The Unsatisfactory Mindset

The Unsatisfactory Mindset

All we want is more and more and more… As humans sought survival back in the day, all they wanted was food, clothes and shelter. As we evolved, came the concept of capitalism and marketing and stories, and everything got divided into those three sectors.

Even you if are having three meals every day, all you will see is one picture on a platform and you’ll get unsatisfied with what you’re having… This is how we have come to be.

Just one example doesn’t seem enough though… You might have just bought a piece of clothing and you’ll see a friend of yours buy something expensive from this “fancy” brand and you’ll become disinterested in what you’ve just bought instead of being excited to wear it.

When will it ever be enough? Never. Because capitalism and marketing always allow for someone to have an upper hand and for someone to be able to afford something and vice versa. Can we then blame the brands for doing this? Again, no… Because capitalism and they get to exploit that.

Here comes the unsatisfactory mindset. The unsatisfactory mindset that’s instilled within, because of which we are never satisfied with anything we buy, anything we do or experience… There’ll be comparisons and something better or worse and someone sharing their experiences on a public platform.

That mindset has also come up because of every single piece of marketing that you have heard and seen repetitively since childhood and then as a community, your peers fall for it and then talk about what’s better and what’s not. With every step that’s taken, that unsatisfactory mindset seeps in deeper than before until the point where you’re never satisfied with anything now.

To get beyond that, to reach a point of satisfaction, and for that mindset to change, what needs to change is the story you tell yourself and how that story affects how you love your life.

What is the story about?
– A story about gratitude, where you’re grateful for the things that you already have and for things that you get to do.
– A story about the hard work and efforts that you’ve put in to reach the point where you’re at right now.
– A story about how so much of everything is just marketing and media manipulation and how can you learn to not get affected by it.
– A story about being secure with yourself and what you stand for, which also means not comparing with others, and not caring for what they do.

To reach a point of satisfaction doesn’t mean not doing anything. It means to be satisfied with what you get to do, without caring for anything else. It takes practice to get rid of that story that’s seeped into put minds and how it’s become habitual to think that way and to act that way, but there’s another side to it that comes with a mindset of satisfaction.

Comparing values instead of things

Comparing values instead of things

Quite often, we compare our lives with other people – what they have achieved externally vs what we have achieved, what they own vs what we own, and that becomes the extent of our comparisons. Rarely do we compare our goals with theirs, or our levels of happiness with theirs.

If someone has a better car than you, according to societal standards, then you start becoming envious of what they have and it starts to create doubt and uncertainty about your own life in regards to not having the same type of car.

While the car is one example, day to day, external items such as that are compared between multiple individuals and that cycle keeps repeating… Not one individual is satisfied with what they have.

It is scientifically studied that comparison in a moderate amount is good for you as it gives you the push to “do more”, and “to achieve more”.

While that is up for debate… if the trend of comparison should continue, why not for something that would actually add something to your life. Everything external shall remain external without adding anything to your life.

Why not compare your values, which are the foundation of how you live, with others, instead of comparing external things with them?

Each individual lives with a certain set of values. Those values vary from person to person. Someone may be kinder than others, but others would lack kindness at all. Someone may be empathetic towards others, and others would have none. Each individual then, with a different set of values, lives their lives differently than others.

Each value represents something and plays a part in how your life is lived. One ingredient missing may lay out a different life path than with that ingredient (value).

So, instead of comparing who is buying what and comparing the “worth” of that item with yours, why not observe the values they live their life with and try to emulate that same value in your life as well?

If we’re actually sitting and comparing, why not compare something worthwhile (that would add something to your life)?

The thing about Variables

The thing about Variables

The thing about variables is that you never know which one to choose. What’s even more shocking about variables is that there are too many of them.

Statement 1: I want to lose weight

Variable 1: I can choose to start eating better food items, thus avoiding the food items that made me gain weight

Variable 2: I can eat the same things as I am now, but go extremely hard-core on my workout

Variable 3: I can choose to balance what I eat and how much workout I do, thereby doing both, and in moderation that has no sudden impact on my body.

Variable 4: I can simply walk on the same path as now and only wish to lose weight every few weeks/ months.

While I’m sure that there are more variables to this statement, these four top the scenario that we confront each time such a thought arises.

Variables don’t just occur in a micro scenario but happen in a macro scenario as well.

Statement 2: I want to do something about the climate.

Variable 1: You can first implement all the changes in your own lifestyle first before advocating bigger changes.

Variable 2: You can be an advocate about the climate but share that information whilst wasting water in the bathroom or using plastic items yourself.

Variable 3: You can practically showcase individualistic alternative changes that you’re applying yourself and inspire others to do the same because sharing problems is easier than sharing solutions.

Variable 4: You can go above and beyond the third variable and indicate legitimate changes that brands can apply publicly, thus showcasing real changes that can be done as well as applying pressure publicly.

Yet again, this particular example is massive to at least have a hundred and more variables to it.

When confronted with a scenario, we usually proceed with two default scenarios, one that we are programmed with (our mindset) that says what to do, and the second one, following what everyone else is doing.

At that moment, we don’t wait to think of the variables that arise along with the scenario, and only if we did, then we’d know that we can realistically approach with a much better variable than what we’d have chosen… and not just one, but a mixture of variables as well.

That’s the beauty of variables.

The urge to show-off

The urge to show-off

You have probably met someone who constantly shows off their materialistic wealth, don’t you? This individual would, even without a discussion on that topic, start sharing about what they have, what they own, what is their overall or a particular item’s financial worth, basically anything that has been accumulated on their own or because of their family wealth.

Where does this urge to show off originate from? There’s deep insecurity within to either feel recognized, feel important, or a need to feel superior to others. When you aren’t secure with your identity and your values and the path of life you’re walking on, one usually falls back on external items/ scenarios/ circumstances that give them the contentment of security which eventually becomes their identity.

This attached identity then becomes a crown that you have to show people so they know you, so they can see you in the room. They’ll introduce a topic and hope that someone’s interested because when one is, doors are opened for them to “connect” further and talk more about that “attached identity” which eventually is this materialistic wealth.

What they fail to recognize is reading the room and observing whether other people are secure with their identities and their ideas and their values and how obnoxious would they feel this particular individual is who constantly rambles on about the materialistic items/ experiences in their life, thus losing out on any connection possible.

Another peril of having this attached identity is the fragile ego that comes along with it. While there’s a need to be seen and to be recognized, what also ends up happening is when the importance isn’t shown at that point, or if someone has something “superior” to them or when they’re questioned… It ends up destroying their ego, with them feeling hurt and damaged because it is hurting and damaging this “identity” they’ve held onto.

//while it’s easier to pinpoint one individual in this process, arrows can also be pinpointed in their upbringing where the easiest path possible is laid down to walk upon and the slightest and the biggest of wants are fulfilled, leading to this sense of identity and approach of life.//

Any human wants to feel connected, but that comes with a strong set of beliefs and values, that makes you want to spend more time with them and not vice-versa. The bigger question is not about the materialistic things you own, but what have you attached your identity with and how secure you’re in your life because both things can be totally different and work out just fine.

Breaking down every aspect of our mindset

Breaking down every aspect of our mindset

Breaking down our mindset is such an exciting and interesting process that it cannot be explained in mere words. We are, from childhood, programmed to function in a particular way, every decision we make is based on how it would look in the society we live in. Not just the decisions, but even our thought process is programmed similarly, which is also why different human beings with different tastes may look similar when in a group because they approach life similarly.

What do we think? What’s the foundation of our thoughts and our ideation and our decision making? Why do we think in a certain way? Do we feel challenged or welcoming when approached with opposite thoughts than our own? The topic of one’s own mindset is so beautiful to dissect, but one should definitely do it on their own (with better learning and preparation).

When you break down every aspect of our mindset, we start to learn everything about our life, past, present, and future. How we have lived our life, the steps we have taken and the decisions we have made, the decisions that went wrong, and to actually break down the why behind it all breaks down our mindset into how did all of it come into the picture. Where did it all originate from? While now you may be functioning in a pattern, every pattern has had to originate from somewhere and then you kept on repeating it until it became a part of your identity.

To find out the origin means you find out your influence, whether it is from another person, from looking at the society as a whole or from your education system or from what you consume (content). Everything influences you somehow and eventually becomes a part of how you function.

Every bit compiled together then becomes your mindset, how you approach life, micro and macro. What path will you be walking, what will your approach be when a setback or difficulty arrives, how open are you towards your change and so much more can all be determined through your current mindset.

These are only a few aspects to pinpoint, but everything whether personal or professional, whether your ideation or execution, your direction, your communication, your relationships, your goals or vision or process of living life, everything comes from your mindset.

To then break down every aspect of it thus makes your process of living life much more beautiful than before, because now you understand the why behind everything, the foundation of it, you’re now in control and controlling your steps and actions based on how you have styled your mindset. (in comparison to an already programmed mindset which didn’t serve you to your benefit, or was programmed already for you)

The list of things that go wrong

The list of things that go wrong

When we compile a list of everything that has happened in our lives, the list would most likely be divided into two, a list of things that went right and a list of things that went wrong.

Such a list would apply to everyone, no one is averse to any side. There’s a likely scenario where the list of things that went wrong is much more than the other side. It’s not that one thing goes wrong and three go right. Usually, it’s the other way round, five things go wrong and one thing goes right, which would also explain why the list of wrongs is longer.

Every time something wrong happens, meaning the process or the outcome didn’t turn in our favour, there could be a planning issue, mindset issue, or execution issue, to pinpoint one would be difficult. Every time something goes wrong, it becomes a setback for us. We think about it long and hard, so we don’t repeat it and if we gather the chance to do it again, then do it right the next time.

While even if we physically don’t prepare such a list, internally we already know about such a list and everything that has gone wrong in our life. But here’s where it gets fascinating… when you unlock this perspective of looking at the list of things that have gone wrong you see your life differently. Even when five things have gone wrong, and they could have been really bad setbacks and may have emotionally and mentally set you down too, that one thing which has gone right has more weightage in your life that outweighs those five things that have gone wrong.

So if you ever prepare such a list and even when you find out that the list of things that have gone wrong is so much more than the things that have gone right in your life… instead of only seeing the quantity, also notice the quality because the smaller side (things that have gone right) have so much more power than the list of things that have gone wrong.

Your prioritisation and its impact on life

Your prioritisation and its impact on life

From time to time, there are always a bunch of things that we need/ want to do, not all of them are necessarily important and yet they end up on our list of things to do. Because the time is limited, i.e. 24 hours every day, you now have to prioritise things.

What should be noted is, that when we prioritise things, we don’t necessarily do them based on the importance of those tasks. We prioritise them based on the emotions we are feeling at that point in time. This also means that if we’re feeling lazy or we feel to be entertained, then we may end up doing something that is a complete waste of time, or rather the better way to explain this is… prioritising something that has no impact on our life over something that could have actually helped us grow or move forward in life (personally or professionally).

Quite often, our decisions are made in this flow of emotions. These emotions we do not control, but they do branch out of our mindset, which we can mould. Based on the hastiness of our decision making, this affects our tasks/ things to do, thus affecting the impact those things would have had on our lives and the path that our life would have taken and the opportunities we would have gotten at that point of time had we walked on that path.

Now, because of how we prioritise our tasks, we don’t take into account their impact on our life. We don’t think that long and why would we? We feed off our current emotions and we look at today. We don’t see the tomorrow and how prioritising something that is actually important may help our life immediately or somewhere down the line.

That perspective and that approach to decision making then help us prioritise everything in that order, not that fun is out of the way, but everything is then balanced from that lens… Keeping our vision and the goals of our life in check and ensuring that we are on the right path forward, or the path we want to be on… whilst we do a little bit of everything we want to do without giving up on anything.

A list of inner success

A list of inner success

The world is evolving in a way where it’s moulding us into people full of wants. To achieve those wants, we keep chasing and chasing, on a never-ending battle with time and health and fulfillments.

We achieve one want, and the list is ready to achieve another. We often make these lists of “external success” that we’d love to have under our portfolio. Whether those are physical goods and services, or digital, or a particular title or valuation, it could be a single thing or multiple things.

We revolve our life around those things and forget about everything else.

But, in this battle, we forget about the most important things that make our life what it – whether it is our physical or mental health, our connection with ourselves or with the higher power (higher power or the Universe or God, however you personally feel in this area), our relationships, our purpose/ service.

Some people do realize this and start walking on this path, they start learning, practicing, implementing and witnessing change in those areas.

Sometimes the areas you need to touch upon or the work that has to be done is humongous to even think of. Sometimes thinking of the future, we forget all the work that we have already done, the work that got us to this point.

As people create lists for their external wants, one should also create a list of inner success.

A list that says the minutest of things that you have achieved internally, the things that you have worked upon and improved at.

A list that depicts your progress on this path.

A list that you can look upon, which will give you a reality check of everything that you’ve done and give you a sense of progress.

A list that you can look at, when you feel you’ve done nothing, when you feel you aren’t doing enough, when you feel unlike yourself.

A list of inner success.

When you put labels on others but not yourself (Part 2)

When you put labels on others but not yourself (Part 2)

In the previous post, we identified the concept of labels and how we, humans, approach the concept on a mass level, we ourselves use it to divide us furthermore and instead of connecting, the disconnect is growing at a more rapid pace than before. (You can check out that post here: The Thing about Labels (Part 1)

While there are flaws with the concept and the approach and while that could be an individualistic point of view, here’s a common problem with the entire concept… People love to put labels on others, categorize them, opinionate about them, judge them, but don’t put labels on themselves.

Either because of arrogance or ego or more likely, a lack of self-awareness, a lot of people would be first in line when an individual has to be matched with a certain label, but aren’t able to recognize what labels they themselves fall under.

While some labels could be used to connect with others, while some labels could be used to understand others or help make better decisions, there are also labels that multiple people could fall under, which are also shortcomings or flaws, which bring the particular individual and anyone with that label down immediately, not from a comparative point of view, but just the approach itself. For example, someone may have a history of rage driving, or it could something worse, where it’s a problem in the real world and people fail to recognize that they fall under these labels.

How will an individual make their lives better, their decision-making better, their approach better, how will they evolve individually, if they fail to see the labels they themselves fall under? (especially the problematic ones, which may not only affect themselves but affect those around them)

Before making the stride to label others, maybe if we’re carrying on the approach of labelling people, maybe we should start with ourselves. Understand which labels you fall under, which ones you associate with, and which ones would you like to change. These labels need not be exterior only, but could be with respect to your goals, your values, your mindset… the concept of “labels” is for everything, even if you think there isn’t for any one particular thing.

The Thing about Labels (Part 1)

The Thing about Labels (Part 1)

As a society, we have got a habit of putting labels on people, it’s easier to categorize them this way, and moreover, it’s easier to judge them this way. Putting labels on others isn’t a new approach, it’s been done for centuries… It was the only way for people to become better than each other, and feel superior to others.

