Selfish intentions. Status games. Zero-sum mindset. Three words to describe an average individual today. It may be called unfair to do so, some may disagree, some may feel hurt, but either now or before (if someone has gone through a process of change), either of these attributes or all has been a part of most individuals.
Whether it comes to one’s personal life or professional life, there’s a lot of ‘me, me, me’ in those scenarios. This shouldn’t be confused with one’s time for themselves, or rather the self-care time.
This ‘me, me, me’ is about getting the attention onto oneself. It’s about ensuring that they are at the center, and they are seeking validation out of whatever they’re doing.
In such a process, there’s hardly any attention on the receiving party (either one individual or as a group), there’s no room for discussion or feedback.
The individual who focuses just on themselves, want to focus on their goal over everyone else’s, they’re ready to let someone else drop off the ladder (they might be the one pulling them off too), just so they could climb higher up. In their mind, their loss means someone else’s win and if they have to win, means they’ll take extreme measures.
The cost of that win is isolation from everyone else. The cost is a victory with walking over others.
There’s another group of people too. ‘We, we, we’.
It’s not that they don’t want to win. They definitely want to. But, they also want to make sure that it’s not at the cost of anyone else. They don’t want to hurt anyone else in the process. They don’t want to walk over someone else. If someone is about to fall off the ladder, they might take a step down, just so they could save someone else and then reach the top of the ladder together.
The ‘we, we, we’ people are ones who understand that life is not zero-sum, they know that feeling good about their life and wanting to succeed isn’t a zero-sum game. They want to go ahead and also ensure they help others to do so. It’s a team effort game. They don’t care how they look or how they must behave. It’s lesser about the status, it’s more about humanity.
You’ll see less of these people around, but to find even one of those traits in someone else is a joyful thing, when you notice it (i.e. if you’re one with the similar traits too), or else the ‘me, me, me’ people aren’t getting along with the ‘we, we, we’ people.
It’s not about being in either of the brackets and then fighting with one other, but about walking together, solving problems together, less of who’s doing what, and more of what can we do together (less stress, less anxiety, lesser problems in this scenario).