on just one end of the coin.

So, according to what is right to us, we pick a side and then voice our opinions towards it, or moreover live by that side. (now this applies to a numerous amount of things)

What happens when you don’t pick a side? When you choose to stay silent? When you want to stay neutral?

The bigger question is, is that possible?

If not by words, then by action, and if not by action, then by thought, everyone chooses a side.

Due to mainly fear, or with a lack of acceptance, or not wanting to be seen choosing a particular side, one stays neutral.

But, even in doing so they are choosing a side. But silently. And subconsciously. That neutrality is then counted towards wherever the majority is. Because that’s how it works.

Unless you state otherwise.

The more you think…

The more you think…

The deeper you’re able to dive into a topic…

The more answers you can search…

The biases and narratives you’re able to uncover…

Sometimes it is a hole you dig for yourself…

But often times, its a blessing than a bane…

The deeper you think…

The more of life can you understand.

A day without Judgement

Every individual, since their childhood, is laden with the society narratives and biases and thus grows up to be someone who is in a constant comparison with everyone else.

That leads to judging others, at every moment, noticing their smallest of flaws (because eventually it makes you feel better).

Instead of noticing your strengths, you’re on a lookout for others’ failures. It unfortunately doesn’t lead anywhere, except you feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied all the time.

What can be done differently is to take a different approach to this altogether. Once you realize this mindset, then you can take steps to reform yourself. Sure, the results will not appear in a day, but the first step can surely be taken.

A day without Judgement

That is what I propose. Be on the lookout for every thought you have. Try to go on an entire day without judging anyone or anything (no judgements against real or fictional beings).

The moment you break the chain, note down what exactly was the judgement, how it made you feel and was it even necessary.

Now, try again tomorrow and try to go on even longer (until you can complete an entire day without a single ounce of judgement through your thoughts and words).

If the roles were reversed?

We are quick to judge others. We are quick to criticize others. We are quick to jump on conclusions. We are quick to point fingers at others.

If we don’t like what someone said to us, or how they reacted, how they acted in the first place, than hail mary!

But, what if the roles were reversed?

What if you do the exact same thing, but you don’t even realize it?

Would you then judge yourself or criticize yourself or point fingers at yourself?

Learning Happens Everywhere

If someone wants to truly learn, where’s the best place to do so?

But, the right question to ask is, what can I learn from this very thing that happened with me? (it can be anything that you just did)

The beauty about learning is that it happens anywhere and everywhere. You could be talking to someone and learning. You could’ve just read a tweet ot watched a video and learnt from it. You could’ve made a mistake and learnt from it.

Every moment, when carefully observed, has something to teach. Only if we are ready to look in that direction and gather some takeaway from it.

A Moment of Relaxation

Either the time is spent thinking about what’s next – thinking about the future – thinking about the steps to be planned…

That leads to what if something goes wrong and then creating a backup plan – and then planning for it.

Or the time is spent thinking about what’s already done – the past – actions and thoughts – what went right and what went wrong and how it affects today.

Amidst this chaos, sometimes all you need is a moment of relaxation. A moment to relax – a moment to stay still and not think or worry about anything else – a moment to enjoy what your life is.

Sometimes all you need is that moment of relaxation.

Lost in Transmission

Some things are said, but not understood. Some things unsaid, but yet understood. Sometimes your words don’t match your thoughts. Sometimes your actions don’t match your values. So much is lost in transmission.

One individual’s appreciation can be another individual’s insult. One individual’s lesson can be another individual’s failure. This is the reason context is key in each and every situation.

On the outer layer, we see everything from our own perspective, our own values, and our own experiences. But bring in context, and everything that was lost in transmission seems clearer now.

How can you maintain that balance of context is the key to maintaining everything.

Evolving

Some things you know and some you don’t.

When you’re in doubt, is when you question something.

Evolution happens when you question the obvious and get to the bottom of it.

Be Alert or Miss the Train?

Opportunities. Takeaways. Lessons. Memories. Experiences. Moments. They come and they go.

Now, either you’re alert to receive them. To form them. To learn from them. To enjoy them.

Or you’re busy with something else, or you’re not present enough and unfortunately, you miss the train.

How can I take care of my body?

‘How can I lose my weight?’ – a question that’s often asked time and time again, by every human being.

It’s always about the weight. It’s always about the calories. It’s always about the numbers on the scale.