Whether it was from a kingdom’s approach back in the day, or from a religious standpoint… Later down the line it evolved into political labels, and henceforth to every tiny minuscule a label that can be differentiated.

Now, at the current point in time, it’s because of these labels that communities are formed, and it’s because of these labels that fights/ riots/debates happen. Whether from the economic standpoint, professional titles, which team/s you support, or what product/s you buy, there’s a label attached to every decision.

Those in control stay in power or gain bigger bags because it is easier for them to make decisions if they already know whom they are making it for, how that certain group thinks and what would entice them to follow their decisions. How else do you think a political party is going to win or one of these huge corporations is going to sell you their product or service?

But it’s not just them at fault, everyone has the same approach but just their reasons are different. People will find it easier to connect with someone if they have a similar label between themselves, but the vice-versa is true as well, because for some when they have labels at opposite ends under a particular umbrella, then there’s been some aggressive, extreme approaches as well.

The thing about labels is while at the mass level it may help to put people in groups or make them state their opinions clearly, it also divides people. While we have heard of opposites attract, it does not hold true when looked at from these labels’ points of view. Right from major political and religious labels, to how much one earns and what title they hold, where they live, what their goals are, every single topic in one’s life becomes a label and that becomes a differentiating factor as well.

Some recognize this approach and still continue to do it because they want to live their lives that way. For some, it’s something they just realized and don’t know what to do with that information. The question that should be asked is, how do you view other people and how do you want humanity to evolve further? That will help you form your approach further.

Modern Take

Modern Take

Right from human evolution, in terms of betterment of health and wellness, to the technological advancements, to a change in worldviews, so much has developed over time. And yet, majorly we still operate our lives based on the same rules and laws and social norms that were established tens and hundreds of years ago. We walk on the same path that others walked years ago, and because it worked for them then, we do the same now without thinking of the changes that have happened since then.

With everything that has changed and is changing, with the evolving opinions, with the uprise in knowledge intake, basically with so much information around, and with the advancements and developments happening, it is time that we form a modern take on most things about life and how we live it.

Sure, one individual can make their own decisions. But when we operate as a society, and when we walk ahead as a community, certain rules apply to all people, such as things to do and things not to do, and it is time that a modern take is applied to everything.

With the viewpoint of today, it sure would be challenging to go against those who have set these norms, especially with those generations around, but it is high time to think about how our generation is growing up, how our future is going to look and in what environment is our future generations going to grow up.

What kind of environment do we want to set for ourselves? How do we want our lives to look? As a society, what rules and regulations and laws and norms make us grow and which ones limit us?

Probably with debates and discussions and arguments, with stories and takeaways, there is a possibility of a new uprising where the modern rules start to apply to aspects of our life and how we live in this world. One where humans can grow and evolve, one where we not only make ourselves better, but those around us, and our environment too and a modern take on everything about life is definitely a positive start to that.

When you’re in the zone

When you’re in the zone

When you’re in the zone, there’s no time ticking, you have no idea of what’s happening in your environment, and there’s no noise disturbing you… you’re focused, you’re determined, and you’re mentally and physically giving it your all.

There are specific moments when you realize you’re in the zone, but you realize that after… That something should be really exciting, should really make you move, and you should feel passionate about it, in order to be in the zone.

But being in the zone is not a choice. It is something that happens automatically, the situation should be gripping enough and you shouldn’t feel forced. It cannot be planned, it cannot be predicted. You don’t wait to get in the zone, you proceed with your plans and your schedule, you carry on with your task/s, and there’s a possibility you hit that mark and you’re in the zone, and if that moment arrives, there’s no stopping you. With that rush of energy and focus, all thoughts and actions toward it… one should surely experience what it feels like to be in the zone.

Observations at every turn of Life

Observations at every turn of Life

We learn, we experiment, we try… But how often do we observe? Routines, habits, patterns, historical moments, when observed, you will find answers to which you haven’t even thought of the questions yet.

What does that mean? For one, our life is about routines and habits, basically a repetitive scenario, that happens over and over. It doesn’t mean our path is right because our current routine may be making our life stagnant or worse… but when you put on the observational lens, you’d notice other people’s routines and habits, what are they doing differently, and what can you implement in your life. This isn’t about comparing, but about learning. But this is just one example.

There are patterns behind everything, whether it is personal stuff, work stuff, worldviews, political views, technological developments, what’s happening in the present, or what will happen in the future. While the above example was a micro example of life, when you actually start observing everything, with an open mindset, then you’ll notice that just with observation how these patterns keep popping up and how they are so repetitive, whether when compared to the past or when compared to another sector.

Historical moments themselves teach us so much, and a few moments just keep repeating themselves, because no one is observing and learning from these moments. While that moment occurred, it left a mark that maybe you or someone else ends up repeating.

There’s a lack of observation happening at the micro and macro level, because of which we keep repeating the same things over and again, even if it’s of no benefit to us or worse, it causes more damage than you realize.

Just by opening up your mind, and carefully observing everything at every turn of life, there’s so much to learn, so much to understand, implement, and change, and try a bunch of things differently, in our personal lives and on a humane level as well.

When your plan backfires

When your plan backfires

Quite often than not, there’s something to be done in the future, minutes later, hours later, weeks, months or years later… and we make a plan that will get that something done. We jot down the plan, figure out what could go wrong, and what could go right, and accordingly plan our moves.

The thing about making these plans beforehand is that sometimes they backfire. You make any of these plans based on the information you already have and the estimation of what could go wrong is again based on the information you already have. But the plan could backfire for any number of reasons.

Right from the initiation to any of the steps in the middle or even when everything is executed to the point, the outcome could go against us, for any number of reasons the plan could backfire. There are things we can control and there are things we cannot, and usually what we cannot control dominates the moments, especially the ones we were highly dependent on.

But, at any given time, when the plan backfires, what can we do? When it doesn’t work out, usually, the immediate moments are filled with regret, irritation and frustration, among the other emotions that could pop up.

Depending on the priority of what was needed to be done, the lesser the priority, we can either play along with the outcome at hand or just let it go, and the higher the priority, and depending on how favourable the outcome is, we can either devise a fresh plan or divert from the outcome and play that to our favour.

Either way, when the plan backfires, even though the usual approach is the outburst of emotions, that of regret and frustration, they don’t solve anything. What solves it is how do you play the outcome in your favour and if that is not the right step forward, what’s the next viable step? We usually don’t realize this at that very moment, but only in hindsight.

Running on the Hamster Wheel

Running on the Hamster Wheel

Have you ever seen a hamster run on one of those wheels, where they’re constantly made to run for some experiment or something? Sometimes it’s a hamster, sometimes it’s a mouse, but you get the picture.

But as that hamster is being made to run on that wheel, without it being in control, the decision to do so is with someone else… Similarly, we’re running on such a wheel too, continuously, without being in control, and without being aware of it. Who’s running this experiment in our case?

Huge corporations and their corporate structure fuel this wheel, but what keeps the machine going is 10/20/50/100-year old social norms and structures, a mixture of which automatically places our lives on this wheel, at a certain stage in life and all we’ve got to do now is run.

Your choices will be limited, your decisions will be made by someone else, you have to follow rules set by someone else, and what you’ve to do next has also been decided. The only difference is “who does it better”. So now we run more, in order to “get more”, so “we can be better”. But eventually, all we’re doing is running on this hamster wheel, with no consciousness, no awareness, no freedom, and someone else is setting the speed of the machine for us (as per their wishlist).

Is this an optimistic post? Will this post tell you how to get rid of this wheel or how to stop running? Will reading this motivate you to get off the wheel? Not at all.

The wheel has been running for too long, putting each individual in different circumstances in their lives, eventually in a position where they cannot avoid running on this cycle. But, at least, now you can be aware of it.

Letting the day go by

Letting the day go by

Our day is, by ourselves, set in a way where every day looks the same, there are tasks to do in certain areas of our lives, and the structure of the day is built by the routine that we follow each day. So, it’s more than likely that around 80-90% of the day looks the same, so at the end of the week, when you look back, you might probably not remember each day, but sum up rememberable moments/ experiences from the week, and not in chronological order.

So when you actually deep dive into this process, and understand how our life works, and thus understand the importance of mindset, habit-building, goal-setting, vision-building, relationship-making, and the roles each of those play in our lives, you also realize how without the understanding of that, so many of our days just go by without us even realizing it.

Sure, you’re following your routine, you’re completing your tasks, and you’re taking time for relaxation/ leisure, but the important question is, at this point in time, where is your life leading towards? Not just from an outcome perspective, but even from a process point of view… Is your routine helping you to grow and evolve? Are your tasks helping you progress in life? What exactly is being ticked off here?

Once we start running on this hamster cycle, we continue running, without even checking or questioning why are we running, in which direction are we running, and are we enjoying running or not? Now, metaphorically, ask these same questions in relation to your life.

If you’re following a routine, and if it’s not helping you progress, or make yourself improve, in any area of life, then instead of the days passing by, maybe the better option is to stop… Understand what can be different and what can be better, and start a new routine. With such an approach, instead of the days passing by, every day could actually lead to something more, without you consciously putting any effort into it day after day.

Every area of life needs to looked after, everything we do should be questioned… Because we feel we are in control, but more often than not, we are not. We just let the days pass by, and we don’t even realize it. So the better approach is to ask, to question yourself, and to know whether your days are going by or are you one step ahead?

The process of change looks like this

The process of change looks like this

Our everyday life is like a wheel rolling, that just keeps on rolling, with the same type of emotions and thoughts and actions, every day like a routine. Only when there’s an issue with the wheel, do we then check what’s wrong and then try to repair it.

But, what if you don’t want to wait till the wheel goes bad? What if you realize that the wheel isn’t of good quality, and you want to reinvent the wheel, so you run more smoothly than before…

That process of reinventing the wheel looks something like this:
A. Gain new knowledge
Your current operating is based on the knowledge that you already have, and it is producing the results that you currently see. In order to reinvent, you must first gain new knowledge, only then will you be able to compare the current and the new process; only then will you be able to understand the difference and execute the latter process in a new way.

B. Understand and acknowledge the mistakes made
Once you have attained this knowledge, then you look back… You notice what’s already done, the outcome of it, and with the new information, you also realize what could’ve been done differently and what shouldn’t have been done at all. Therein comes the most important step, to acknowledge the mistakes made, to accept them, because only then can you proceed to the next step.

C. Ask yourself why do you want to change
Updated with knowledge, mistakes acknowledged… Now, why do you want to reinvent? What’s the reason behind it? What’s the difference that you want to feel? With self-awareness, you’ll be able to answer the why, and that will become the fuel for the path that comes after.

D. Set a new path
Your why will become your fuel, but you must also address the how – the new path that will reinvent the wheel. That path is filled with steps and backups, the macro vision that is broken down into the smallest of steps, that is then attainable within the approachable time limits set by you (a process that motivates some, otherwise the why is strong enough for one to enjoy the process).

The process of change is easy to break it down into four steps, but a process that comes with strong determination and patience; one that requires your time and also assures that you will certainly enjoy the other side of it much more than how the wheel was currently running.

Do you actually learn anything from the internet?

Do you actually learn anything from the internet?

Averagely, users’ screentime on their smartphones varies between a good TWO to somewhere around SIX hours and for some, even more, and for some, less than that. Another stat says that the top used applications during this screentime are the social media platforms, so it also shows how much control these platforms have over their users.

Day after day, they introduce new features and tools that would hook the users for more time on their individual platforms. Everyone wants more attention and now these companies will fight with each other in order to get more screentime, which results in more rewards for their creators so they can create more, thus the consumers consuming more… and all this with newer and newer tools so the end creator/ consumers feel the need to try out what’s new and keep that cycle going. (there’s a whole psychological play out here, but today’s topic is more in regard to the consumers and not the play)

Coming to the consumers and the average screen time and smartphone usage, it’s obvious at this stage that a large amount of content is being consumed every minute, every hour and every day. But the question that should be asked, and quite an important one is, do you actually learn anything from the internet?

With the content durations being reduced and the quantity of content being consumed every minute increasing, people’s attention spans are also reducing, they now want to consume more, get hit by more emotions, and don’t want to waste even fifteen seconds on anything that doesn’t give the hit.

At that pace, let alone learning, do you actually remember what you consume on the internet? With everything that we can learn and then use that learning to polish our skillset, gain more experience, grow and evolve, make the necessary changes in our life, if not for any of it, then what’s the point of consuming anything?

Some may say entertainment, well if you’re awake for 16 hours in a day and 6 of those hours are spent on your smartphone, the question that arises is how much entertainment do you even need? The second question is, when does the realization of the time distribution of your day take place?

Instead of letting the platforms take us for granted, instead of letting the algorithm play us, why not take control of this huge reservoir of value that we, fortunately, have access to (the internet) and actually use it to our benefit? For once, we can actually learn something from the internet and remember it too.

When you find the content relatable

When you find the content relatable

We consume so much content on the internet today, in every form, there could be… How many times do you come across a content piece and find it extremely relatable?

Sometimes the content could be entertaining, or educational, could be about life, relationships, health, well-being, anything… When it’s entertaining, we usually look back to a previous moment of life and find it nostalgic. When it’s educational, we look back at our life and wonder either with joy or with heavy shoulders how it relates to us.

At such times, it is not you who is relating with the creator or the author, because their job is to observe such moments, deep dive into them, and share them as learnings/ advice etc so people can learn and understand from them. No, what you’re relating it with is your own life… What exactly is that content piece telling you and what part/ aspect/ phase of your life are you relating it with?

That’s the question that should be asked… And instead of simply liking it or saving it for later, what should be done is an actual introspection mixed with what you need to do with that information now, depending on how it hits you (as a pat on the back or a punch in the face).

The list of things you’re owed

The list of things you’re owed

Many a time, quite frequently actually, people feel, in various aspects and phases of their lives, that they’re owed something. Owed not in return for something, but just generically they’re owed something that needs to be given to them.

In quite a few scenarios, these people become quite demanding to receive something, to an extent where they’d tear down the other individual if they don’t give in. Again, this is not a transaction, but an expectation that is taking place. Bring into the picture, entitlement, mixed with a lack of accountability, and now it’s easy to put the blame on someone else, it’s easy to not put in the work yourself, and even easier to stay in this dreamed state of expectations. It’s always easy to demand and get by force than to wait patiently and work for it and then get the outcome from the process you’ve worked towards.

In reality, unless a transaction is taking place, which is agreed upon, there’s no logic or an arising situation that states that someone is owed something from someone. But, the problem originates with this sense of entitlement that is rooted so deep within oneself, that one, it’s difficult to acknowledge, two, it’s difficult to change, and three, the individual becomes even more defensive when it’s pointed out.

Because an individual did something once, now there’s an expected demand that the action would be repeated. Because an individual has something, now there’s a demanding framework that their ‘something’ needs to be shared.

