Listening is an underrated skill

Listening is an underrated skill

We talk. We like to blabber. We listen to reply, and not to learn and understand someone else. That’s how we have programmed ourselves to be.

If someone doesn’t talk, they’re labelled as arrogant, selfish, or what not.

But what is someone labelled as who listens well?

Listening is a skill that isn’t headlined enough and is surely lacked in many of us. Let’s call it an underrated skill. Those who have the skill understand its value, those who don’t never will.

When you actually listen, you observe, you understand that certain someone, you understand their perspective, their point of view. Moreover, you get to learn something yourself, you get to widen your perspective, you get to understand how people of a certain taste think or act for example. All of that happens when you just listen.

Instead of throwing up your opinions everywhere, how about just listening? How about polishing that underrated skill in your life portfolio?

The past influences the Present influences the Future

The past influences the Present influences the Future

Life runs in a cycle, where every moment affects another moment constantly.

Everything that we did in the past affects us today, every past action’s outcome is being lived today, in the present.

The same cycle will carry on for tomorrow as well. Our present thoughts, plans, and action will influence our future.

If the future needs to be better than the present, then we need to make the present better in order to make the future better.

The past influences the present influences the future.

A day without Judgement

A day without Judgement

Every individual, since their childhood, is laden with the society narratives and biases and thus grows up to be someone who is in a constant comparison with everyone else.

That leads to judging others, at every moment, noticing their smallest of flaws (because eventually it makes you feel better).

Instead of noticing your strengths, you’re on a lookout for others’ failures. It unfortunately doesn’t lead anywhere, except you feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied all the time.

What can be done differently is to take a different approach to this altogether. Once you realize this mindset, then you can take steps to reform yourself. Sure, the results will not appear in a day, but the first step can surely be taken.

A day without Judgement

That is what I propose. Be on the lookout for every thought you have. Try to go on an entire day without judging anyone or anything (no judgements against real or fictional beings).

The moment you break the chain, note down what exactly was the judgement, how it made you feel and was it even necessary.

Now, try again tomorrow and try to go on even longer (until you can complete an entire day without a single ounce of judgement through your thoughts and words).

Yesterday I was clever, today I am wise.

Yesterday I was clever, today I am wise.

Quite often, people want to change the world, in some form or the other. Usually this stems from an understanding that something is missing, or something could be better, on a worldly scale.

But, at the same time, such a feeling also arises because your perspective or your point of view doesn’t match with the world’s and this quest to change the world often originates from you being able to change that.

A beautiful quote from Rumi fits in perfectly here, ‘Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.’
When you shed all the layers, when you start asking questions in depth, when you start facing your own vulnerabilities, you also understand how much you need to change yourself.

Instead of portraying your perspective onto others, you need to upgrade yourself and understand others’ perspectives and point-of-views. When you change yourself, you also elevate yourself to understand what someone else is going through and what do they want, instead of the initial version where you wanted to place your thoughts onto others.

When that happens, is when this quote also makes the perfect sense to you, and you are able to use the learning from this beautiful quote from Rumi.

My Weekly Learnings #5 (25.04 – 01.05)

My Weekly Learnings #5 (25.04 – 01.05)

Amidst all the content I consume every week, through this weekly series of ‘My Weekly Learnings’, sharing highlights of content pieces that caught my eye and provided more value than I could imagine.

(P.S. Every Sunday, I share a list of what to read, listen, and watch, in my weekly series, The Last 7 Days. You can check out the editions here).

1. No sense in being a puppet, especially if you can’t be sure who is pulling the strings or why. [Seth Godin]

(Read more here)

2. Writer Alice Walker on the discomfort of growth:

“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger than we were before.

Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant.

But what is most unpleasant is not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be… for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”

Source: Living by the Word: Essays

3. If you are going to be jealous of someone, you must be willing to swap your *entire* life for theirs. You can’t cherry-pick the aspect of their life you want.
You must give up *everything* you have and know. [Summarized for context; Naval on The Knowledge Project podcast]

4. Demonstration of success creates trust, which unlocks opportunities for further demonstration of success. The loop goes on, and that’s just the way it is. Hating people and complaining doesn’t do you any favours. [Kunal Shah on Paras Chopra’s Bold Conjectures podcast]

5. Fragmented attention is an enemy of engagement and excellence. [Adam Grant]

Life goes the same without meditation too

Life goes the same without meditation too

If you’re someone who doesn’t meditate, that’s absolutely fine. Life goes the same without meditation too.

You’re going to live the same life as before and nothing changes.

But,

– if you want to get ahold of your emotions

– if you want to still your mind and body

– if you want to find inner peace

– if you want to be more free and open

(amongst other things, you also start looking at your own life differently, your past mistakes, your present decisions, your future ambitions, your wrongdoings, your virtues etc)

Only if you want such things to happen in your life and more, then you must try meditating and try implementing it to be a part of your daily active lifestyle.

But, life goes the same without meditation too.

What you Eat

What you Eat

Right from what we eat to when we eat and how much we eat is something that’s either followed by tradition or media manipulation.

Tradition involves ancient, timeless wisdom, foods that come from mother earth, which benefit the mind, body, and soul.

Media manipulation involves stories that melt your heart, advertising that creates cravings and scientific experiments that make the food pop in your mouth.

But, that’s not all. An understanding of food is something that everyone needs to have, in order to have a good today and a good tomorrow.

What we eat affects your

– gut

– inflammation in the body

– immune system

– cells in the body

– energy levels

– emotions

– body alkalinity

When we understand how a certain food item affects your body, you automatically feel the need to remove it from your system, irrespective of how it tastes and how long you’ve been eating it for.

Also, note how I haven’t referred to body weight in the points above, as that is an outcome of irregularities in the above points.

You eat the right way to maintain your gut health, to keep your body alkaline and keep your body inflammation in check, to keep your immune system strong.

Losing weight is a by-product of a good lifestyle, which also allows to eat all the good things, without compromising on anything.

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Avoiding Questions

Avoiding Questions

Do you remember the school days when the teacher used to ask, if you have any questions and even if you did have one, you wouldn’t ask because of what others would think of you.

Well, those same people are carrying the torch on social media as well, who don’t open up thinking what would others think.

If you have something to say or share, go right ahead. Give yourself the permission and open up, ask if you want to ask, share if you want to share, you have the entire world in your hand (smartphone).

—x—

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