And these weight loss goals, whilst they do motivate you to take action, they also lead on a path that’s short-term and result oriented, hence resulting in you taking this path again and again.

But ask yourself a different question, one that always benefits your body, a question that constantly helps you on a path to having a healthy body.

How can I take care of my body?

A question that you will ask yourself when you start your day, when you end your day, and before having any and every meal.

A question that will make you understand the benefits of working out, the importance of it on your mind and body.

A question that will make you understand how important are certain ingredients to your body, how disastrous are some and how you are addicted to certain foods that don’t benefit you at all.

A question that keeps you on your toes, keeps you in check, and also keeps you motivated.

Ask yourself, “How can I take care of my body?”

What are you watching?

Our brain constantly records each and every thing that we do – what we consume (read, listen and watch). There are then neurological and psychological impacts to all of it.

In simple terms, what you feed to the brain is extremely important, because neurologically, our brain and our body organs are connected. Every thought that occurs, originating from what you consume, leads to a particular emotion (the type of emotion is then based on the category of thought) and the implication of that emotion is then felt in the body.

Psychologically, based on what you consume, your brain is constantly mapping out, in case of a film you’re watching, the character’s traits, their emotions, their journey in the storyline, your takeaways from it and something like this on a micro scale leads to changing how we think, how we act and how we talk.

Now, the question arises, what are you watching?

Because apart from how you originally think, the society narratives that have already influenced you, and the type of conversations you have, what you watch is going to impact your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, how you behave, how you think of yourself and of others etc.

The next time you choose to watch something, try and understand what you’re taking away from that consumption and the similarities of it in your real life.

Reverse the Effects?

An action took place. An outcome occured. Is it possible to reverse the effects?

Not at all. You took on the consequences, the day you acted, very well knowing it led to two paths – you’d love the outcome or you wouldn’t.

Every day of your life, you have to live with the effects of your actions that you have already taken and they keep compounding.

Unless… You realize that past actions have present consequences, but you make a choice that you wouldn’t let your present actions have future consequences that you wouldn’t like.

Thinking, Thinking, and Overthinking

Minute 1: Thinking about the Past (a certain action or a consequence of it)

Minute 2: Thinking about the Present (how you’re currently feeling, living the consequences of yesterday)

Minute 3: Thinking about the Future (how is today going to affect my tomorrow)

Minute 4: How could I have changed my past? (how could I have acted differently)

Minute 5: How can I change what I am currently feeling?

Minute 6: What can I do to not feel this tomorrow?

Minute 7: Thinking about how can tomorrow look different than today?

Minute 8: Daydreaming about an alternate timeline where everything is perfect

Minute 9: Overthinking about everything

And just like that, 9 minutes were spent on something that happened in the past, spread through today and the imaginative tomorrow. Alternate timelines were created, alternate scenarios were created, but with a lack of action, nothing changed.

The loop might repeat yet again, in another hour, in a few hours, multiple times in a day, for different topics, and different thoughts, again and again.

This happens to everyone.

The loop of thinking, thinking, and overthinking.

Until one can learn to snap back, be in the moment, understand what’s in their control, what’s not, what can be changed and what cannot be, and the actions that can be taken to actually change the today and tomorrow.

Where its needed

To those who need, not want, but need, and they shall receive.

Love will be given where its needed.

Support will be given where its needed.

Help will be given where its needed.

Anything that is required out of necessity and honesty, is often reciprocated with that particular ask, all that is required is you ask, but with honesty.

Yesterday I was clever, today I am wise.

Quite often, people want to change the world, in some form or the other. Usually this stems from an understanding that something is missing, or something could be better, on a worldly scale.

But, at the same time, such a feeling also arises because your perspective or your point of view doesn’t match with the world’s and this quest to change the world often originates from you being able to change that.

A beautiful quote from Rumi fits in perfectly here, ‘Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.’
When you shed all the layers, when you start asking questions in depth, when you start facing your own vulnerabilities, you also understand how much you need to change yourself.

Instead of portraying your perspective onto others, you need to upgrade yourself and understand others’ perspectives and point-of-views. When you change yourself, you also elevate yourself to understand what someone else is going through and what do they want, instead of the initial version where you wanted to place your thoughts onto others.

When that happens, is when this quote also makes the perfect sense to you, and you are able to use the learning from this beautiful quote from Rumi.

My Weekly Learnings #5 (25.04 – 01.05)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. No sense in being a puppet, especially if you can’t be sure who is pulling the strings or why. [Seth Godin]

(Read more here)

2. Writer Alice Walker on the discomfort of growth:

“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger than we were before.

Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant.

But what is most unpleasant is not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be… for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”

Source: Living by the Word: Essays

3. If you are going to be jealous of someone, you must be willing to swap your *entire* life for theirs. You can’t cherry-pick the aspect of their life you want.
You must give up *everything* you have and know. [Summarized for context; Naval on The Knowledge Project podcast]

4. Demonstration of success creates trust, which unlocks opportunities for further demonstration of success. The loop goes on, and that’s just the way it is. Hating people and complaining doesn’t do you any favours. [Kunal Shah on Paras Chopra’s Bold Conjectures podcast]

5. Fragmented attention is an enemy of engagement and excellence. [Adam Grant]

Proving people right?

How many times have our conversations with others ended with the statement, “I’ll prove you wrong”.

Either in anger, or ego popping up, are the two major scenarios when one wants to prove someone else wrong.

Then, your life’s objective isn’t to be happy, isn’t to enjoy the process, isn’t to become better, but just to prove someone else wrong. And once you do that, then what?

Most people feel lost then.

Instead of facing off with such people, how about being around those people whom you want to prove right?

Such people who walk with you, who support you, and who also keep you grounded whilst supporting your vision.

Now what you’re doing is for the right reasons… Now you want to do something you are interested in, you want to do something that you want to spend your time on, and now you’re proving those people right who had your back.

My Weekly Learnings #4 (18.04 – 24.04)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. Your first impression isn’t your appearance, it’s your energy. (Ascendant Power)

2. Intelligence isn’t a substitute for knowledge. Being smart doesn’t mean you’ve taken the time to be informed.
Knowledge isn’t a substitute for wisdom. Being informed doesn’t mean you’ve developed good judgment.

Good judgment requires the humility to know what you don’t know. (Adam Grant)

3. Only the one who has faced failure is able to tell where you are bound to fail as well. (TVF Aspirants)

4. “Like our stomachs, our minds are hurt more often by overeating than by hunger.” — Petrarch

5. When you deal with an angry person or an angry mob, they are in a state of amygdala hijack.
It’s often not helpful to talk to their prefrontal cortex of their brain and try to rationalize that time but easier to communicate in childlike sentences and calm their amygdala first. (Kunal Shah)

The ‘More than 1 Follower’ Responsibility

If you have more than one follower on any of the social media platforms, you have a responsibility.

A responsibility that is not a rule per se, but one that needs to be upheld for humanity to walk together and progress.

This responsibility states that you do your best

– to ensure your words and actions don’t put anyone down,

– to ensure you help out someone else, if you can

– to share what will make someone else’s life better (that doesn’t mean you post for other people, but that also means that you don’t post anything degrading or offensive to anyone else)

– and, to mainly ensure that you walk with others and not against them.

These are not rules. These are not laws. But sometimes, humanity is beyond that, and to progress, to unite, to move forward, we must come together with a unified set of responsibilities such as these, especially on online platforms that connect us globally in order for that to happen.

The Baggage of Yesterday

Every day, every moment of our time is spent on thinking about yesterday, our past actions, our past results, our past thoughts and what not.

Because you know the outcome of yesterday, i.e. today, we tend to think more of yesterday and everything we did to be here today.

Now, where you are today, because of yesterday, leads to either you being satisfied with today or you being disappointed and discouraged with the baggage of yesterday.

This baggage holds you back, holds your emotions, can keep you in a what-if loop cycle, constantly thinking how you could have changed yesterday.

Only thing to snap back and to come back in the moment is to realize that you cannot time travel and what’s done is done. But, today leads up to tomorrow and that is the only thing in your control.

When its meant to be

Sometimes things happen, not in your control, but are good for you.

Sometimes, not.

Other times, you wish for something to happen and it does.

But, mostly it comes after constantly persevering irrespective of the consecutive failures.

Particular things are bound to happen at particular times of your life, and its different for all individuals.

The common factor that occurs in all timelines is, when its meant to be, then its meant to be.

My Weekly Learnings #3 (11.04 – 17.04)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. • There are no full stops in success. There are just commas. Success is not a destination. Success is a journey.

• One who seeks victory is a Man. One who spreads Victory is a ‘Maharshi’.
(Maharshi, a Telugu film)

2. More isn’t better.
    Faster isn’t further.
    Money isn’t wealth.
    Habits aren’t destiny.
    Solitude isn’t loneliness.
(Shane Parish)

3. ‘Everyone is rational’
But if that’s true, then why don’t we all agree on the right next step?
It could be because everyone has a different experience, different data and different goals.