While, in reality, the evolving mindset, one which speaks of growth and changes towards a better you, says that no one owes you anything. There shouldn’t be an expectation in the first place, thus no disappointment either. You get what you work for, for what your ask is, where your process has led you to, and everything else that comes in is after. A healthier way of living that doesn’t put doubt and clouded judgements in your mind and doesn’t take away your present to an illusioned reality.

The Ideation Rust

The Ideation Rust

The thing about ideas is that they never pop up randomly, unless… That’s a topic for another day. Today, we focus on the ideation rust and for that, we have to first understand the routine behind it.

You have to ideate something and you start thinking about it… Consciously you remember approximately 20-30% of what’s stored in your brain, thus the subconscious takes over… in the background. The brain knows the order you’ve given it and it’s processing all the information it has, connecting the dots and delivering new information to you that you’ll then skim through to find your next idea. (the idea we talk about could be for anything, but let’s understand it generically first)

Now, for some who have to ideate regularly, maybe daily, maybe once every week, for them it’s a routine where they’re actively or passively always focusing on that next idea – first, getting rid of the bad ones, and hopefully finding that good one in time.

The advantage of a routine is its automatic function, you don’t have to think twice about it, it just happens. The same goes for the ideation process too, especially for whom it’s a constant continuous process.

Now imagine, for some reason, you get a break in this process. If you stop exercising for a week, or a month, it’ll take you a while to get your body rolling again for whatever exercise you’re doing. When this break happens here, it’s the ideation rust. For whatever reason, that continuous automatic process got paused, which will now cause barriers the next time you get that routine going again. The rust has caught on and the ideas won’t flow by as easily as before.

The same amount of effort that you would physically put in to get your workout routine back in motion is something similar to what one would have to do here too, only this time with their brains. The better option to stay away from the ideation rust is to always keep some time for that process, every day, irrespective of its actual requirement in the now.

What can you do to mentally relax?

What can you do to mentally relax?

It’s a normal workday (even the non-workdays for that matter, just imagine a normal day), you are looking outside the window trying to take a breather and just when you wanted to relax (and not necessarily in a relaxing situation, but other times too), you notice these barrage of thoughts running in your mind, from one topic to another… That chatter is non-stop and even when you’re trying to relax physically, that same choice isn’t available to you mentally.

From random thoughts to looking back at your day or your life to the mistakes you’ve made, the to-do items for the day and henceforth, or even imagining the future of perfect choices made, the range of thoughts running in your mind could be endless.

It isn’t said plainly when there are approximately sixty thousand plus thousands in your head on a daily average. Talk about non-stop!

When do you get the break? When are you able to mentally relax? Is a physical vacation, being on a beach or the mountains, a solution to that? While the answer to the first two questions is solvable or rather, practicable with the solution at hand, the answer to the third question is a definite no.

Irrespective of whether that voice in your head is a supportive one or not, and whether your perspective is healthy or not, the chatter continues at its pace.

But, there are a few things that can be done to limit its supply, to direct the flow, to have the ability to mentally relax for a while…

1. For many, journaling has been one that has made a fair share of impact – because it gives you a real glimpse of your life and not the what-ifs or the imagined scenarios that run through your head, which also lose its grip when the real picture can be read on that paper.

2. The most powerful (proven) tool is meditation – when you meditate for a period of time, not keeping it short to 5 or 10 minutes but more, deeper, and when the mind and body align in that deep meditative state, is when you feel so calm and so peaceful, is also when you truly feel the physical and mental relaxation altogether and a reduction in that chatter.

3. Breath-work has also been another proven technique that keeps you in check, keeps you present, brings you back to staying centered when in a state of stress, anxiousness, frustration, lost thoughts etc.

4. Art has various forms, but the common factor remains the same – when focused and in a state of flow, you forget everything when you’re indulged in that process and you forget about the mental chatter and it’s just you and your art form.

5. While there could be tiny tidbits here and there that could work for a minute, another one that makes the list are nature walks – conscious nature walks. Nature, with the trees around, birds chirping, sky visible, you walking around gives you a vibe where you feel this is everything, and everything else becomes secondary, including the non-stop mental chatter.

While the brain’s function is to have more thoughts, you cannot stop that process – what you can do is direct its flow, direct its quality, and in moments, do things that are not only beneficial to your mind and body, but also give you a break from that chatter like the things listed above.

The core of your routine and its longevity

The core of your routine and its longevity

When you look at your life and every aspect of it, broken down by how much you have lived, you’d notice it’s nothing but a set of habits (in every area of life) that is formed into a daily routine.

Sometimes these habits are chosen and designed by you, instiling a routine that you deem fit for yourself, and other times you’re moulded into a routine by external factors (one that isn’t in your control).

Either way, this particular routine is done on a daily basis, until one specific event is scheduled for a particular day that allows you to break away from it, and then get back to it the very next day.

There are a lot of “live in the moment” and “enjoy now” quotes on the internet, but ultimately those decide micro-moments of your life… Not the entirety of life itself.

As a whole package, when you look at living an average of 90 years of life, how do you want that life to look and how much should be affected by external factors or not, depends on the core of your routine and how you have designed it. Because that’s the subconscious taking over, those decisions are ones you aren’t taking every day… This means your focus is elsewhere, and once your routine is set, your decision-making skills, instead of being used for what to do with your day, can be used for more important purposes, thus the core of the routine being important.

What does the core mean?
There’s a meaning behind every habit, and what is it being led to. For example, the habit of having one or three meals a day is a part of your routine that is a part of your health and wellness. So is choosing to add meditation practices or breathing exercises to your routine. There’s a reason behind doing everything and doing it daily too.

Once you understand the type of life you want to live, you break it down to the point you can design how your day looks like, in which areas of your life do you want to divide your attention, hence being able to design your habits as well, resulting in a routine that would have longevity, since it has your blessing filled with purpose.

When you have designed your life, with purpose and blessing, then even in the low days, you know what to do, even in the bad days, you know what to do, and generally, you don’t need to be run by motivation or hype or need any external help to carry on with your routine.

Your life – your thought-process style, your voice in the head, your communication skills, your values, your reason behind agreeing or disagreeing with something, your perspective, your decision-making – everything is a habit and unknowingly before, but knowingly now you have the power to design a routine with longevity that would shape your life the way you want it to.

When we are born

When we are born

When we are born, we are
– free
– open-minded
– no boundaries or limitations to anything
– looking at everyone as the same
– full of love and joy
– with not an ounce of hate or negativity or judgments
– running around with others
– where even the sky is not the limit
– and the ground can’t keep you still
– asking questions at every second of life
– curious about everything and anything
– helping others without a second’s thought

none of it has to go away when you turn into an adult, neither should any of these traits differentiate between being a child and being an adult.

Then ask yourself, what exactly is happening around you, that in a few years of living life, everything changes. What environment is being formed at home, school, college, office, etc., what norms are being set by the society, what standards are being set by those “in power” and how much media manipulation happens that everything changes from being born to turning into an adult?

Reflection is the one true marker

Reflection is the one true marker

I want to change but I don’t know what to change or how important is that change… Conscious Change is an important element of growth in the right direction because you know what has to be done, why, and what was happening before this change.

But the same question arises yet again… How much do I have to learn and experience new things, let others point out my mistakes, or wait to enter this dark phase in my life to realize that change is needed?

Reflection is the one true marker for that entire process.

To reflect upon your life, the life you have lived, the elements you liked and disliked, the life you want to live and why, what path are you currently walking on and where does it lead you, what problems are you having and what’s the origin of these problems, reflection solves all of that.

When you reflect means you’re taking a deep dive into these topics of your life, with an open mindset to accept what you’ll see and to embrace that side of you, because with embracing comes acceptance and with acceptance comes the willingness to change.

Refection is a powerful force, but rarely does anyone want to reflect, why? Why change things when everything’s going all right in a very generic scenario? Why put in the work when the current input and output is letting you manage by the next day?

While it may sound harsh, why not reflect upon that very same question and wonder whether you’ve done that, at some point in your life, towards a particular aspect of your life and with respect to change.

Reflection also means asking the tough questions, one that will show you a harsher reality than the mirage created in the minds… to then break everything brick by brick, you’ll soon see the reality of it all and then more questions start coming in… That’s also where true learning begins and you experience what you haven’t experienced before, the lens from which you view the world currently will change too.

Reflection is that one true marker, for all things within and the world, if you’re ready to walk down that path.

Live with your Mistakes or hit the Redo button?

Live with your Mistakes or hit the Redo button?

Imagine there’s a redo button, that you can hit anytime you want. You had two choices, you chose one and it turned out to be a mistake. Press that redo button and you go back in time, but you also forget everything you have done until now (so you don’t have any of your learnings too)… it means when you hit that redo button, you go back to those two choices again, not knowing which is the right one and with 50/50 odds that you may choose the wrong one again.

But the thing about odds and choices is, life isn’t about just that one choice. It’s about a series of choices, made one after the other, and irrespective of which were the right ones and which weren’t, our life is uniquely stitched together mixing all of those decisions taken… Maybe there was a wrong choice made, but the next right one was made only because of that.

With every choice made, comes either the optimum outcome or a mistake, with a mistake comes learning and experience, and also the bandwidth to make a better decision next time.

Now there are two choices, to live with your mistakes, which are also learnings in disguise, which also help you to make better decisions next time, or to hit that redo button (in theory) and go back in time, discarding all your learnings and experience, with a hope to make better decisions or with the hope that the odds are in your favour this time.

When such a perspective of looking at our mistakes is truly unlocked, is when we can start looking at them differently, is also when we can be more open-minded and free while making our decisions henceforth, and also hope to do better next time, instead of carrying the burden of the previous decision made.

Knowingly made mistakes

Knowingly made mistakes

Who doesn’t make mistakes? We all make them, from time to time. There are two types of mistakes made though, smaller ones that cause us to adapt towards it and huge ones that cause a massive shift to our lives.

But the smaller and huge ones are quantitative that is defined after they’re made, the real two types are the ones made knowingly and unknowingly.

The mistakes made unknowingly are ones that you haven’t experienced yet and thus they’re being made. They are more likely to be lessons that teach you to not do them again.

The whole point of a mistake is that you aren’t aware of something, and now you are. So with the next try, you’ll do better.

But the knowingly made mistakes are the ones that hurt the most. Those are ones that you may have experienced before or maybe you have not, but you definitely have the knowledge of those. That means you have the skillset to not make those choices the outcome of which you already know.

But, yet, in the heat of the moment, or because of habitual decision-making with regards to a pattern of choices, you decide to do something that turns out to be a mistake, but in a macro perspective, you know where that leads you to. Thus, ‘knowingly made’ mistakes.

Is it resolvable? In theory, yes. Instead of jumping to decisions, maybe taking a step back with a lighter head will help us not to make those choices that will eventually turn into mistakes.

But that is something that has to be programmed within, with practice. Until then, these knowingly made mistakes keep causing the hurt and regret, making that choice made difficult to digest.

One Problem/Many Solutions – Many Problem/One Solution

One Problem/Many Solutions – Many Problem/One Solution

Problems exist in each of our lives, different problems for everyone, at different levels, affecting them differently – but there’s no one without problems, for sure. These problems could be with regards to your personal/ professional lives, relationships, goals, rituals, there could one major problem, one in every phase of life or even multiple in each phase of life – just different for all.

But, with the surety of a problem existing in each person’s life, there’s an equal or a greater surety of there being a solution too. Some solutions are visible right in front of us, which means fixable problems, and there are those problems to which you haven’t figured out the solution yet.

Here’s the catch… there could be multiple solutions to a single problem and/ or there could be one solution to all your problems (usually these two scenarios highlight the sector).

To a single problem, common to all or unique just to yourself, there could be multiple solutions that may have worked for others and could work the same for you, there’s going to be a lot of trial and error with what works and what doesn’t though. One solution may not work the next time the same problem arises, thus the multiple solutions; different things may work for the same problem.

The latter is one of more significance because when you discover it, it’s like finding a key to a treasure chest. Having one solution to multiple problems! For example, you could be having health issues, time management issues, mental stress, focus issues, lacking in the output of your potential, and more on similar lines but the solution could be fixing your lifestyle, which then brings a domino effect solution to all your problems.

In the latter scenario, it takes a lot of humility to acknowledge all of your problems, and then look at them from a macro perspective, figuring out where you’re going wrong and what can be done to walk on the optimum path.

Finding these solutions in both of the scenarios is a process… If all problem-solving was easy, no one would have any problems, especially the long-lasting ones. But the persistence to solve it and the consistency to keep going, even if the solution isn’t the right one to crack it, the mixture of both is usually the recipe for the problem-solving path, irrespective of which of the two scenarios match for you.

But, looking at these two scenarios gives quite a heads-up to the situation you’re in and how to approach it – multiple solutions to one problem and one solution to multiple problems.

The Non-stop Mental Chatter

The Non-stop Mental Chatter

It’s a normal workday (even the non-workdays for that matter, just imagine a normal day), you are looking outside the window trying to take a breather and just when you wanted to relax (and not necessarily in a relaxing situation, but other times too), you notice these barrage of thoughts running in your mind, from one topic to another… That chatter is non-stop and even when you’re trying to relax physically, that same choice isn’t available to you mentally.

From random thoughts to looking back at your day or your life to the mistakes you’ve made, the to-do items for the day and henceforth, or even imagining the future of perfect choices made, the range of thoughts running in your mind could be endless.

It isn’t said plainly when there are approximately sixty thousand plus thousands in your head on a daily average. Talk about non-stop!

When do you get the break? When are you able to mentally relax? Is a physical vacation, being on a beach or the mountains, a solution to that? While the answer to the first two questions is solvable or rather, practicable with the solution at hand, the answer to the third question is a definite no.

Irrespective of whether that voice in your head is a supportive one or not, and whether your perspective is healthy or not, the chatter continues at its pace.

But, there are a few things that can be done to limit its supply, to direct the flow, to have the ability to mentally relax for a while…

1. For many, journaling has been one that has made a fair share of impact – because it gives you a real glimpse of your life and not the what-ifs or the imagined scenarios that run through your head, which also lose its grip when the real picture can be read on that paper.

2. The most powerful (proven) tool is meditation – when you meditate for a period of time, not keeping it short to 5 or 10 minutes but more, deeper, and when the mind and body align in that deep meditative state, is when you feel so calm and so peaceful, is also when you truly feel the physical and mental relaxation altogether and a reduction in that chatter.

3. Breath-work has also been another proven technique that keeps you in check, keeps you present, brings you back to staying centered when in a state of stress, anxiousness, frustration, lost thoughts etc.

4. Art has various forms, but the common factor remains the same – when focused and in a state of flow, you forget everything when you’re indulged in that process and you forget about the mental chatter and it’s just you and your art form.

5. While there could be tiny tidbits here and there that could work for a minute, another one that makes the list are nature walks – conscious nature walks. Nature, with the trees around, birds chirping, sky visible, you walking around gives you a vibe where you feel this is everything, and everything else becomes secondary, including the non-stop mental chatter.

While the brain’s function is to have more thoughts, you cannot stop that process – what you can do is direct its flow, direct its quality, and in moments, do things that are not only beneficial to your mind and body, but also give you a break from that chatter like the things listed above.

The one thing that is not said about diets

The one thing that is not said about diets

The diet culture has been trending for a while, with everyone who suddenly becomes conscious about their weight or its consequences or maybe their appearances or possibly another factor with regards to health now wanting to implement some kind of a diet to their life.

These diets change with the trends, sometimes focusing on proteins, sometimes on fats, and other times on carbs. Sometimes telling you to eat less, and sometimes not at all… You never know, what’s going to come up next.

But, all said and done, when you look back at hundreds of years, and with everything that the industrial revolution changed, the bottom baseline remains the same – you need to understand the ingredients that you’re putting in your body.

With that being the holy truth of the industry, there are a few things that people who follow diets don’t realize or aren’t told in the first place…

1. It’s less about what you’re told to eat, but more about the habits around your food.
– What are your meal timings?
– What is the gap between the two meals?
– How much time before your sleep do you have your dinner?
– What is the first thing you’re consuming after waking up with an empty stomach?
– What is the portion size of your meals?
– What is your mental approach towards the food that you eat – are you glad about your meal choices? (because there’s a psychological connection here)
– Do you smoke or drink alcohol or soda or aerated drinks – while that is your personal choice, let’s not forget that all of everything has an effect on your mind and body too.

2. Instead of limiting your foods based on proteins, carbs, and fats – try understanding the ingredients that go in a certain food, and how beneficial or not those ingredients are for your body.

Hot Tip: Avoid processed foods in general and especially those that are sold under the umbrella of “healthy foods”

3. As important as your ingredients are and your portion sizes and your meal timings, another important aspect is how you consume your meal and what state of the mind are you in.
There’s a huge psychological connection between the emotions you’re feeling while you consume your meals… So it’s thereby important that you sit peacefully without any disturbances and put your entire focus on your meals.

4. While this is sometimes overlooked is, how fast or slow do you consume your meals? Because that has an impact on your digestive process, which is thus going to affect your entire body processes and in turn impact your mental state as well.

5. Lastly, the minute habits make a difference as well. How much water do you drink generally, when do you consume water during your meals, are you physically active during the day, do you immediately sit after your meals or walk around for a bit…

When it comes to our mind and body, our food choices and habits and how everything affects one another, there’s so much to know and understand and implement…

But who’s focusing on any of it, and who’s even informing you about it? The companies are focused on how to make you their customers and with enough fear-driven and desire-driven marketing, customers get entangled into it all.

Expecting other people to think like you

Expecting other people to think like you

All of us, as individuals, have a specific type of thought process. We agree with some on particular points, but we disagree with the same people on other points too. On the points that match, communities get formed. On the points that don’t, is when debates, shouting, abusing, trolling happens.

No two thought processes are the same. And yet, when we have a certain perspective on something, we get annoyed when someone else doesn’t think the same way as ourselves. There’s an entitled expectation that you’re right and other people must or should be having the same thought process as you.

Why the expectation?
Simply because we, as humans, don’t know how to react or respond when others don’t think the same way as you.

The option of two minds simply agreeing to the same point of view sounds much greater than the other option, and it becomes easier to bond and easier to connect.

Everyone has different experiences, different learnings, and that leads to a different point of view and different perspectives, and thus, different thought processes too.

Once that understanding comes in, and once we learn how to proceed when the other individual/s have a different stand than yours, is what leads to healthy and better conversations, bonds and communities.

How can we accept the opposing point of view?
Firstly, by knowing that one cannot be always right. Your opinion originates from somewhere, could be organic or manipulated, and the same goes for the other person too. So there’s also a possibility that both the individuals aren’t right on a certain topic.

This leads to the second point, you have to listen. Only by listening and not responding can you understand the origin of the other individuals’ point of view. Once you listen, then you can take a stand of how you want to respond… This particular point is important because most people start opposing or disagreeing after listening to the headline statement without getting into the context of it.

Thirdly and lastly, we are all humans and we are all different. What makes us unique are our differences, and if there aren’t any differences, then there would be no exciting conversations or experiences.

When a conversation starts, with such a universal point of view, then you know, one you aren’t having the expectation of someone else to think like you, plus you’re ready for a good to-and-fro conversation on anything.

Recollecting your day vs Summarizing it

Recollecting your day vs Summarizing it

24 hours in a day. 1440 minutes. Every moment of the day is filled with a thought or an action… Active thoughts or background thoughts, actions in the moment or habitual rituals, you snap your finger and you’d realize the day has already ended.

If at the end of the day, you’re asked to recollect your day, would be able to do it? Not just summarizing it, but the actual recollection of every minute of it.

So much of our day, every day, is divided into our conscious and subconscious moments. In multiple phases, throughout the day, we let the subconscious take over whilst we take the back seat… And because of our habitual actions and reactions, everything that is done on a daily basis is now happening automatically.

So many times, when we sit to recollect our day, we’d end up summarizing our day into good or bad, or just by looking at our to-do lists, because of our conscious absence.

When you can actually recollect everything, means you are actually present in the moment, you’re choosing everything that you do and you aren’t dependent on your subconscious or your habits to guide you through whatever you were doing.

That is the difference between recollecting your day and summarizing it. That process isn’t easy, but it’s a start to take back the control of your life, instead of relying on actions that started out one day and are now turned into habitual rituals.

What is the reality of your life?

What is the reality of your life?

We have two halves to our life – a conscious side and a subconscious side. To simply their roles, the subconscious is the voice in your head, your thoughts, your habits, your reflexes. The conscious is what you choose to do when you’re in the moment – expressions, actions, words (which is in turn still linked to your subconscious though).

With the modern evolution – which includes smartphones, content, and the internet – we are rarely conscious anymore. Between the chaos of running after tasks (personal + professional), we constantly fill all our time gaps with something or the other.

Throughout all this, our subconscious mind takes over with our habits that we are doing, all the thoughts that are still running in the background, sometimes conversations that are happening but you aren’t consciously present. There are a lot of scenarios during the day when our subconscious has taken over.

Sometimes with awareness, or sometimes randomly, you are present in the moment, aware of everything that’s going on around you, present with your thoughts, present with your actions. But those are also rare occasions.

How do you know? Try summing up every minute of your day, at the end before you sleep… And you’ll realize how much of it can you consciously recollect and how much do you just summarize.

But it also brings to light, the scenario of our real life. What is the reality of our life?

That reality lies in all of these automated choices that we make – every micro and macro habit that we have and do – how we sit, how we converse, how we walk, with careful observation of every second of our lives, you’ll be able to break down the thousands of habits that fall under our subconscious.

That is our reality. Every time we aren’t mindfully present, our subconscious has taken over. That subconscious runs our life.

So the quality of thoughts running in the background, the habits that you have, the routine that you have, the actions that you execute, the voice in your head, everything was designed day-by-day until it became an automatic reaction.

But, on a brighter note, we have the ability to design all of it. To sit with each and every element of our life, we have the ability to change everything – so when the automatic happens, by default, you’re already aware that what happens is something that was chosen by you and not something that has happened because of an exterior source (outside associative behaviour, societal norms, peer pressure and actions, etc).

“We really did have everything, didn’t we?” #DontLookUp

“We really did have everything, didn’t we?” #DontLookUp

The thing about films is, there’s always something to learn, sometimes through the storyline, or sometimes through a particular character’s performance. Then that film is also serving a higher purpose than just entertaining you because eventually, you’re able to takeaway something from it.

Such an instance happened with the film, Don’t Look Up, a satirical film on Netflix, directed by Adam McKay, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Meryl Streep, Jonah Hill. The official synopsis reads: Two low-level astronomers must go on a giant media tour to warn mankind of an approaching comet that will destroy planet Earth. (Check out my review of the film here: https://rth24blog.wordpress.com/2021/12/25/rthreviews-dont-look-up/)

There’s quite an important line in the film, as said by Leonardo DiCaprio’s character Randall Mindy, “We really did have everything, didn’t we? I mean, when you think about it.”

P. S. The quote is spoiler-free, there’s no way for it to spoil anything from the film.

But that one line speaks volumes. That dialogue comes at an important point in the film, but its takeaway is such that we can realize it in our own lives as well.

We are living our lives running around, chasing more wants day by day sometimes confusing them for our needs, putting in more time and more effort just to fulfill those wants and to then eventually “be happy”.

The world is evolving, and with it, so is capitalism and media manipulation. Now there’s so much advertising that’s thrown at you, with a base of relatability, concern, growth, etc. In all of that madness, comes along status. Because humans will achieve everything, and yet not be content if someone else has “more”.

So in this chaos of achieving status, mixed with advertising and capitalism, and media manipulation, the individual out there, thinking “I’m making all the decisions” is now wanting more than ever. That individual is putting it all, physically and mentally, to get more.

And in that race, they forget, or rather at some point in their own life, they’ll realize, “We really did have everything, didn’t we? I mean, when you think about it.”

But, would that realization then come too late?

Our thoughts root from 5 categories

Our thoughts root from 5 categories

All our thoughts root from somewhere. There’s an origin to everything, and that applies to our thoughts as well.

Right from the moment we are born, we are collecting information (now we may not remember everything is not of concern). These origins break down into 5 categories:

– Through associations (acquiring information from the immediate and exterior environment),

– through the social constructs (how the society functions to fit in or the set of steps that have been embedded for generations),

– through the biases (the multiple types of lens that the society has continued for generations through which they perceive/ assign people to a certain trait/ characteristic through which they can be judged easily),

– through the traditions and rituals (whether the intent behind those is good or not, and whether they have a good outcome or not is again a different issue, but they’re blindly followed for the sake of “tradition” becomes the issue),

– through the rules and laws (created by a set of humans who came to a consensus regarding the act of another human/s. Again carried through for years, without asking questions, or without updating them with how the kind currently function),

Through all of these things and more, our thinking gets molded in a certain manner, so much so that the majority of people start thinking the same way or rather approach most things about life the same way.

Best, Optimum and Worst Scenarios

Best, Optimum and Worst Scenarios

Every scenario in life has three possible outcomes: the best scenario, the optimum scenario, and the worst scenario.

These scenarios range from the most macro things in life: work, relationships, health to the most micro things in life: waking up in the morning, eating food on time, having a discussion/ argument with someone, meeting a deadline, etc.

Before you take on anything, there’s always a visualized scenario that takes place in your head, those visuals show you the best possible outcome of that particular scenario (that’s about to take place).

Whether that best possible scenario takes place or not is a different issue altogether, but right at the start, that’s what pops up in your head.

Now, as the process begins, you never know what’s going to happen, how much is in your control, and how much you’d have to adapt. That means, in reality, the outcome could go from the best possible scenario to the worst possible scenario.

Usually, when something like that happens, most people go haywire; unable to understand how to proceed, they aren’t able to process their emotions, nor their next steps.

As much as, in most of those visualized scenarios, the best possible scenarios may look the best, and the worst possible scenarios are those you don’t want to think of, especially at the beginning of the process… That leaves you with the optimum scenario.

The best possible scenario leaves you pumped up, and simultaneously, you avoid the thought of the worst possible scenario. But, said that thinking of the optimum scenario could actually be the best option for you, and something that would keep you balanced, irrespective of what happens.

The optimum scenario is playing in the middle, balancing between both of the other scenarios opposite to each other. Planning for that scenario keeps you in control (somewhat), you’re able to plan for steps beforehand, perceive things you wouldn’t have otherwise, and ultimately, stay balanced.

Thinking of the optimum scenario (in advance) means, anything beyond (the optimum) is just icing on the cake for you (that leads to the best scenario). But, anything worse, means you’re not totally disappointed, you probably have a backup (system) in place, and moreover, you’re now in a position to try and salvage as much as you can from the situation.

You’re now standing in a place, which you hadn’t imagined before, but somewhere where you can see what’s happening, plus nothing really surprises you here.

Every outcome can have these three scenarios, then it’s up to you, how you’d like to rewire your thinking, and what kind of a scenario would you like to be thinking about. Every action is followed by a thought, and every thought takes place because of a system (that is designed based on how you think and how you approach things – which is something that can easily be changed or modified).

Our perspective is not the same as two months ago

Our perspective is not the same as two months ago

Irrespective of whether we learn something consciously or not, we are constantly observing new information, we are constantly learning new things. Our eyes, when open, are always watching and consuming, and our brain is simultaneously processing all this information and storing it.

How will this information be used or whether it’d be used or not is another story altogether, but what we know for sure is this information, this consumption, these observations will have an impact on our behavior, on our mental health, on the voice in our head, and moreover, our perspective.

We have a certain perspective of looking at life, at ourselves, at others, at how the world functions, at our needs and wants, at trends.

This perspective is constantly changing based on the new information we receive. How we thought six months ago, may not be the same way we think today. How we perceived things two months ago is not how we perceive things today. That process is constantly changing, and we along with it.

One, we need to evaluate that change in perspective, and how healthy is it, and whether it’s one we align with or one we need to take steps towards to change.

Second, we need to understand how this perspective is affecting our life and our day-to-day of it, how it is affecting our relationship with others, and how we look at people, generally, in the world.

Our perspective is constantly going to change, our habits are going to change, our thought process is going to change, our life is going to change, but so much of it is linked to one other, and we control so much of it too… It’s having that kind of perspective that allows us to see that and then let us do something about it.

“If I’m being honest”

“If I’m being honest”

How many times have you heard someone say, “Let me be honest with you” or “If I’m being honest…”? Whenever someone has to say something sensitive or something serious, they’ll begin their sentence with those statements.

But, what does that tell you about the person who’s saying it?

Are they being honest when they say it, and they aren’t being honest the other times they converse with you?

Or are they honest every time, but they’re being extra honest now? Is there a thing such as extra honesty?

Those words when you listen to them, “If I’m being honest”, make you doubtful right from the start, and not attentive (which was initially expected from the one who made that statement). Moreover, you now perceive that individual and what they say now and what they’ve said before differently.

Maybe, it’s not even their fault. Maybe, they didn’t even notice this technicality. It could be a society thing, originated sometime in the past, and just carried on, without anyone asking any questions (as usual).

But, now that the question can be raised… Let’s think again, should we continue making such statements, “Let me be honest with you” and “If I’m being honest with you” and similar ones which come under the context of honesty. Let’s rethink the baseline of such statements, and what exactly was one trying to get away with by making such a statement…?

An honest review of how the blog has helped me over 1000 blog posts

An honest review of how the blog has helped me over 1000 blog posts

Two years ago, I was in quite a different space than now. Today, I’m obsessed with self-improvement, curious about life and looking at it from a lens of spirituality, neuroscience, psychology, physiology, philosophy; the importance of traits such as empathy, kindness, courage, determination and so many more, and yet back then I didn’t know any of it, nor had even heard of it.