Or, it could be that you are the only one who’s rational.

And it could be that we all like to tell ourselves we’re doing the right thing, but ultimately, all we can do is make choices based on how we see the world.

The way we see things drives our choices, and, of course, our choices change the way we see things.
(Seth Godin)

4. ⁃ Early to bed, early to rise
    ⁃ Not skipping meals and eating on time
    ⁃ Being regular with exercise

Remain the most underrated and undervalued means to boost immunity,  simply because they cannot be packed into a bottle and sold as a pill.
(Rujuta Diwekar)

The power of a ‘NO’

How often do we feel that we have to say yes to something? We feel pressurized, we feel its an obligation, we feel saying no would make it look rude. Thus, we end up saying yes to a bunch of things that we don’t want to do or things that waste our time, especially when its taken from elsewhere.

The power of a ‘NO’ allows you the time, the freedom, and the independence to do the things you want to do, the things you truly want to spend your time on and not end up doing things forcefully or things that you’re not interested in.

It’s only when you start saying no more often, is when you’re able to live your life like this.

To dismiss or to accept?

Whenever you receive any information, or you receive a contrasting opinion to your thought, you have two choices.

Either you dismiss it quickly and stick to what you know, whether it is right or wrong, whether it is accepted or not, or the second option is to accept this new information, to accept a counter opinion, to hear the other side and what they have to say.

Choosing the latter option widens your perspective, expands your viewpoint and helps you grow and evolve. Then you have the choice to change with this information or let your information change someone else (whichever is the right one).

The Me Time

Our time (during the day) is divided into a bunch of phases, which include

– your work time,

– your family/ friends/ relationships time,

– your escapism time,

– your chores (cleaning yourself, your house, paying your bills, those types of activities) time,

– and your ME time.

This ‘me time’ is an essential part of your life, day to day and macro, both. This me time is not for any other purpose or individual, but for yourself.

Whether you use this time to rejuvenate, to relax, to learn and grow, to heal, that is upto you. This time gives you the chance to focus, to look back, to look forward, to look within, to look outward. But this is the time which is solely used for you.

The things that you’re able to do during this time, and the outcome, or what you feel during, are things that cannot experience in your other phases nor can you mix it with them.

Like any other time spent on the other phases, your me time is equally important to your life.

One thought leads to another

Constantly studies are being conducted on this, but it is said that an individual has 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts in a day, a single day.

When you look upon this, it is imperative for every individual to figure out what they are thinking about, where those thoughts are leading to, and whether you should change the way you think or not.

Throwing more light upon the topic, not all of those thoughts fall under 60,000 separate topics, but rather fall under particular branches and go in depth of them.

Now, for a particular topic, one thought leads to another and another and goes deeper and deeper into that topic (also spending a certain amount of time on this).

Under such conditions, how you think, your process, what do you think about are important points to ponder upon, because in the macro, such thoughts are going to form your emotions, your actions will depend upon them, and ultimately your life will be based on all of that.

It all starts with your thoughts, one thought after another.

My Weekly Learnings #2 (04.04 – 10.04)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. There’s no such thing as a “good” or “bad” emotion. There are only “good” and “bad” reactions to emotions. (Mark Manson)

2. Not doing it because somebody else has done it is like not eating because somebody else is full. (Jack Butcher)

3. A list of 6P’s that provide a useful framework for anyone who wants to sell something.

Product – what are you selling
Pricing – at what price
Person – to whom
Purpose – why are they buying it
Priority – why now
Prestige – and why from you? (Balaji Srinivasan)

4. Intelligence can be analogized to computers. Belief in a singular intelligence implies that humans possess a single general-purpose computer, which can perform well (high IQ), average (normal IQ), or poorly (low IQ). Multiple intelligences theory implies that human beings possess several relatively independent computers; strength in one computer does not predict strength (or weakness) with other computers.

Read more here – https://www.multipleintelligencesoasis.org/a-beginners-guide-to-mi

5. “Italy is known for tomatoes. Thailand for chilies. Germany for sauerkraut.

But tomatoes originated in Peru. Thailand imported chilies from Central America. Sauerkraut started in China.

Everything is a remix—and the world is better for it. Share what you know. Learn from others.” (James Clear)