14th March 2019, I had posted my first blog post. I knew I wanted to post every day, but I didn’t know that one day I’d be writing my 1000th blog post too.

Now when I look back at those posts, especially from the perspective of today, I can see a massive difference in not only how I used to write, but also how I used to think, the depth of what I knew about a subject, and the limitations around it too.

Back then, when I was starting to learn these new topics and started walking on this path (still learning), I had a plethora of thoughts around this space, and just writing about all of it gave me this platform to explore more and look at things I never thought of exploring for even a minute.

The more I wrote, the deeper I could explore a particular topic, micro, and macro. The more questions that arose in my mind, the more curious I got, and the more answers I sought. The more information I received, I understood there’s no limitation or an end to these topics, just that the more you explore and understand, the freer and better life you’re able to live.

How did the blog help me then?
– First and foremost, simply instilling the habit of writing a blog helped me build other habits and maintain them, day after day. Executing one habit was the confidence builder to go through with the other habits too, especially in the initial days.

– There were low days, or even days when I just didn’t feel to write anything, but the determination to maintain the schedule and to keep it going gave me the push to write. Not just that though, this simple exercise helped me with the push towards other areas of my life as well, and maybe without that initial push elsewhere (in my case, writing the blog), it could’ve affected my entire approach too.

– To write every day, means to have a ton of ideas and knowledge of what you want to write about. For me, it meant to constantly be present, be aware of what’s going on within me, around me, around the world, observing everything, which ultimately made me think more, understand more, and with writing as a medium, helped me grow as an individual and expand my perspective.

– They say, reading/ learning is stage one of acquiring information. Writing about it is stage two when you’re able to go deeper into the process. When you write your thoughts, you’re able to truly understand what you know and how much do you know. Well, writing definitely did that, because it made me realize my limitations and helped me expand my boundaries.

– Most people who write aren’t looking for validation towards what they’ve written or how good it is, but to create an impact with those words and those learnings. A few times, I’ve had the fortune of receiving information from the other end about the same, how what I’ve written and shared made an impact on what the other person was going through, or simply what they wanted to read at that moment. (I’ve first-hand experienced that and am glad to be a part of that process with others as well)

– The concept of compounding. We may have learnt about the concept financially, but its use case is seen in every area of life. The more you put in something, the more outputs it will provide (multiplying in the future). In the simple scenario of writing a thousand blog posts, while the process of ideating grows difficult with every stage of information you uncover, the compounding takes place in the form of looking at myself, looking at humans all around, looking at human behavior, looking at the world, and how much of it is real, how much can be changed, and how many are just playing robots and the role each individual plays in it.

Sure, a thousand blog posts may not be a big thing. Sure, blogging could’ve become outdated. Sure, who reads anymore (maybe)? But, as a start, as a medium, and as an outlet, this blog has played an extraordinary role for me, throughout this process of growth and change and evolving, and hopefully, that process continues as I write more and share more of my perspective and learnings into the world.

Thank you for reading it!

Quick Reactions

Quick Reactions

With all our senses at work, we consume information at a rate that’s just unimaginable.

We are constantly processing everything that happens. What’s happening in the present, what have we thought beforehand that should’ve happened, and what the next step should be, everything is being processed simultaneously.

Amongst all of this, when any kind of particular situation occurs, with respect to an outcome, an individual, or even a self-created situation in our mind, we are quite quick to react.

That reaction often roots from the type of mindset one has, the kind of perspective with which they view themselves, and the world, and where their focus lies overall.

Averagely, these reaction times are quite quick. And these reactions are often either aggressive or defensive, pertaining to the situation.

It then results in an erupted situation which doesn’t solve anything, makes things worse, and at the same time keeps you ticked off.

When that response time is slowed down, everything can be perceived more clearly, you have more options than you’d have noticed before, you’re in control and you’re now more balanced in this scenario.

How are these quick reaction times slowed down?
– with a growth mindset,
– with a kinder and empathetic perspective of looking at the world,
– with a stiller mind (that comes with the practice of meditation and pranayama (breathing exercises))
– with a bigger focus on what you want and (understanding) what (truly) matters

When you look upon those things, what was blurred earlier becomes focused and what didn’t need to be in focus becomes blurred.

Your best thinking happens when you are not thinking

Your best thinking happens when you are not thinking

How often are you on a deadline or think of this, you have scheduled a slot in your day when you will ideate on that project or that new idea or the next thing you wanted to write about, but just during those moments, you have hit the block and you feel like your brain has stopped working?

You’re sitting there completely blank, mounting pressure on yourself to come up with an idea so you can proceed to the next step.

As time passes by, you feel you have wasted so much time and now you have to think more and put more pressure on yourself.

Traditionally, we feel when we sit with the thought in mind that we have to think about a certain topic, ideas will immediately start pouring in. But unfortunately, that’s not the case (even if it works sometimes).

(Those who ideate/ think/ write that way, habitually, have a process where they get their ideas in advance and they let those ideas sit with them for a while before they even begin with the process – so technically they’re not thinking on the spot either – and that’s what this post is about)

Your best thinking happens when you’re not thinking.

Whatever you have to ideate upon, the process initiates something like this… Introduce the topic to yourself, research/ study if that is involved… And move on to the next thing.

Your brain knows you have to think about this topic, your brain subconsciously has more information than you can imagine… So now when you move on to the next thing at hand, or you divert your concentration from not thinking about one thing precisely to opening up your brain and just moving on, you have allowed yourself the freedom to expand your thoughts, to connect the dots, and to scan through all the information in your brain.

Now your best thinking is happening when you’re busy doing something else.

Somewhere out of the blue, an idea is going to strike your mind. You’ll end up thinking about what inspired you to think of this, and you’ll dedicate various different things to that inspiration without understanding that you were already thinking about this for a while now.

But getting back to it, suddenly that idea will strike… suddenly you will have the motivation to suddenly sit and proceed (or whatever the next step of action calls for that situation), and now you have clearer thoughts than before, where otherwise you would’ve been in a rut, putting pressure on yourself as to why can’t think of a particular idea/s.

“In terms of their awareness and their understanding of life”

“In terms of their awareness and their understanding of life”

As Robin Sharma wrote about in The 5 AM Club, “everyone alive does the best that they can based on where they’re at in terms of their awareness and their understanding of life.”

Even though I haven’t gotten around to reading The 5 AM Club, I’m aware of Robin Sharma’s previous works, which have had a great impact on my life. So when I was listening to one of his podcast episodes, this particular line from his book came up and immediately struck a chord within me.

All of us are on different paths of life, we have different goals, different processes, different types of thoughts, and different styles of execution. Moreover, our understanding of how people around us operate, including our close ones, is always one of mystery. There are moments when you feel why is that person acting in such a way, or why did that individual not think about this (when it was right in front to notice), or why are we not operating the same way.

Questions of these sorts hit me every now and then, with respect to different moments and different people. Being on a path of figuring out more and more about life, about how our body and mind function, and being curious about the tiniest of things, all those things at an intersection make me constantly question the old methods, make me compare the traditional vs modern methods of doing things, make me understand more and more of human behavior and humanity (in general), those types of questions do come up every now and then, wondering why do people do certain things that aren’t helpful to them, why do they make those decisions that don’t help them grow, why to be on a path because someone else did it too.

But, with respect to each and everything, this simple line that everyone is doing their best of where they’re at “in terms of their awareness and their understanding of life” just hits gold.

They might necessarily not be doing the right thing, but based on this line, in their heads (with the current level of awareness they’ve and their understanding of life), they’re doing the right thing, they’re thinking the right thing, and they’re making their decisions based on that very thing too.

Now, with choice or if they stumble upon it, if they’re able to upgrade their level of awareness, or if they are able to elevate their understanding of life (and are able to see the broader, or rather the truer picture, than what is fed to them), then that changes things.

But, until something of that sort is happening, then well, every individual is going to continue to operate “in terms of their awareness and their understanding of life.”

What the Optimum Scenario should be like?

What the Optimum Scenario should be like?

Every scenario in life has three possible outcomes: the best scenario, the optimum scenario, and the worst scenario.

These scenarios range from the most macro things in life: work, relationships, health to the most micro things in life: waking up in the morning, eating food on time, having a discussion/ argument with someone, meeting a deadline, etc.

Before you take on anything, there’s always a visualized scenario that takes place in your head, those visuals show you the best possible outcome of that particular scenario (that’s about to take place).

Whether that best possible scenario takes place or not is a different issue altogether, but right at the start, that’s what pops up in your head.

Now, as the process begins, you never know what’s going to happen, how much is in your control, and how much you’d have to adapt. That means, in reality, the outcome could go from the best possible scenario to the worst possible scenario.

Usually, when something like that happens, most people go haywire; unable to understand how to proceed, they aren’t able to process their emotions, nor their next steps.

As much as, in most of those visualized scenarios, the best possible scenarios may look the best, and the worst possible scenarios are those you don’t want to think of, especially at the beginning of the process… That leaves you with the optimum scenario.

The best possible scenario leaves you pumped up, and simultaneously, you avoid the thought of the worst possible scenario. But, said that thinking of the optimum scenario could actually be the best option for you, and something that would keep you balanced, irrespective of what happens.

The optimum scenario is playing in the middle, balancing between both of the other scenarios opposite to each other. Planning for that scenario keeps you in control (somewhat), you’re able to plan for steps beforehand, perceive things you wouldn’t have otherwise, and ultimately, stay balanced.

Thinking of the optimum scenario (in advance) means, anything beyond (the optimum) is just icing on the cake for you (that leads to the best scenario). But, anything worse, means you’re not totally disappointed, you probably have a backup (system) in place, and moreover, you’re now in a position to try and salvage as much as you can from the situation.

You’re now standing in a place, which you hadn’t imagined before, but somewhere where you can see what’s happening, plus nothing really surprises you here.

Every outcome can have these three scenarios, then it’s up to you, how you’d like to rewire your thinking, and what kind of a scenario would you like to be thinking about. Every action is followed by a thought, and every thought takes place because of a system (that is designed based on how you think and how you approach things – which is something that can easily be changed or modified).

Creating a system around your day (Part 2)

Creating a system around your day (Part 2)

Yesterday I wrote about how our life and day-to-day is nothing but a set of habits, that eventually becomes our daily routine. If those habits are helpful to you, then eventually the routine keeps you in check.

Here’s a snippet from that post, “During the day, irrespective of how many outcomes were in your favor or not, and how your emotions swung from one to another, and whether you were able to manage them or not, ultimately, your routine keeps you in check.”

Check out that post here:

When you think deeper on it, usually the routine involves one particular habit, followed by another, and another. That chain of habits, which might include waking up and then working out, having your breakfast, getting on with your work, with a break in the middle, having a cup of tea in the evening, and so on, are linked to one another.

But we are all humans, not robots. Sometimes the mood overpowers us, sometimes there could be a priority task that uproots this chain of habits, and a particular one gets left out maybe (for example, working out a particular day).

Here’s when, with self-awareness, understanding your habits work out for you. Understanding your habits isn’t enough, and neither is knowing your routine in and out, the more important thing to do is to create a system around your day.

What does it mean to create a system?

It basically means creating a flowchart of your day (mentally), creating alternative scenarios of your day, creating backups in case a particular habit has to be replaced with another, in case something gets delayed or something important comes up.

Such a system (around your routine) helps to keep you flexible, reduces your rigidity, and keeps you and your day balanced, for whatever may suddenly pop up and make you change everything.

Most people don’t like to change their days every day, knowing what you’ll be doing keeps you organized, and keeps you prepared, you retain some part of your control as well. But that also comes with its challenges, because you never know what might turn up, you have to be ready to adapt, you have to be ready for change.

Those are the moments when this concept of having not just a routine, and not just knowing your set of habits, but having a well-managed system in place comes in handy. It starts with understanding your habits, understanding what you’d want from your day-to-day, and what is necessary and what is flexible, and moreover, how much of it are you able to shuffle around.

The routine keeps you in check

The routine keeps you in check

When you shed all the exterior layers (and stories and distractions), you notice how your day-to-day, your thoughts, and actions, are all habits. Every habit that was once started, maybe without realizing, and now keeps continuing day after day.

These habits in accumulation are what one calls a routine. That routine is what an individual follows, right from the time they wake up to when they sleep. These routines include the part of your personal and professional life and all kinds of activities you do throughout the day.

Some of these particular habits help you grow, some let you cruise along, and some drain you with your energy and time.

With self-awareness, you’re able to notice all of these habits, you can then pick the ones that help you grow and evolve, and can also take the path to replace the ones that don’t.

Moreover, the point to understand is, during the day, irrespective of how many outcomes were in your favor or not, and how your emotions swung from one to another, and whether you were able to manage them or not, ultimately, your routine keeps you in check.

Some days you won’t feel like it, but that routine (especially if it’s one that helps you) brings out something in you that keeps your habits running, and irrespective of the effect of the exterior situations, you are able to keep walking ahead and proceed as you’d wanted to when you had planned this routine (in the first place).

Having a set of habits, eventually accumulated into what becomes a routine, helps you live your day, and the next.

Refreshing your Thoughts

Refreshing your Thoughts

All our thoughts root from somewhere. There’s an origin to everything, and that applies to our thoughts as well.

Right from the moment we are born, we are collecting information (now we may not remember everything is not of concern).

– Through associations (acquiring information from the immediate and exterior environment),
– through the social constructs (how the society functions to fit in or the set of steps that have been embedded for generations),
– through the biases (the multiple types of lens that the society has continued for generations through which they perceive/ assign people to a certain trait/ characteristic through which they can be judged easily)
– through the traditions and rituals (whether the intent behind those is good or not, and whether they have a good outcome or not is again a different issue, but they’re blindly followed for the sake of “tradition” becomes the issue)
– through the rules and laws (created by a set of humans who came to a consensus regarding the act of another human/s. Again carried through for years, without asking questions, or without updating them with how the kind currently function),

Through all of these things and more, our thinking gets molded in a certain manner, so much so that the majority of people start thinking the same way or rather approach most things about life the same way.

It becomes programmable, and for most, no one realizes this nor does anyone care. Everyday life, especially the exterior part of it, has been made so chaotic that people are made to think they have no time to think about these things.

So, then one has to get lucky with a certain action (any) that could occur in one’s life which would act as the catalyst for them to realize these things. What follows next is somewhat predictable after a realization of this kind.

That predictability looks something like this, you notice your thoughts from a new perspective, you now look at life differently, what’s real and what’s not is something you notice. You notice what you did before… and what you’d like to do now. So you jot down a plan of action and start implementing those changes and walk on this path of life now.

But that entire process begins when you refresh your thoughts, forget everything for a while, and look at the constructs of this reality that we live in – how much of it is meaningful and how much of it is just for the sake of carrying on.

Finding time to understand yourself

Finding time to understand yourself

How busy do we make our lives, especially with work, to say that we don’t have time for ourselves?

By not having time for ourselves, doesn’t mean not having time to relax or to eat or to escape (some people don’t make time for that too, but that’s a different topic altogether…), but not having time to understand yourself.

We focus on one particular area of life and we say that this is the area we have to grow in, invest all our time there and when the results come and when we are satisfied (which we never will be), then we’ll focus on our personal lives as well.

But the thing about understanding ourselves is more about self awareness about ourself. Understanding what we truly want, and in which area of life, where do we want to invest our time, what type of returns do we want to see.

The more we understand ourselves, the better our relationship becomes with ourselves, with others, the better we’ll be able to balance the personal and professional aspect of our lives.

All that happens with the most important decision any individual can ever take… To take some time to understand themselves (rather than to simply go with the flow or to follow the societal constructs and to let everything happen to you)

Your Thoughts are your Enemies

Your Thoughts are your Enemies

Our brains are designed to think, a lot. Where do these thoughts originate from?

Through our sensory organs, every piece of information (not just digitally, but every little thing around us) that we consume gets recorded in our brain.

Then comes learning from association (what do people talk about, what topics are popular, what do people dislike, what gets a conversation going), and learning from self-interest (anything that you get curious about).

Now, because we know the basics of mostly everything, the second part that comes in is how the brain already knows what you’re going to do next or what you’re going to do in specific situations, that originates from every action to every response being a habit and the brain recognizes that.

So when these two overlap, the learning, and the response, therein comes the thoughts. The thoughts around a certain topic, the depth of which depends on one’s curiosity, the quality of which depends on one’s internal and external environment, the quantity depending on their mindfulness.

So, now that we have shed some light on the concept of thoughts, are they our friends or enemies?

Here comes three important pointers that will determine that
– the consumption
– the environment
– the mindfulness

Most of what we willingly consume and not subconsciously is something that is designed to hit certain emotions for an individual. Based on how it hits, that certain information will be grabbed by your brain accordingly.

Because of that, you now consume more than you can imagine… The reason being it’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s making you laugh, etc.

What you don’t realize is the logic and the application behind the emotion are also being consumed by you.

Now comes the environment, internal and external. Who have you surrounded yourself with, what information is being discussed with individuals and groups, how do they tackle their emotions, how do they tackle certain problems, what issues do they create in the first place, there are tens, if not hundreds of pointers of our external environment that thus affect our internal environment, until both have been polluted to a point we aren’t aware of.

The third point is a silver lining for some, but full of dark clouds for mostly all… Introducing the concept of mindfulness. For mostly all of our lives, we live by certain concepts and traditions and associations, which we don’t question, thus them becoming the same habits, generation by generation, for most of the people without anyone questioning anything. We aren’t present to what is happening now because of the past, and what will happen in the future because of the present.

When the worlds of consumption, environment and mindfulness collide, is when either your thoughts serve you or they don’t.

When you start dreaming of your
– fantasies,
– alternative what-if scenarios of the past,
– imagined scenarios of the future,
– a scenario being run from your perspective when you fail to see what’s actually happening,
– starting to feel that everything is wrong only with you, or
– starting to feel that everything wrong only happens to you,

Are some of the classic scenarios when your thoughts are your enemies, feeding you something that keeps you in a shell protected, away from reality and you not being in control.

In such a situation, you aren’t able to grasp the true reality, nor are you able to change things around… Unless you are out of the ‘matrix’.

Unless you decide that I’m going to be in control, I’m going to be mindful, I’m going to choose my thoughts, I’m going to start living life as I choose it to be.

All of this is a lot easier said than done, it takes ages to become self-aware of who you are and understanding the situation that you’re in, it takes time and a lot of patience to first deal with yourself, and later on, start with the process of change, to make your thoughts your friends again… And eventually make your life better.

How are you doing vs How are you doing today?

How are you doing vs How are you doing today?

A simple question that is often asked by mostly everyone, if not all is, “How are you doing?”

A question that is followed by a Hello or Hi before the real conversation begins. Sometimes the question shows care and compassion, but usually, it’s just part of a routine.

Even the reply has become a standard one, “I’m fine” or “I’m doing good”.

Whether you are or not is a different issue altogether. You want to respond and then get on the topic or situation at hand.

But let’s make a slight modification to that question, “How are you doing today?

A potential response to such a question would be, “Overall I’m doing good. But today’s not so great. A certain something took place and now I’m feeling x because of it.”

Just by adding a word at the end of your question, you now ask something that opens up the other individual and allows them to share the real answer to that question. Not just that, but that simple addition of a word shows the difference in you and shows that it’s not a routine question anymore.

Try it out, next time when you have a conversation, ask “How are you doing TODAY?”

Inward and Outward

Inward and Outward

Every action of ours has an inward and outward effect.

What we think/ feel/ eat/ drink/ how we care for our mind/ body/ the words we communicate/ the work we do/ the experiences we have,

All of it has not just an effect on the outside, but it equally affects us on the inside too (our inner body processes/ organs/ brain activity, brain processes, hormone releases, neural activity, body energy, just about everything).

Every emotion we feel (as an outcome of anything that we choose to do) releases an energy of that sort in the body too.

Every thing we eat and drink is how our body processes it, and whether it is good for the body or not, then has an outcome accordingly.

Whether we exercise or not, not just has an effect on how “slim” we become, but it has an effect on our body processes too.

The words that we communicate, not just affects our character and our relationships, but also the quality of our mind and the type of voice that develops because of it.

In such a short span of a few sentences, it’s a lot to process… But eventually the baseline still stands the same, everything we do has an effect, not just on the outward, but inward too.

We usually don’t think about any of this, we weren’t taught to think in this manner, neither did we question the working of anything.

If we become a tiny bit more mindful than usual, then we can start taking care of our mind, body and soul, at least from now on, if not before (and experience life differently than before).

“Embrace the Mess”

“Embrace the Mess”

The beauty of film/tv and storytelling is that it has the power to move and influence you, change your perspective, the power to change your approach towards anything.

One such incident occurred while I was watching this TV show, ‘Only Murders in the Building’, and without giving any spoilers, there was this line in the show that just stayed with me, “Embrace the Mess”.

It got me thinking about the mess in our lives, in every area of our lives, and how our life is surrounded with any and all kinds of mess.

Most of the times, we are overwhelmed with this mess, and usually our first approach is to clean this mess so we can have clarity where there was none, or to blame this mess for things not turning out the way we wanted.

But, how many times do we think of embracing this mess? Making it a part of our lives and then driving through it? Instead of letting it hamper our path, making it the road for us to drive through?

Now, instead of this mess overpowering our lives, we’re in control, we have embraced these moments of our lives, and we can decide how do we want to move forward.

To acknowledge this mess, let alone embrace it is one of the biggest steps for anyone to take. It is difficult to accept that our life is in chaos, and to then think of these moments and situations and then embracing them as well, but then what is the better choice, to acknowledge and embrace, or to let it control us?

(P. S. There’s no one definition to explain this ‘mess’. Each individual has their own kind of mess in their lives, everyone defines it differently, and it affects each one differently. You get to decide what is mess for you and what isn’t.)

5 Questions to ask yourself at the End of the Day

5 Questions to ask yourself at the End of the Day

Every day brings with its own set of thoughts, emotions, opportunities, ideas, problems, and much more. Every day can be the same and every day can be different, depending upon your approach.

How can you then know how did your day go? How can you evaluate each day?

At the end of each day, you can ask yourself a set of questions, even if they seem overwhelming at first, you can start with one and then keep adding one by one to your list.

You can ponder upon these questions, you can journal your answers, you can simply think about them… But a simple exercise of this sorts helps you manage your days in the micro, so the impact can look and feel even better in the macro.

Here goes the questions…

A. Do you, at the end of the day, look back and just observe everything that happened with you, around you?

B. How did this day affect you? How did it impact you? What did you get out of it?

C. How did your actions affect other people? How did their actions affect you? How did your words affect others and vice versa?

D. Were you satisfied with the events of this day? If not, what changes can you think of so the process of those events can be changed the next time around?

E. Were you able to manage your time? Were you able to allot some time for yourself?

Questions that may look complicated, but are actually simple questions in theory, questions that help you personally perceive your day and your life in a different manner and may ask you to take difficult steps that you wouldn’t have thought of in the first place.

Either you find out or someone points it out

Either you find out or someone points it out

Change is an essential part of life. It happens sooner or later. It happens voluntarily or involuntarily, that choice remains with you, but it happens.

But where does it usually originate from?

– Either you find out (something about yourself and you decide to change that certain something)

– Or, someone points it out to you (and then it clicks you)

It usually originates from these two key factors, which then further leads to a number of steps that evolve into a before and after change.

Expanding into those two factors, how does an individual find something out?

That itself originates from two factors, one, you’re on a path of becoming self aware and want to improve at certain areas of your life.

Second, either through any kind of an interaction with an individual or a certain event that took place becomes the catalyst that then evolves into you thinking about change.

Or if not by yourself, then a few fortunate people have closed ones around them who look out for them and are then willing to point out when something about you is bothering them or something that needs to be looked into.

Others, well, there are times when someone’s boss or a colleague, or a professor, or on social media, where someone who doesn’t know you personally will point out something and that is when you find out about something.

Either or, when you keep your eyes open, you will constantly find clues which tell you something about yourself, which become this catalyst of change. Only if you’re ready to look though.

The Last Thought

The Last Thought

Every day. Hundreds and thousands of thoughts. In an hour. Within a span of hours. In a day.

Some you remember. Some connect to one another. Many you forget. Some repeat again the next day.

In all this chaos of thoughts, the last thought that you sleep with is extremely important.

It’s that thought that stays with you throughout the night, throughout your sleep. That very thought is going to grow on you, without you even knowing it.

Where one may or may not be trained to command their last thought, one can definitely try to remember the last thought that they sleep with. And may be as an experiment, also notice how that very thought plays a role on the next day or generally in life too.

What’s that last thought you sleep with?

It’s difficult to stay consistent

It’s difficult to stay consistent

A particular lifestyle or a purpose originates from the multiple habits that form into it. Those habits require consistency and daily efforts to keep them going, and even when they become a part of your life, you still have to be consistent with them in order to keep them going.

But, with each day also comes a whole new set of issues and emotions and how did you start your day, how did you embrace the day, there’s a whole list of things that decide how a particular day is going to turn out to be.

Eventually, even when you understand the technicalities, and even on those particular days when you push through and still remain consistent, there comes that once in a blue moon day, when it’s extremely difficult to stay consistent.

This isn’t one of those rest days that one should take. This is one of those days that demanded so many other things from you, that also showed some mismanagement issues on your side, but eventually it remained difficult to stay consistent with your usual things, that’s the bottom line.

Those days come, these things happen, you have to take them with a grain of salt, and be ready to bounce back again, as soon as possible, not because you have to… But because you want to.

Sit with ‘It’

Sit with ‘It’

You may be stuck with a problem, you may not like a particular emotion that’s staying with you, a memory that’s coming back to you…

Our usual instinct is to get rid of any of the particulars, so we escape, i.e. normally done with the help of any kind of distractions.

As soon as we get distracted, there’s a change in our thoughts or emotions, and what we were stuck with or rather what we didn’t want to encounter is now gone.

That road seems like the easier path to take. And as often as it works, the problem with that path is, it keeps popping up time and again.

What looks a tougher road to take even before we begin is to address ‘it’. ‘It’ could be anything – a emotion, a problem or a memory.

Amongst a bunch of processes that can be tried and tested for this, varying from individual to individual, a method that works wonders is to sit with ‘it’.

Instead of escaping and distracting yourself, sit with whatever you’re stuck with.

Usually, we avoid that distress only for it to dig even deeper and erupt on a larger scale next time.

When you sit with that ‘it’, what you also allow is to face that discomfort, and when you are ready to face it, is when you’re able to see things more clearly.

At those times, you’re able to understand yourself more, able to understand that ‘it’ more, and now with time, able to understand how do you tackle or face the ‘it’.

Only when you sit with ‘it’.

The present comes in the way of the past

The present comes in the way of the past

How often do you think about the past? Your past memories? Your past experiences? Your past mistakes? Your past glories?

Some things you cherish. Some things you don’t. But the good part is that you understand those things that you don’t. Now you want to get over those things, now you try to heal from those things…

But sometimes the present comes in the way of the past.

Your present issues… Your present problems… Your present perspective… Those things sometimes come in the middle of that path. Now you wonder whether you should tackle the present or the past? You may try to juggle both, but then you fail at both. You choose one, but the baggage of the other becomes heavier. Now what?

Well, how about just tackling things on the level of priority as it affects you? Irrespective of the present or the past? The time doesn’t matter, it’s effectiveness does. Now you can choose more easily the moments you want to tackle, the moments you want to heal from, the moments you want to pay attention to.

Now, may be the present doesn’t come in the way of the past.

Status

The date is August 3, 2026

The date is August 3, 2026. 5 Years from Today. You imagine today is that day. Just visualize it!

Now, ask yourself the following questions…

Do you want to be mentally healthy?
Do you want to be physically healthy?
Do you want to be free of all ailments?
Do you want a positive voice in your head?
Do you want to have less anxiety and/or less stress?
Do you want to be satisfied or feel fulfilled in life?
Do you want to have fewer problems in your life?
Do you want to evolve to a higher version than what you were 5 years ago?

In order to say ‘YES‘ to those questions 5 years from today, the work for it starts TODAY.

Your today’s actions may not have an impact today, but they definitely have an impact ONE year from today, FIVE years from today, and TWENTY years from today.

The life you live today affects your future, no one else’s.

The three focus points of my life

The three focus points of my life

Mind. Body. Breath. The three most important aspects of our life. The three focus points of my life. Each of those areas plays an individual role in our lives. Moreover, in our lifetime, either beforehand or after, you have to start taking care or start paying attention to all those three areas. But here’s the important part, your mind, body, and breath play a role in each other’s areas as well. Your breath plays a part in the working of your mind and body. Your body plays a role in your mind and breath. Your breath plays a part in your mind and body. When one fails, all fail. When you work on one aspect, it has an impact on all three aspects.

Knowing that, understanding the advantages of working on those areas, understanding how those three aspects of our lives are interconnected, but also have an external impact on all areas of our life as well.

Whether it is how you live, how long you want to live, how well you want to live, what’s going on in your mind, is your mind well-fed, what is the voice inside your head telling you, how does your body regulate your energy, how often do the foods you eat cause a negative impact on your thoughts, on your day as well, how eating something nutritious immediately turns that scale, how is your breath affecting your actions, how is your food affecting your stress levels… These and more are questions that every individual should ask themselves… The sooner you start, the sooner you start seeing the results and the impact of these results on your life and the various external aspects of your life.

Mix all of this, with self-awareness, and I boiled down my life to three specific focus points and what do I need to about it, now, and how that affects my future. Thus, I focused on the following three areas… It took time, a lot of patience, and understanding, and experimentation, but eventually I realized the change once I started walking down that path.

1. I replaced the foods understanding their impact on my mind and body

2. I worked on the chemistry of my breath

3. I changed the voice in my head

All three individual areas of life, seem as if they don’t impact each other or the external aspects of our life, but they do, more than one can think of.
Replacing the foods helped not just my body, but also the health of my mind, and my breath. Working on my breath helped me realize how it impacts every moment of my life, how it impacts what I do in the very next moment, and how it’s signaling my emotions too. The voice in the head is the biggest work that can ever be done, one that is initially shaped by society’s prejudices, biases, and whatnot, and that’s how we grow up. But work on it, and that voice can become a positive, optimistic tone that helps you and pushes you to help others as well.

None of this has a destination though when you start working on it, it’s a lifetime work-in-progress, but every day you see the progress, and every tomorrow there’s an evolution waiting to happen.

Take a Minute

Take a Minute

Do you have a ton of personal tasks to do? Do you have work projects pending? Are you running around a lot?

More than your physical output, all of this organizational mess of our day-to-day puts a pressure on our mental output.

Right from our energy to the output of our emotions, to our time, everything takes a hit.

And at the moment when you think everything is up to the brim…

You must take a minute.

A minute for yourself.

A minute to settle down.

A minute to take back control of yourself.

A minute to get back to you and focus on what truly matters.

This could be a minute or several minutes, but take it without feeling the guilt, without feeling the pressure, without thinking of the consequences.

Sometimes all you need is that minute is to get back on track.

Pick your Battles

Pick your Battles

All of us, every day, have a ton of stuff to do, and there’s a limited period of time to do them.

In the midst of managing your time, trying to complete your tasks, give enough time to every sector of your life, there will be moments with others, with yourself, with some situations, where it may not go according to your expectations, or you may not be on the same page with a certain someone, or you might be in the wrong.

The point is, when these moments do occur, you have to pick your battles.

Give more than enough time to one particular thing and you take away the time from the other things… Time, energy and peace.

So when you have to pick your battles, you have to let go of your emotions, and you have to choose which conversation is worth arguing for, which outcome is worth fighting for, which situation requires more of you, and for others you just let go.

Not every situation is worth winning, not every situation is worth fighting for. At those times, you have to be smart enough to pick the right battles and move on from the rest.

These battles happen every day, some are happening with yourself too… But if you just hold onto one, then how will you live the rest of the day?

Embracing the Silence

Embracing the Silence

In a previous post here, I wrote about how we fill the silence in our lives with various things and why do we do it.

Having spoken about escaping silence and running away from it… What can one do to embrace that silence?

That golden silence which is going to unlock so many things in your life, that you didn’t want to face but now you want to… How do you embrace it now?

The first step is one of acceptance. No matter what is revealed to you in this silence, you will accept it and not run away from it. That mindset of acceptance is the biggest key to embracing silence.

Once you have the mindset, then there are two ways to embrace it…

One, you do a lot of self-reflection. Sit to think, journal your thoughts, go deeper into them and when you face those deeper, darker thoughts, and you go deeper and deeper into them and take away their power, then you embrace the silence.

The other way is to meditate. Practice meditating, sit for longer periods of time, go in deep meditations, let everything come to you, feel it, feel those moments, and embrace that silence.

Once you experience it, then you want it more. You feel its power and what it does to you.

Embrace the silence.

Filling the Silence

Filling the Silence

In order to escape the mind, we fill the silence with

– talking (more than usual)

– music (contextual) and/or consuming content in general

– activities that you don’t want to do

(or anything else that one might do to fill their silence)

Why do we do it though?

It’s only when we are scared of that silence. The deepest questions that you don’t think of lie in that silence. The answers you avoid lie in that silence. The truths you run away from lie in that silence.

Silence speaks volumes.

And that is why we run away from it. Because we don’t want to face it. That’s why we escape. Its feels better to escape your reality than to face it.

Facing it means to take action, to pause and look back, to accept your mistakes, to change your tomorrow, that requires change in thoughts and actions and that’s a lot of efforts.

Instead, we avoid the silence.

// i write about how to embrace this silence here.

Rough Roads

Rough Roads

Rough Roads. Difficult Journeys. Hiccups. Everyone goes through such phases in life.

Such a phase teaches us the most important lessons, tests us in the toughest of times, and ensures whether we’re ready for the next step or not.

Has the rough road chosen us or have we chosen the rough road? That is surely debatable. But even if we willingly chose it, there must be a reason.

Such a phase is not understandable to ourselves, let alone others. But one can only assume that it gives a chance to strengthen ourselves, it gives us the opportunity to make decisions we otherwise wouldn’t have, it allows us to run when we are ready to run.

Often, you find a diversion towards a highway when you get out of the rough road.

Staying neutral is picking a side

Staying neutral is picking a side

There are two sides to a coin. For and against. People are on the either side of it, either for or against, and very rarely (if not, never) would you see everybody on just one end of the coin.

So, according to what is right to us, we pick a side and then voice our opinions towards it, or moreover live by that side. (now this applies to a numerous amount of things)

What happens when you don’t pick a side? When you choose to stay silent? When you want to stay neutral?

The bigger question is, is that possible?

If not by words, then by action, and if not by action, then by thought, everyone chooses a side.

Due to mainly fear, or with a lack of acceptance, or not wanting to be seen choosing a particular side, one stays neutral.

But, even in doing so they are choosing a side. But silently. And subconsciously. That neutrality is then counted towards wherever the majority is. Because that’s how it works.

Unless you state otherwise.

To dismiss or to accept?

To dismiss or to accept?

Whenever you receive any information, or you receive a contrasting opinion to your thought, you have two choices.

Either you dismiss it quickly and stick to what you know, whether it is right or wrong, whether it is accepted or not, or the second option is to accept this new information, to accept a counter opinion, to hear the other side and what they have to say.

Choosing the latter option widens your perspective, expands your viewpoint and helps you grow and evolve. Then you have the choice to change with this information or let your information change someone else (whichever is the right one).

New Perspectives, Thoughts, and Phases of Life

New Perspectives, Thoughts, and Phases of Life

Every individual has multiple phases in their lives, one that they look back to and ponder upon, when a new one begins.

There’s a perspective attached to every phase, of how you perceive things and how you react and respond to them.

Now, your daily thoughts (which decide your actions and outcomes) are all based on that perspective.

If your perspective on a topic is limited to something and you have decided to not look beyond, your thoughts will be as limiting as that and ultimately, that particular phase of your life is then lived in that manner.

Only if you want to outgrow yourself, reach that next level, must you expand your perspective of looking at things, thinking upon them from a broader viewpoint.

Hence, your thoughts will widen as well and because of cause and effect will your phase of life get affected in a positive and evolving manner as well.

These three areas are correlated and have a cause and effect impact on each other. To improve one, you must work on the other and the process is cyclical, which is then repeated to every phase of your life.

You don’t have to be busy all the time

You don’t have to be busy all the time

All our life we have been taught to be busy, either with work, or filling the gaps in between, just trying to do something or the other, often in the form of escapism.

The word ‘busy’ has been ingrained in our minds, so much so, that for anything that we do, be it watching a movie or scrolling on social media, we’d claim to be busy.

But, the reality of life is, in order to be free, in order to be more productive, in order to get more ideas, in order to relax, you don’t have to be busy all the time.

It’s in your ideal time when your brain is most active, it is that time when you’ll ideate more, you’ll think of your decisions to make, what do you want to do differently, what’s going right for you – that ideal time is your time.

Instead of focusing on being busy, focus on the opposite and notice the change it brings.

Doesn’t matter if I live for 90 years

Doesn’t matter if I live for 90 years

If an individual lives for say, 70 years or 90 years or even more, it sounds good to have lived that long.

But, life being an experience, it only matters if you have experienced life enough up till that point.

If you have lived the same life for a long amount of time, to not have experienced the thrill and satisfaction from it, then how does it matter how long does you live for?

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t live that long. No. It means that life is about experiences, life is about satisfaction, life is about freedom, life is about emotions, if all of those things and more aren’t experienced, then it doesn’t matter whether we live for 20 years, 40 years, or a 100 years.

Some things are inevitable

Some things are inevitable

Irrespective of how prepared you are and how much you have planned, some things are inevitable.

Some things are bound to happen, no matter what you do and how much you do.

Whether good or not, whether in your favor or not, what is inevitable cannot be changed (may be delayed, at the most).

Some things are inevitable in life.

I lost 15 kgs in 6 months

I lost 15 kgs in 6 months

I lost 15 kgs in 6 months.

How?

Not because I wanted to lose weight fast, but because I wanted to live a better lifestyle than before.

Not because I wanted to look good, but because I wanted to feel good and feel those fabulous internal benefits of working out.

Not because I starved myself or tried fad diets, but because I knew it’s time to get rid of those foods that have harmful effects on the mind and body, that may taste good in the moment, but have not-so-good effects in the future.

A simple tweak of knowing the why, rather than the what and how.

A simple tweak of enjoying the process than the outcome.

That’s it. And that brought results.

Balancing your Life

Balancing your Life

Instead of constantly rushing towards work and focusing all your energy into it, why not balance it out and experience other areas and phases of your life as well?

Instead of wondering where did all that time go, why not create slots for everything you want to do in a particular day and live a balanced and experienced life?

Why not experience cooking? Why not experience organizing? Why not experience journaling? Why not experience meditation? Why not experience those things that you wanted to do outside of work?

Ultimately, life is an experience which we don’t want to miss out on.

Prioritizing your Tasks

Prioritizing your Tasks

All of us, on a day to day basis, have a ton of tasks to do. Those tasks could be at home tasks, or related to work, or growth, or learning, or anything else that you have to do.

And what usually ends up happening is, you get to tick off some of them at the end of the day, some were left off in the middle and some had to be postponed or delayed for the future.

Does that happen to you as well?

How can you then priortize your tasks and see to it that you do all of them?

Well the secret is, to priortize them based on the level of importance to you.

What do you feel is so important that it has to be done right now. And when you plan your tasks in that manner, then you can do everything that was urgent for you and those that you had to do right now.

Also, to add to that, the fewer tasks you plan everyday, the more you can check at the end of the day. You can only do so much in the time you’re awake, then why not just schedule a few tasks rather than planning a ton of them, only to delay them for the next day and the next day and to then get disappointed that you’re not able to check off the things you had to do.

Having fewer things to do and to do them in the order of how important they are to you is how you prioritize your day, your life and make sure each day you’re able to do as much as you can.

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Putting a full stop at the end of a sentence

Putting a full stop at the end of a sentence

At the end of a sentence, there could be a full stop, or a comma and you could continue the sentence further more, or you could even put three dots and continue it further to the next line.

You could also break that sentence without ending it, by putting a semi colon.

That choice is with the one who’s writing it and with what intent are they writing.

The similar case is with our life as well.

Any dream we have, any plans we take action on, it is we, who choose to put that full stop at the end of that sentence.

When do you want to put a full stop, whether you’d like to put one or not, or add one of the alternatives.

No one can decide that for you, no person, no government, no place – that power is only within your mind to do so.

Once that power is realized, then you can take any and all action accordingly – having full control of your life and what you do with that life.

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Others & You

Others & You

Others win in life. So do you.
Others make mistakes. So do you.
Others do something wrong. So do you.

In life, we are always ready to point fingers at someone else, blame someone else, compare with someone else, and we are just not ready to take a look at ourself.

What are you doing? What mistakes are you making? What good are you doing? For yourself and for others?

Instead of just talking and thinking of others, their success, their failure, their mistakes, their right and wrong, its time we step up and look at ourselves first.

Check whether we are doing right before correcting someone else. Check whether our behaviour is right, before correcting someone else’s.

Time and again, everytime it’s others this, others that. And it just never ends. Now its time for you and you alone.

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Everything looks difficult

Everything looks difficult

Everything looks difficult when you haven’t started.

You don’t know what it takes, what’s the process, what it entails, nothing.

But, it’s only when you take that first step, mixed with patience and constant practice, do you then realize how that difficulty was in your mind, but not in reality.

We created this image in our mind of how difficult it would be, or even something that we may have heard of.

But when we started it, we realized that we were made for it, we can do it, and its all good.

Most of the battles are won and lost in our minds, and this is just that.

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Every Experience

Every Experience

Some experiences are good for you, and for some, the outcome isn’t. But, every experience has something to teach. In most cases, it’s only in hindsight that we realize that, and we understand and learn from it. But, even if we don’t, what we must know that every experience plays a part in moulding in, in improving us, in evolving us.

What we are today, is because of every experience we have had in our lives. These experiences play a part in your behavior, your habits, your thoughts, that voice in your head, your work, basically everything.

When we understand that, don’t you think it’d be better to look back at every experience with a different perspective, try to derive some learning from it, if it wasn’t a good one, what can you still take away from it. Everything helps you at a later point in time, and we aren’t even aware of it right now.

Even listening to this podcast episode is an experience for you, which might change something for you, somewhere down the line, either consciously or sub-consciously. Every experience matters. Every experience has some learning. Every experience affects our life.

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Mind, Body and Soul

Mind, Body and Soul

What we think

What we feel

What we eat

What we drink

What exercise we do

It not only has an effect on our exterior actions, that is the words we speak, the work we do, the things we experience,

But, it has an effect on our inner body too.

Did you know that?

Every emotion we feel releases an energy of that sort in the body too.

Every thing we eat and drink is how our body processes it, and whether it is good for the body or not, then has an outcome accordingly.

Whether we exercise or not, not just has an effect on how “slim” we become, but it has an effect on our body processes too.

Everything we do has an effect, not just on the outward, but inward too.

We usually don’t think about how it affects our body, our mind and our soul.

If we become a tiny bit more mindful than usual, then we can start taking care of our mind, body and soul, at least from now on, if not before.

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Ask yourself what is wrong

Ask yourself what is wrong

A lot of times, when something is going wrong in our lives, we start wondering what is even going wrong.

And to add to that, our perspective doesn’t seem to align to someone else’s point of view to understand what is wrong.

What can you do then, in such a scenario?

Can you continue to be wrong?

Or do you want to correct yourself?

How we live clouds our judgement of thinking making us think that all we do is right and nothing can be wrong.

You’re not able to entertain another person’s point of view to change this perspective.

At such times, you need to ask yourself what is wrong, what can be wrong, what can I do differently?

You need to look at yourself in a third person’s shoes, look at your situation from a third perspective – understand how it looks from that scenario, what someone else would’ve done vs what you’ve done.

Often, looking at situations from a third perspective helps to right our wrongs. And only because we aren’t able to change our thinking, our approach or even knowing that we could be wrong too.

Asking yourself what can be wrong changes those things.

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In others’ shoes

In others’ shoes

When we see ourselves from our perspective, everything seems right.

Every step we take, every decision we make, it’s all the right ones.

However, when our worldview is limited, is when we don’t understand how what we do may affect someone else.

How would they perceive it, how would they feel.

Putting yourself in another person’s shoes is the best thing anyone can do, to improve everything about themselves, especially their relationships.

Look at that particular scenario from your lens, from their lens, from a third eye basically and then understand how it is perceived. When this is done, can you then expand your perspective as well as everything about you.

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Taking a Step Back

Taking a Step Back

Sometimes the solutions to the most difficult problems are really simple.

But, being in the driving seat, we don’t realize this. With a rush to solve our problems, we go on a path, head-on introducing more problems than before.

And more problems start piling up. In this turmoil, we don’t know what to do and we blame everything else around us, but ourselves.

Instead, a better option is to take a step back, observe and analyze everything. Perceive everything from a third eye and then execute your next move.

Now you’re prepared. Now you know what to do.

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Personal before Professional

Personal before Professional

We have been taught to always focus on our careers, on our professional side of life, the side that earns money and is able to buy things.

We are always chasing growth in that sector of life, trying to accomplishing our work goals.

Sometimes, we even make those work goals, our life goals, because we don’t know the difference.

That is how the system works, how the society works, no one questioned it, everyone just did the same thing, but in different ways.

Chasing professional goals is not wrong at all, it gives you motivation to do something but when it comes at the cost of personal growth, then it creates a problem.

When you are not in control of yourself, is when problems appear elsewhere in your life.

When you don’t know how to emotionally react, is when you hinder your exterior relationships as well as your relationship with yourself.

When you don’t know how your own voice in the head has come from, how will you separate yourself from what the society and their judgements say.

Personal comes before Professional.

Personal growth, first, focus on yourself first or simultaneously, and then let that impact every other area of your life.

Professional growth will create exterior success, but won’t affect personal growth. On the contrary, personal growth will create professional growth + inner success + inner peace + satisfaction.

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How can you have a good 2021?

How can you have a good 2021?

We approach every year with a certain set of expectations, hoping for the year to live up to that level.

We had the same approach for 2020 as well and it took all of us by surprise and literally changed our lives.

However, here’s where it gets tricky though.

In terms of the magnitude of change, this year (2020) sure was a roller-coaster of a ride, but to think of it, not in the same magnitude level, but every year brings with it, its own set of ups and downs.

Enough ups and downs to break your expectations, with you ending up moulding yourself to those and making changes accordingly.

And, that is life.

The expectations we set are always uprooted by something or the other, and what sets us apart is how we then respond to those changes and mould ourself to them.

With such a perspective, when you understand this, then you also get to a point that 2021 could be better than 2020, but it would still have its own set of ups and downs.

And thus, we should not have any special expectations from the year, only to end up feeling disappointed or frustrated that things didn’t turn out like we expected.

Instead, approaching the year with an open mindset, with a plan in place, but also ready when things go haywire. That way, you’re ready for everything 2021 has to offer and you’re prepared for it (mentally).

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Unlimited Options

Unlimited Options

What do you want in life or what can you do to get it, is a question on the minds of many.

What path should you be walking on, which turns to take and when to stop and take a breather?

Now, more than ever, the options are unlimited to decide what you can do and what do you want to do.

Now, you don’t need to do just one thing or even walk on the traditional paths.

With so much exposure to everything, and the potential, the list of options is endless to choose from.

You can experiment, you can try out different things, you can choose and then do multiple things at the same time.

The options are unlimited.

Take your time to figure it out than rushing it out.

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Hope.

Hope.

Hope keeps you alive.

Hope doesn’t let you down.

Hope lets you try.

Hope lets you fail and succeed.

Hope keeps humanity alive.

You can only hope.

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Blaming Others vs Taking Accountability

Blaming Others vs Taking Accountability

What do the differences between the two look like – blaming others v taking accountability?

Blaming Others
– is easy
– allows you to shift every problem of yours onto others
– you’ve an excuse for every hardship you face, for everything that happens in your life
– you can now blame those around you, the technology, the government, the weather, you’ve a ton of options at your disposal.

vs

Taking Accountability
– is difficult
– now the onus is on you
– you’ve no one to blame, but be accountable for everything that you do and everything that happens to you
– irrespective of whether the outcome is in your favor or not
– allows more freedom and independence

Which side do you then choose?
The easier or the difficult one?

Some choices seem easy in life, until you realize its consequences on yourself and how it affects you short-term and long-term.

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The beauty of learning

The beauty of learning

The beauty of a certain topic is there is so much to learn about it.

The beauty of learning is that it is never enough.

No matter how much you know about a certain something, there is always so much depth in everything that one can never know enough.

It is only when you truly want to learn, and start looking at things from different perspectives, is when you understand this depth as well.

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The January 1st pressure

The January 1st pressure

As far as traditions go, or what we as the society start following and then calling them traditions, the worst one of them is the January 1st plans.

All new year resolutions, rather than starting them early and having an upper hand on your plans, or rather than having the perspective that you have the entire year to do these resolutions, most of us, plan everything for January 1st.

That is what I call the January 1st pressure.

In the hype of starting fresh or doing something new on the first day of the new year, we plan a lot of things for this one day.

And now you’ve created this pressure for yourself, to do all of this or your year won’t have the start you were looking for. And when you were able to do only half of it, or for some people, none of it, is when you get disappointed and frustrated and you carry that emotions for the next few days or weeks as well.

Instead, understand that a new year means you have 365 days to start what you want, to change what you want, and even now, you can have a upper hand to those 365 days and start with your plans right now itself.

It’s all about perspective to not focus everything on just one day and to rather enjoy that fresh, new day, looking at the entire year for your growth and learning and new habits and developments that you were looking for.

Let’s welcome 2021 with that perspective.

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Worked or not, Gratitude is constant

Worked or not, Gratitude is constant

A learning which developed over time, with practice, mistakes and experience.

A learning that has been one of the biggest for me.

I’m grateful for everything good that happened to me, but also grateful for the other things that didn’t work out for me.

Everything that didn’t work out for me lead to better things in my life or even if not, made me realize the flaws in the path I was initially set to take.

Once you begin to understand that, you understand why you need to be grateful for everything that happens to you, the importance of that gratitude and what that perspective does to you.

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Action Repercussions

Action Repercussions

There is no action that goes unnoticed and there is no repercussion that happens on its own.

They are both connected to each other, where one impacts the other and the other is dependent on the former.

That is the case of action repercussions.

Every thing that you do has a repercussion, positive or negative, sometime now, or in the near future, or even long-term.

Whether it’s how you deal with your mind or your body, the repercussion will happen sometime or the other.

How do you deal with your life, yourself, the people around you, the repercussions of each indicates how you acted in the first place.

When you live with that thought, is when you choose your actions carefully. Because you know the repercussions are upon you.

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In a world full of mirrors

In a world full of mirrors

In a world full of mirrors, where everyone creates a different image in front of others.

In a world full of mirrors, where people have forgotten who they are.

In a world full of mirrors, where people are in a race to better than each other.

Show your true self to yourself and everyone around you.

You’ll become more confident, you’ll have nothing to hide, and you’ll be able to live your truth.

It leads to you living a freer, stress-free life, making decisions for yourself and doing everything for yourself.

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What you look for, is what you find

What you look for, is what you find

What are you’re looking for, or rather seeking?

That is an important question that should be on your mind.

Consciously or subconsciously, you get what you look for.

Whether it’s positivity, or pessimism, or finding the good, your approach sets the tone for your outcome as well.

If you’re determined to get it, then ways will appear on your path that will help you to get to that point.

However, if you aren’t satisfied with your current approach and if you think you won’t be able to get what you want, you can change that.

Your current approach doesn’t determine how your future approach will be – you can unlearn what you know, you can reframe your mind and change your outcome – everything is a possibility.

Right approach, with the right mindset and you’ll get the outcome you seek.

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All the answers are out there

All the answers are out there

Surrounded with problems and questions and the unknown is how we live life.

We think we don’t know anything and we have to struggle, we have to find out everything on our own.

No one’s here to help us and our path will be paved by us, alone.

However, on the contrary to these thoughts that we have, all the answers are out there.

The answers to everything, whatever we are looking for, whatever we need to know.

Everything is out there.

You just need to know where to look, whom to ask, and how much help do you need.

Then you’re set.

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Living a life with purpose

Living a life with purpose

On a macro level, few people live their purpose and get to live that life on a daily basis.

It’s not the same as being motivated or not the same as earning to cover your expenses. That life is different.

What does that life include then?

Living a life with purpose means

• you know where your FOCUS lies,

• your PROCESS is now streamlined,

• knowing how to balance your TIME and ENERGY,

• where to DOUBLE DOWN upon, and

• also, able to avoid the DISTRACTIONS in life.

Of course, there are a lot more advantages to living a purposeful life, but these were top five reasons, according to me, that sets one apart once they have found their purpose.

Have you found yours yet?

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5 Lessons to learn from ‘Mirzapur 2’

5 Lessons to learn from ‘Mirzapur 2’

Done watching Mirzapur 2, just like most with access to the OTT platforms have, what can I say that already hasn’t been said.

Every episode felt like a film on its own, with a unique experience, this season brought so much depth and nuance to all the characters and the storyline, their arcs were just amazing to watch.

Glad with a lot of things that occurred, and simultaneously sad with some of them as well. And that just speaks how the show grips you emotionally and ties you into its universe.

Having seen English tv series for over a decade, amongst other great shows, I’m just glad to have Mirzapur on our Indian roster.

This show is just wow.

Having said all of this, I also sensed a lot of takeaways from this season, that can also be taken as life lessons, that will help sometime or the other, in life.

A. You always have a Choice
Whatever you do in life, no matter the circumstance at hand, you always have a choice.

A choice of how you’d like to proceed, a choice of how you want to approach, or change, a choice of decisions.

What you choose then changes your path and your life as well.

B. Once you have set a goal, you’ll achieve it at any cost
The thing about having a goal in life is that, once you’ve set one and truly accepted it as something you want, you’ll keep at it until you achieve it.

You’ll be persistent, you’ll not hear a no, you’ll keep making mistakes, learn from them, but keep moving forward until you achieve that goal.

C. Sometimes all you need is Love
Sometimes you do things, you create this pressure on yourself, you try to prove to others, you try achieving things, all because in return for everything, you were only looking for love.

You wanted this love and acceptance, for which you were ready to do anything, even though you may have no interest in any of it. That’s the significance of love.

D. The ones closest to you cannot be trusted at times
You need to be on the constant lookout for who’s around you, what their intentions are, and how much do they really support you.

Because, even people with sweet and loving words may have ill intentions behind your back and you’d never know. Have those around you, whom you can trust and who trust you as well.

E. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction
There’s nothing you do that goes unnoticed. Every action of yours has a repercussion, in what form, you don’t know.

This statement is almost similar to the concept of karma, where the kind of deed you do, is what you get back as well. How does it come back to you, is not in your control, but what you do in the first place is what’s in your control.

—x—

The best part about storytelling and stories in general is that there’s always some takeaway from it, if you wish to see that perspective. There’s always something to learn and always something to improve at, and this time, those lessons were taken from Mirzapur 2.

P. S. Awaiting Season 3. 🙂

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What makes you unique?

What makes you unique?

Every individual has something or the other, that is different from someone else.

That is unique to them.

Could be their personality aspect, their perspective, their creative aspect, their communication style, but there’s always something that makes you particularly unique from others.

Ask yourself that question, whether you’re able to answer it. If not, then that’s something to ponder upon.

That uniqueness could be your strength that you don’t know about yet.

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A blank page

A blank page

Imagine you’re writing a book, and you feel that you’re stuck somewhere and you don’t know what to write anymore, you don’t know how to proceed.

Will you stop writing that book?

Or will you try another approach to it?

You have a blank page, you have the choice to rewrite something, to change your approach towards writing, to change the entire book itself.

That is the power of a blank page.

It allows you the freedom to do anything and everything you want with that fresh page.

You can ignore everything you wrote, or rewrite the parts you didn’t like.

That’s how life works as well.

Every day is a fresh start, a blank page that allows you to rewrite your life.

That allows you to introduce the changes to make it better.

You can be stuck at a certain place, or change your approach altogether amd start with a blank page.

That choice to continue is something you have to take.

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What’s your next move?

What’s your next move?

If you are ever confused about
– What’s next?
– Can you experiment?
– Should you try something new? or,
– Can you change paths?

Always remember, you have the power to choose your next move!

No one else has that power.

No person, no market trend, or data can decide your next move.

You decide that.

Listen to your heart.

Listen to your intuition.

Listen to your voice.

You always know what to do.

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The soft spot of Perfection

The soft spot of Perfection

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The ones we admire, the ones we compare ourselves to, or compare others to, the ones we seek inspiration from – where does it come from?

We feel they are perfect – perfect in who they are, in what they do, so much so that we almost want to live their lives.

However, we forget that these “perfections” have a ton of baggages attached to them as well, and only the ones who have them know about them.

No one else.

Admirations, Comparisons and Inspirations come from the soft spot of perfection or our illusion of it.

In such a scenario, would you still want to live their life?

Or would you then just learn their ups and downs, live your own life, and try to implement or not implement from those inspirations and admirations?

What would you then choose for yourself?

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I have a daily podcast too, Mindset Marketing Movies – an RTH24 podcast – daily digestible episodes on mindset, marketing and movies.

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Appreciate anytime, anywhere

Appreciate anytime, anywhere

We often take all the good things that happen in our life, for granted.

And for all the negative things, we get upset, we get frustrated, we feel stressed and tend to give those particular moments more weightage than needed.

However, coming back to the good things, it sometimes becomes so obvious to us that we don’t even notice it. When it happens, its a part and parcel of life.

How about taking a moment of our time to appreciate this?

If a particular individual has done something for you, take the time to appreciate that individual – let them know the importance of that deed – you’ll feel good, they’ll feel good.

If you’re doing something good for another person, appreciate the person who you got these good values from – appreciate them in thought – you’ll still feel good.

If you notice something that’s a part of your life, take the time to understand its roots and show appreciation where possible. For eg. when we eat our food, we simply start eating it. Where did the items come from, where did the grains come from? Show your appreciation in thought towards the farmers, the middlemen involved in getting this to you, the one who’s making it for you.

Show your appreciation anytime, anywhere – you’ll feel good, you’ll feel positive and you’ll feel happy.

—x—

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, ‘The Weekly Zazz‘ here – where I combine thought, emotion and information on mindset, marketing, entrepreneurship, pop-culture and more.

—x—

I have a daily podcast too, Mindset Marketing Movies – an RTH24 podcast – daily digestible episodes on mindset, marketing and movies.

You can listen to it at –
Spotify|| Apple Podcasts || Breaker|| JioSaavn || PocketCasts || Google Podcasts

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